How to Understand Your Partner’s (Or Your Own) Sexual Abuse History

How to Understand Your Partner’s (Or Your Own) Sexual Abuse History

12/29/2014, Updated February 26, 2015

By Samantha Rodman, PhD 

DrPsychMom.com, Clinical Psychologist, Author

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-rodman-phd/how-to-understand-your-pa_b_6287636.html

Between Therapy Sessions: 3 Handy Coping Skills for Trauma

Between Therapy Sessions: 3 Handy Coping Skills for Trauma

March 5, 2015

By Anastasia Pollock, LCMHCPosttraumatic Stress Topic Expert Contributor

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/between-therapy-sessions-3-handy-coping-skills-for-trauma-0305154?utm_source=Subscribers&utm_campaign=562e27a994-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2016_11_23&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_135946a8dd-562e27a994-71304725

Understanding Attachment: How Our ‘Old Stuff’ Defines Us

Understanding Attachment: How Our ‘Old Stuff’ Defines Us

August 18, 2016

By Jeremy McAllister, MA, LPC, GoodTherapy.org Topic Expert Contributor

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/understanding-attachment-how-our-old-stuff-defines-us-0818165?utm_source=Subscribers&utm_campaign=562e27a994-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2016_11_23&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_135946a8dd-562e27a994-71304725

Mirroring People: The Science of Empathy

Mirroring People: The Science of Empathy and How We Connect with Others, by Marco Iacoboni. (2009)

Book Description from Amazon

Includes a new Afterword by the Author

What accounts for our remarkable ability to get inside another person’s head–to know what he or she is thinking and feeling? Marco Iacoboni, a leading neuroscientist, explains the groundbreaking research into mirror neurons, the “smart cells” in our brain that allow us to understand others. From imitation to morality, from political affiliations to consumer choices, mirror neurons are relevant to myriad aspects of social cognition. Mirroring People is the first book for the general reader on this revolutionary new science.

Limitations During Conflicts

Limitations During Conflicts

What is and what is not acceptable behavior while you’re having a conflict? (be specific, including voice tone, physicality, what you do and don’t want said, and how the argument starts and ends).

For me, it’s acceptable to behave in the following ways during a fight:

For me, it’s NOT acceptable to behave in the following ways during a fight:

Share with each other what you wrote above then take notes on your partner’s limits below:

For my partner, it’s acceptable to behave in the following ways during a fight:

For my partner, it’s NOT acceptable to behave in the following ways during a fight:

Talk about how you’d like to limit your conflicts. List limits you can both agree to keep.

List limits you can’t agree upon below:

 

About the Future

About the Future

-What would your relationship be like if your current problems were solved?

-Please share your hopes and/or goals for your relationship.

What strengths do you have as a couple that could be used to help you solve your problems?

Is it possible that you’re both focusing on how bad things are that you’ve lost touch of your abilities to improve your situation?

Try shifting your concerns from the problems/weaknesses to your strengths as a couple …

What’s your role in producing or maintaining the problem you’re currently experiencing?

 

The Experience of Anger

The Experience of Anger

How I have experienced anger.

Focus on recalling the last time you felt angry.

 -How did you experience your anger in your body?

-What thoughts went through your mind?

-What other feelings did you feel?

Focus on recalling the most powerful anger you’ve ever felt in your life.

-How did you experience your anger in your body?

-What thoughts went through your mind?

-What other feelings did you feel?

Discuss the association between your sense of yourself and your angry feelings.

Paraphrased from seminar “Helping Couples Manage Anger & Work Through Conflicts”, by Fran Giordano, April 11, 2009.