Signs & Symptoms a Child May Have Major Attachment Problems

Signs & Symptoms a Child May Have Major Attachment Problems

-Lack of ability to give and receive affection

-Phoniness-may be superficially charming and show affection to strangers

-Self-destructive behavior

-Cruelty to others

-Stealing, hoarding, gorging

-May act hard of hearing or have speech problems-child controls verbal interactions

-Pathological lying

-Extreme control problems-ongoing power struggles

-Lack of long-term friends

-Abnormalities in eye contact-may look you in the eye when lying or wants something from you

-Preoccupation with blood, fire, gore

-Sees caretakers as unreasonably angry and harsh-often feel abused when not-may falsely claim abuse

Intimate Justice Scale

The Intimate Justice Scale

By Kay Bradford, PhD, LMFT

Read each item below to see if it describes how your partner usually treats you. Then circle the number that best describes how strongly you agree or disagree with whether it applies to you.

1.My partner never admits when she or he is wrong.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

2.My partner is unwilling to adapt to my needs and expectations.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

3.My partner is more insensitive than caring.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

4. I am often forced to sacrifice my own needs to meet my partner’s needs.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

5.My partner refuses to talk about problems that make him or her look bad.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

6.My partner withholds affection unless it would benefit her or him.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

7.It is hard to disagree with my partner because she or he gets angry.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

8.My partner resents being questioned about the way he or she treats me.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

9.My partner builds himself or herself up by putting me down.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

10.My partner retaliates when I disagree with him or her.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

11.My partner is always trying to change me.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

12.My partner believes he or she has the right to force me to do things.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

13.My partner is too possessive or jealous.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

14.My partner tries to isolate me from family and friends.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

15.Sometimes my partner physically hurts me.

I strongly agree                     I do not agree              I don’t agree at all

1                    2                    3                    4                    5

 

Scoring the Intimate Justice Scale

Range:  Low: 15 (no reported violations of intimate justice)

High: 75 (pervasive violations and high likelihood of abuse)

Cutoffs:  15-29: Little risk of violence

30-45: Likelihood of minor violence

>45:  Likelihood of moderate to severe violence

If the score is over 30, assess

1) Types of abuse (sexual, psychological, physical, emotional, restrictive, etc.)

2) Abuse history (frequency, severity, and number of abusive partners)

3) Injury history (types of injuries, whether medical treatment was necessary & whether it was sought)

Further assessment may be done verbally if the client is willing, and/or via other instruments (e.g., Conflict Tactics Scale). Remember, this instrument measures the respondent’s perceptions of the other person.

Jory, B. (2004). The intimate justice scale: An instrument to screen for psychological abuse and physical violence in clinical practice.  Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 30, 29-44.

The Survivor’s Guide to Sex

The Survivor’s Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse, by Staci Haines (1999)

Based on the author’s extensive training and experience in working with abuse survivors, The Survivor’s Guide to Sex offers an affirming, sex-positive approach to recovery from incest and rape. While most books on the topic broach sexuality only to reassure women that it is alright to say “no” to unwanted sex, this one encourages women to learn how to say “yes” to their own desires and on their own terms.

Points of discussion include problems common to women survivors. Haines teaches survivors to embrace their own sexual choices and preferences, learn about their own sexual response cycles, and heal through masturbation, sexual fantasy, and play. The Survivor’s Guide to Sex includes resources, bibliography, and an index.

When a Man You Love Was Abused

When a Man You Love Was Abused: A Woman’s Guide to Helping Him Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation, by Cecil Murphey (2010). Kregel Publications

The numbers of males abused in childhood are sometimes listed as low as 5 percent or as high as 33 percent. Though statistics are controversial, no one disputes the fact that childhood abuse is a continuing problem―or that such abuse can have devastating effects on future relationships. For all women who know and love a survivor of sexual assault, best-selling author Cecil Murphey has penned an honest and forthright book about surviving―and thriving―despite past abuses.

Both informative and highly practical, Murphey helps women understand the continuing problems that abuse survivors may encounter, including hurtful memories, issues of self worth, and the need to feel in control. With sensitivity and encouragement, Murphey then explains what women can do to help bring about healing and forgiveness. Written with the empathy that only a true survivor can convey, When a Man You Love Was Abused is a timely piece of advice and encouragement.

Find out more at www.menshatteringthesilence.blogspot.com

The Lifelong Cost of Burying Our Traumatic Experiences

The lifelong cost of burying our traumatic experiences

Past trauma can mean not feeling fully alive in the present (Image: Stanley Greene/Noor/eyevine)

The Lifelong Cost of Burying Our Traumatic Experiences

By Shaoni Bhattacharya, consultant for New Scientist

Magazine issue 2994 published November 8, 2014

In New Scientist Magazine

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg22429941-200-the-lifelong-cost-of-burying-our-traumatic-experiences/?utm_content=buffer5a5fd&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer