Month: June 2015

Emotional abuse is a way of hurting someone without necessarily being physical. It’s when one person in a relationship tried to control the other person’s feelings or thoughts in order to gain power over them.

On this sheet I’m evaluating my relationship with

______________________________________

Some examples of emotional abuse (also called mental, verbal, or psychological abuse) are listed below. Check any that you have done to this person, or that this person has done to you.

1.Put downs; calling names, telling them they’re stupid or ugly, telling them they’re not good enough or no one could ever love them.

 I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

2.Frequently cursing or yelling at the other person

 I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

3.Threatening or intimidating – making the other person feel nervous or scared for themselves or someone they care about

 I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

4.Frequently criticizing or correcting the other person – the way they look, act, etc

 I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

5.Lying or cheating

 I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

6.Playing mind games or making the other person think they’re crazy

I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

7.Putting responsibility for your behavior on the other person

 I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

8.Making fun or putting down the other person’s family, culture, religion, race, or heritage

I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

9.Embarrassing or humiliating the other person, especially in front of other people

I have done this to this person  _____    

This person has done this to me _____

10.Withholding affection as punishment – not giving them love if they don’t do what you want them to do

I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

11.Controlling behavior – telling the other person what to do, what to wear, who to hang out with, etc

I have done this to this person  _____    

This person has done this to me _____

12.Making all the decisions in the relationship and ignoring the other person’s feeling

I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

13.Guilt trips – trying to make the other person feel guilty when you don’t get your way, specially to hurt yourself or commit suicide

I have done this to this person  _____    

This person has done this to me _____

14.Keeping the other person from spending time with their friends or family members, or from work or other activities that are important to him/her

I have done this to this person  _____    

This person has done this to me _____

15.Using children to get the other person to do what you want

I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

16.Being extremely jealous, and using jealousy to justify controlling behavior

I have done this to this person  _____    

This person has done this to me _____

17.Threatening to break up with the other person if you don’t get your way

I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

18.Saying you don’t love the other person just to get him/her to do what you want

I have done this to this person  _____    

This person has done this to me _____

19.Accusing the other person of cheating on you as a way of manipulating him/her to do what you want

I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

20.Keeping constant tabs on a person, expecting to know his/her every move

I have done this to this person  _____     

This person has done this to me _____

Here are some examples of emotional abuse I have experienced in my life (not necessarily with this person above):

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Am I being emotionally abused by my partner?

Yes _____ No _____

Have I been emotionally abused in the past?

Yes _____ No _____

Am I being emotionally abusive to my partner?

Yes _____ No _____

Have I been emotionally abusive in the past?

Yes _____ No _____

Emotional abuse includes:

-Ignoring your feelings

­­­­­­-­­­Ridiculing or insulting women/men as a group

-Ridiculing or insulting your most valued beliefs, your religion, race, heritage, of class

-Withholding approval, appreciation, or affection as punishment

-Continual criticism, name calling, shouting

-Withholding money or coercing you to turn over control of your money

-Being irresponsible with marital debt, ruining your credit

-Isolating you from family, friends, and community

-Threatening your family members with physical injury

-Humiliating you in public or private

-Refusal to socialize with you

-Taking away car keys or money

-Regularly threaten to leave or told you to leave

-Threaten to kidnap children when he/she is angry with you

-Abused pets to hurt you

-Accused you of having affairs

-Manipulated you with lies and contradictions