Category: Adult Children of Alcoholics

About Dysfunctional Families

Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family

Generalizations

Dysfunction defined:

Physical/emotional abuse

Chronic physical illness

Alcoholism/substance abuse

Sexual Abuse

Inconsistent and unpredictable parenting

Chronic marital conflict

Typical Dysfunctional Parenting:

Denial

Avoidance

Rationalization

Projection of blame

Over-Control

Negativity

Ridicule/shaming

Anger and hostility

Role reversals

Chronic crises/unpredictable

Lack of positive reinforcement

Conditionality/non-Empathic

Dysfunctional Rules:

Don’t talk

Don’t trust

Don’t feel

Results of Dysfunction:

Depression

Anxiety disorders

Low self-esteem

Substance abuse

Fears of rejection

Self-defeating patterns

Negative relationships

Self-critical

Controlling

Difficulties with intimacy

Affectively blunted

Over-responsible

Perfectionistic

“All or Nothing” thinking

Hypervigilant

Not “Good Enough” or unlovable

Difficulties with spontaneity or fun

Positive Traits:

Heightening Sensitivity

Empathic

Inner Strength

Problem Solvers

Take less for Granted

Commitment to having a healthy family with compassion and caring

Overcoming Dysfunction:

Awareness of dysfunction

Support from healthy people

Open mindedness to change

Increasing flexibility

Positive Self-Talk

Recognition of feelings

Communication of feelings

Recognition of needs

Delegate responsibilities

Creating safety

Finding mentors

Work in therapy

Self-Worth & Good Enough

Parenting oneself

The Doomed Relationship. The Codependent/Narcissist Relationship Dance

The Doomed Relationship. The Codependent/Narcissist Relationship Dance. Codependency Narcissism

By Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC

Published on Jun 9, 2013

In Ross’s seminar, Codependents and Emotional Manipulators: Understanding the Attraction, he shares his ideas and his essay about the “codependent/emotional manipulator dance. He also reads his essay, Codependency, Don’t Dance! This essay was the inspiration of both the seminar and his book, The Human Magnet Syndrome.

In Ross’s book, The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us, he introduces a new psychological theory describing the irresistible love attraction between opposite personality types: Codependents and Emotional Manipulators. These relationships are “perfectly” dysfunctionally balanced.

Emotional Manipulators are pathological narcissists and Codependents are pathological givers and caretakers. When both are attracted to each other, they are magnetically and irresistibly drawn into romantic relationships, not so much by what they see, feel and think, but more by an invisible and irresistible force – the Human Magnet Syndrome