Head Over Heels: Wives Who Stay with Cross-Dressers and Transsexuals (Human Sexuality) 1st Edition

IBy Virginia Erhardt, PhD. (2006) 

From Amazon.com: “Candid, first-hand accounts of couples who stay together despite highly emotional gender issues. Head Over Heels gives voice to thirty ordinary women who live extraordinary lives as partners to crossdressers, transgenderists, and male-to-female transsexuals. These unique women discuss, with honesty and great candor, how they first learned of their partners’ gender issues, how they’ve coped with the emotions that followed, how they’ve dealt with concerns about privacy/secrecy, and how they’ve handled disclosure to children, friends, and family members. Far from a collection of “happily ever after” stories, these narratives are filled with pain, courage, curiosity, and joy as each woman struggles to redefine a relationship that includes intimacy, social acceptance, dignity, and respect. The women whose stories are featured in Head Over Heels didn’t know their partners were gender-variant when they first met. Some found out early on; others learned of their husbands’ gender variance after decades of marriage. Some were told by their husbands―men they considered “regular guys;” others found out on their own, sometimes in shocking ways. Their stories represent a wide spectrum of women’s life experiences with crossdressers, transgenderists, transsexuals who are nonoperative, pre-operative, and post-operative, families without children, families with children at home, and families with children who have left home. But these women share one thing in common: each has decided to stay in her relationship, exploring her new life with an open, yet cautious, heart.

Some of the voices heard in Head Over Heels:

  • “While putting my clothes on, I found a sales receipt on the bureau from K-Mart for shoes, a bra, and stockings. My immediate thought was that my husband had a girlfriend.”
  • “He dressed for me one night and it was the worst experience of both our lives. I was shocked and he knew it and that hurt him.”
  • “My siblings had been aware of Trish’s transsexualism for several years when she went full-time. They have told me that while I will always be welcome in their homes, Trish is not.”
  • “My husband may think differently, but I do have a sexual identity. Actually, I’m real clear about it―I am a woman and he is a man. I do not allow him to crossdress in the bedroom. I married a man; therefore, I will sleep with a man.”

Head Over Heels also includes historical and current information about resources and support for wives of gender-variant people, and a substantive introduction that includes basic information about sexual and gender identity and related issues.”

She’s Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband

She's Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband by [Boyd, Helen]

By Helen Boyd  (2007) From Amazon.com: “Helen Boyd’s husband, who had long been open about being a cross-dresser, was considering living as a woman full time. Suddenly, Boyd was confronted with the reality of what it would mean if her husband were actually to become a woman — socially, legally, and medically. Would Boyd love and desire her partner the same way? Boyd’s first book, My Husband Betty, explored the relationships of cross-dressing men and their partners. Now, She’s Not the Man I Married is both a sequel and a more expansive examination of gender in relationships. It’s for couples who are homosexual or heterosexual, and for readers who fall anywhere along the gender continuum. As Boyd struggles to understand the nature of marriage, passion, and love, she shares her confusion and anger, providing a fascinating observation of the ways in which relationships are gendered, and how we cope, or don’t, with the emotional and sexual pressures that gender roles can bring to our marriages and relationships.”

My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser

My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser by [Boyd, Helen]

By Helen Boyd (2009)

From Amazon.com: “Author Helen Boyd is a happily married woman whose husband enjoys sharing her wardrobe – and she has written the first book on transgendered men to focus on their relationships. Traditionally known as cross-dressers, transvestites, or drag queens, men like Helen’s husband are a diverse lot who don’t always conform to stereotype. Helen addresses every imaginable question concerning the probable and improbable reasons for behavior that still baffle not only “mental health professionals” but the practitioners themselves; the taxonomy of the transgendered and the distinct but overlapping societies of each group; coming out; bisexuality, and homophobia. The book features interviews with some very interesting people: a dominatrix and her crossdressing husband; a crossdressing Reiki master and his son; a woman who after dating one crossdresser wanted to date others and fell in love with a transsexual instead; and a woman whose husband promised her he was only a crossdresser who later realized that he was transsexual. The stories and opinions chosen to represent the spectrum will surely titillate, shock, and disgust some readers; alternatively, Helen’s narrative is a powerful lens with which to examine our own notions of gender and equality.”

Also from Amazon.com: “Helen Boyd is the author of My Husband Betty (Thunder’s Mouth, 2004) and She’s Not the Man I Married (Seal Press, 2007). She lives in Brooklyn with her partner Betty and their three cats. Her blog (en)gender can be found at www.myhusbandbetty.com.”

Why Do We Repeat the Same Dysfunctional Relationship Patterns Over and Over?

By Sharon Martin, LCSW 
~ 5 min read

At Blogs.Psychcentral.com

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2018/07/why-do-we-repeat-the-same-dysfunctional-relationship-patterns/?utm_source=Psych+Central+Weekly+Newsletter&utm_campaign=5390ad9ff6-GEN_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c648d0eafd-5390ad9ff6-29826629

How To Fix The Four Communication Styles That Predict Divorce

How To Fix The Four Communication Styles That Predict Divorce

By Rachel Fintzy Woods, MA, LMFT
~ 4 min read

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/cultivating-contentment/2018/06/how-to-fix-the-four-communication-styles-that-predict-divorce/?utm_source=Psych+Central+Weekly+Newsletter&utm_campaign=087273985c-GEN_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c648d0eafd-087273985c-29826629

Unhealthy Relationships: 12 Ways To Recognize Abusive People

Unhealthy Relationships: 12 Ways To Recognize Abusive People

Támara Hill, LPC

Published February 16, 2018

https://youtu.be/Kn6_h7AMcAw

Relationships of all kind are challenging. You may find yourself experiencing gas-lighting, stonewalling, triangulation, and a host of other tactics. But what makes them harder to navigate is when one individual is attempting to violate your boundaries, undermine your independence, create codependency, dominate your thoughts and emotions, or control every ounce of your existence. In this video, I discuss 12 ways to identify the unhealthy patterns of behavior you may be experiencing in your relationships. I provide examples of the unhealthy behaviors. Stay tuned for next week’s video as I will be discussing ways to address these unhealthy behaviors. For my new book (Kindle/Paperback) on Understanding and Helping Suicidal Adolescents, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-…. Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/therapisttee Website: http://anchoredinknowledge.com International http://blogs.psychcentral.com/caregivers Identifying selfish individuals in unhealthy relationships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4woA9… TedTalk on relationships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXL… Talking to someone who has delusions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dysfm…

Category

People & Blogs

License

Standard YouTube License

Boundaries and Relationships

Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self

By Charles L. Whitfield, MD. (1994)

From Amazon.com: “More than personal boundaries, this book is really about relationships–healthy and unhealthy ones. Here bestselling author and psychotherapist Charles Whitfield blends theories and dynamics from several disciplines into practical knowledge and actions that your can use in your relationships right now.

This comprehensive book opens with clear definitions and descriptions of boundaries, a self-assessment survey and a history of our accumulated knowledge. Going deeper, it describes the 10 essential areas of human interaction wherein you can improve your relationships. These include age regression, giving and receiving (projection and projective identification), triangles, core recovery issues, basic dynamics, unfinished business and spirituality. It shows in countless practical ways how knowledge of each of these is most useful in your recovery and everyday life.”

15 Common Forms of Verbal Abuse in Relationships

15 Common Forms of Verbal Abuse in Relationships:  The abuser feels more powerful when he puts down his victim.

March 27, 2015

By Berit Brogaard, D.M.Sci., Ph.D.

At Psychologytoday.com

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mysteries-love/201503/15-common-forms-verbal-abuse-in-relationships