By Robert Karen
In The Atlantic Monthly
February 1992, v269, n2, p40 (21)
Category: Shame
As a Man Who Has Experienced Sexual Abuse, Why Do I Feel So Much Shame?
For men who have experienced sexual abuse or assault—either in childhood or adulthood—feelings of shame can be confusing. Learn how shame can be both understood and overcome.
At 1in6.org
Why Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse Don’t Disclose
Six reasons why adult victims of child sexual abuse continue to keep the secret.
March 6, 2019
At Psychologytoday.com
Shaming Children Is Emotionally Abusive
Children respect those who respect them.
September 10, 2012
How I Healed Myself of Shame
By Beverly Engel, LMFT
April 18, 2018
It Wasn’t Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion
![It Wasn't Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion by [Engel, Beverly]](https://i0.wp.com/images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41rbEWh%252B2nL.jpg?w=660&ssl=1)
By Beverly Engel, LMFT (2015)
From Amazon.com: “Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault.
In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you’ll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences.
Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination.
This book is based on the author’s powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You’ll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you’ll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion—pride.”
Stop Shaming Victims of Sexual Assault for Not Reporting
Stop Shaming Victims of Sexual Assault for Not Reporting, Ten (understandable) reasons why victims of sexual assault do not report
Posted September 23, 2018
Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse
It Wasn’t Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion, by Beverly Engel, LMFT (2015).
Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault.
In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you’ll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences.
Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination.
This book is based on the author’s powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You’ll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you’ll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion—pride.
Summary above from Amazon.com
COURAGEworks
COURAGEworks
Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW is a research professor who studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy.
Check out her website and Facebook pages at COURAGEworks
Brené Brown: Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count
Brené Brown: Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count
Published on Dec 4, 2013
About this presentation
There is nothing more frightening than the moment we expose our ideas to the world. Author and vulnerability researcher Brené Brown shows us how to deal with the critics and our own self-doubt by refusing to “armor up” and shut ourselves off. “Not caring what people think,” she says, “is its own kind of hustle.”
Instead we must “reserve a seat” for the critics and our own self-doubt. “Tell them, I see you, I hear you, but I’m going to do this anyway.”
Watch more videos at http://www.99u.com/videos
2:14 “Design is a function of connection. Nothing is more then vulnerable then creativity. What is art if it is not love?”
3:11 Perspiration from fear
6:48 Theodore Roosevelt quote/passage that changed my life: “It’s not the critic who counts…”
7:39 Everything i know about vulnerability: it is not about winning or losing, it’s about showing up and being seen
7:53 “This is who I want to be I want to create. I want to make thing that didn’t exist before touched them.”
8:14 One guarantee: you will get you ass kicked
8:39 “If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m no interested in your opinion”
9:41 This is where we sweat
10:17 Fear, self doubt, comparison, anxiety
11:06 When you armor up, you shut yourself off from everything that you do an love
11:40 Without vulnerability you cannot create
12:41 Know your critics are there, know what they’re going to say
12:57 Shame, scarcity and comparison
15:20 “When we stop caring what people thing we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people thing we lose our capacity to be vulnerable.”
16:38 If you’re going to spend your life in the ring/showing up, you’re going to need: 1) Clarity of values
17:18 2) Have person in your life thats going to pick you up
18:14 “People who have the most courage and vulnerability are the ones who are very clear about who the critics are and reserve seats for them.”
19:32 One of these seats needs to be reserved for you
About Brené Brown
Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past twelve years studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Her groundbreaking research has been featured on PBS, NPR, CNN, The Washington Post, and The New York Times.
Brené is the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Gotham, 2012). In Daring Greatly Brené dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Fast Company Magazine recently named Daring Greatly one of the best business books of 2012. Brené’s 2010 TEDx Houston talk, The Power of Vulnerability, is one of the top ten most viewed TED talks on TED.com, with over 6 million viewers.
Brené is also the author of The Gifts of Imperfection (2010), I Thought It Was Just Me (2007), and Connections (2009). She lives in Houston with her husband, Steve, and their two children, Ellen and Charlie.
About 99U
The 99U delivers the action-oriented education that you didn’t get in school, highlighting real-world best practices for making ideas happen.
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Living Brave with Brene Brown and Oprah Winfrey
Living Brave with Brene Brown and Oprah Winfrey
Published on November 23, 2015
Video from GCSW Alum and Professor, Brene Brown. See the full episode at: http://www.courageworks.com/2015/11/l…
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The Power of Vulnerability | Brené Brown
The Power of Vulnerability | Brené Brown
Uploaded on Jan 3, 2011
http://www.ted.com Brené Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share.
TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes. Featured speakers have included Al Gore on climate change, Philippe Starck on design, Jill Bolte Taylor on observing her own stroke, Nicholas Negroponte on One Laptop per Child, Jane Goodall on chimpanzees, Bill Gates on malaria and mosquitoes, Pattie Maes on the “Sixth Sense” wearable tech, and “Lost” producer JJ Abrams on the allure of mystery. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, development and the arts. Closed captions and translated subtitles in a variety of languages are now available on TED.com, at http://www.ted.com/translate. Watch a highlight reel of the Top 10 TEDTalks at http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/top10
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