Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief, by Jennifer Elison, Ed.D. and Chris McGonigle, Ph.D. (2003)
When someone close to us dies, the world-our relatives, acquaintances, and society at large-expects us to grieve. Of course, as taboo as it is to admit or talk about, not every death brings with it overwhelming or exclusive sadness. Labeled a “nontraditional grief response” by therapists and counselors, a measure of relief or even happiness is far more common than the clinical description would have us believe. Sometimes we are relieved that our loved one is no longer suffering; at the other end of the spectrum, a death might finally free us of an abusive or unhappy relationship. In either case, feeling any measure of relief breeds guilt and, in turn, continued silence.Jennifer Elison and Chris McGonigle have experienced the discomfort and shame of mixed relief firsthand. In this groundbreaking book, they share their own and others’ stories, compassionate clinical analysis, and pragmatic counsel with other disenfranchised survivors. Shedding light on feelings that many deem insensitive, callous, or even strange, and suggesting ways to come to terms with them, Elison and McGonigle generously validate the reaction so many feel obliged to hide, ultimately relieving the corresponding guilt with which so many are burdened.For more information, please visit the authors’ website: www.liberatinglosses.com
The Mourning Handbook: The Most Comprehensive Resource Offering Practical and Compassionate Advice on Coping with All Aspects of Death and Dying, by Helen Fitzgerald, Certified Death Educator. (1995)
No one should be left to grieve alone
Even with the help of friends and family, grieving the death of a loved one can be a complex, sometimes overwhelming, process. The Mourning Handbook is written as a companion to those mourners in need of practical and emotional assistance during the trying times before and after the death of a loved one.
Having counseled thousands of people who have experienced loss, Helen Fitzgerald gives special attention to the complex emotions that can accompany especially traumatic situations, such as when a loved one has been murdered, when there have been multiple deaths, when a body has not been recovered, or when the mourner has been the inadvertent cause of death.
Designed to conform to the special needs of the bereaved, The Mourning Handbook is written and organized in an accessible style punctuated by real stories of people who have experienced every kind of loss. With many subchapters and cross references, it can be consulted for a specific problem or read at length.
Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating
by Robert Weiss, LCSW. (2017)
Get Out of the Doghouse and Back into Your Marriage!
Men and women are very different when it comes to relationships, and this difference is amplified when a man cheats. While men are able to compartmentalize things like casual sex, women typically view any form of cheating as an affront to their entire relationship. They think: “If he is lying to me about sex, he’s probably lying to me about everything.” For betrayed women, trust just flat-out disintegrates. Without proper guidance, men–who are often unaware of the type and degree of pain they have caused their spouse–have little chance of restoring it.
Underneath the hurt and betrayal, usually there is still love. Where there is love and motivation for change, there is hope for the relationship to move forward. Robert Weiss, a nationally acclaimed expert in the treatment of sex, infidelity, and intimacy issues, has spent over 25 years helping couples find peace and healing. In “Out of the Doghouse” he shares his expertise, illuminating the concrete steps men can take to rebuild trust, restore intimacy, and save their primary relationship. He also gives direction to women on how to know when it is okay to move beyond fear, suspicion, and remorse to a place of hope and relationship renewal.
The Quiet Wound
1/4/16 | Updated January 1, 2017
By Paul Dunion, Ed.D., LPC
Unloved Daughters and Mourning the Mother You Deserved
Why grieving the mother you didn’t have is key to recovering from childhood.
Peg Streep, Tech Support
March 9, 2017