Article Review: The Values Americans Live By

Counseling & Human Development in a Multicultural Society, HSC 503

Patrick McGrath, Ed.D.

Spring 1998

The Values Americans Live By

Author/Presenter: L. Robert Kohls       

Bibliographic Data/Source:  1984. The Washington International Center.  

1.    Identify the topic, i.e., what are the main issue(s) addressed?

       The topic is American values. The authors prepared them for foreign travelers to help them understand the treatment they are likely to receive in America.         

2.    Identify the main points, ideas, suggestions addressed?

       Thirteen values are listed to explain the way Americans think and behave. These thirteen values are intended to explain just what American rugged individualism is about and how it might be expressed to a visitor to this country.

3.    What is your reaction (thoughts about) to the main issues?

       As a person who has spent a great deal of time in the last few years studying ethics and values, I found this article intriguing. I’ve never seen such a great copulation of American values before. Seeing these American values grouped as they were I realized that, as a feminist, I have questioned the value of most of these values at one time or another. In fact I believe that many of these values are actually harmful to humanity.

4.    What reaction(s) do you have to the main point(s), etc?

       Although I agree that the thirteen values do represent what a majority of Americans have internalized, I personally do not embrace most of these values. This may explain why I often have a sense of  not “fitting in” of being different from a majority of my fellow citizens. I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on, studying, and arguing many of these values that most Americans aren’t fully aware of. Once internalized they lie hidden beneath the surface, but are not without the power to influence our attitudes and behaviors. Perhaps this is why I sometimes feel like a stranger or a foreigner to many people in my own country.

       Fatalism has been used a weapon against oppressed peoples. This value of Man’s control over Nature is threatening global safety itself and has caused great harm to the environment. Change is not always progressive. Many medical technologies are inflicted upon people before the ethical considerations and potential ramifications have been thought about. Our focus on time has led to our functioning as robots that end up actually being controlled by time rather than the other way around. I’m ashamed to see equality listed as a value we are supposed to hold. Most who have lived in America as a female, as Black, as Native American, as a homosexual etc, etc know this is a fallacy.

       Individualism and privacy have also been yielded as weapons to keep Americans from being our brother’s keepers when so many of our brothers need us. We are usually expected to go it alone, figure it out for ourselves and not complain about feeling alienated. The notion of self-help is also a harmful fallacy. Only a few non-White Anglo Saxon Americans are allowed to climb the social ladder. When someone like Colan Powell “makes it” he is used as an example of how everyone could do it if they tried. However, this is a strategic tactic of the elites who plan this and use it as an argument for the facility of their deceptive self-help concept. I have long believed that cooperation will prove to be the only way for humans to live together in peace and love. I believe that the enormous excess wealth in the hands of so few (and growing fewer all the time) is profoundly unethical and one of the most immoral acts that humans have developed. This system run by elites is at the very core of  much human misery in the world. If this one value were dissipated the world would entirely change for the better. Teacher comment: I agree! If every person had just the basic requirements such as things as food, decent shelter, reasonable safety, we could then start discussing the beginnings of equality. Until this happens there is no equality.

       It’s true many Americans have no concept about just enjoying Being on the planet. We sometimes lose sight of the present moment because it’s not valued. Our constant work orientation has made me feel guilty for the time I have spent reflecting. I have sensed that people have wondered about me. Some years ago I worked through some nursing agencies and had the opportunity to make very good money. Instead of working a lot to make even more money, I worked just enough to earn the amount of money I needed to pay my bills, not to get rich. Informality is one of the few values that I believe in. Formality is to me artificial and distancing to connecting with others. I do like being open and honest to an extent, often you have to if you’re going to protect yourself and be your own advocate in an oppressive society. Americans do like philosophies and theories that stand to manipulate the masses to come under the control of those in power. Psychological theories have blamed people with emotional problems for their problems which perpetuates the dominance of rationality. The philosophy/theory of rugged individualism has played a big part in the development of maintaining cold, aloof, and indifferent rationality. Materialism makes us forget who we really are in a spiritual sense. When our lives are focused on material accumulation we loose sight of much of life’s richness.

5.    Considering the content presented AND your reaction(s) to it, what “point” or idea would you make/share with the class?

        We ought to spend some precious time really thinking about what we are unconsciously valuing because it may actually be harming us and preventing us from living fully. Teacher comment: Yes!

6.    What questions might you have about the content and/or your reaction?

       If values are simply internalized and blindly adopted among our masses without major societal reflection, can we truly call them values?  Teacher comment: Interesting question, certainly we could call them ”ways of living” and I guess “preferred” if we wouldn’t live some other way – & if “preferred..” A value judgment is implicit if not explicit.   

Women’s Stories and Narrative Therapy:

Can Women Count on Being Heard Within the Context of Their Struggles?

Pat Anderson

Feminist Theories, Winter 1997

Faculty: Ann Russo

Women’s Stories and Narrative Therapy: Can Women Count on Being Heard within the Context of Their Struggles?

            In fundamentals of counseling class a liberal, Jewish, white, male, teacher explained the importance of listening to clients “stories” – to a narrative therapist, client’s stories are the vital therapeutic tool. In  feminist theories I read about the importance of women’s contextual, cut to the bone, honest stories. Surely this story metaphor came into my life through two separate ears for a good reason. Surely the word story will in some way inform my vision about the kind of counselor I want to become and perhaps the kind of counseling that women will or will not  need in the future. I want to pool my learning, see what feminist author say that will inform my vision of counseling that I may not receive within the counseling program.

            My short term goal is to become a feminist counselor. So I have purposely set out to find connections between feminist theories and counseling. To my delight, the connections abound. It’s the meaning of the connections that I seek to make sense of here.

            According to my teacher, Al Ross (1997) what clients want most is to be liked by their therapists. One student asked, “How do we deal with it if we have a client that we don’t like?” He responded, “Narrative therapists believe that it’s hard not to like a person when you listen to their stories.” While hearing this was heartening, I fear it’s an idealistic notion. But I would love to be wrong.

            I see what happens in the world in terms of a universal consciousness; the world’ collective voices sharing their ideas and connecting them within the historical time frame. It’s like societal thinking along the same vein, with a similar progressive world view, despite different geographical, racial, cultural, gender, sexuality, or national locations. It’s a spiritual connectedness whose very vocabulary is still in progress. This kind of thinking is what Mohanty shares in her view of Third World feminism where she envisions a hopeful universal connectedness, that goes beyond gender. I hope to connect what feminist authors have to say that can be useful to the field of mental health and my learning to be a mental health professional.

            Griffin has also thought in these terms. She says that memories of abused children threaten our collective consciousness and question our notions of school, church and family; these people contain the “bad dreams” of western culture. She questions which version of memory will be viewed as “truth” by our culture? New previously hidden narratives surface, formerly hidden, denied histories and literatures from people on the margins. She believes the definition of the war of our times places forces of remembering in an oppositional position with forgetfulness and denial (Griffin 235). I wonder whose truths will be taken seriously within mental health also.

            Autobiography demonstrates the process of self-revision; it is the Operator’s Manual for a fluid, dynamic self, a self-in-time” (236). Our collective selves are shaken to the roots with the competing stories feeling “like madness” (236). She refers to this time in history as, ““revolutionary” reconstruction of our selfhood” (236).  She hyphenates the word re-membering as does hooks (6); it presents an image of putting back together, of unifying . Forgetting is to “dismember,” to take apart – to be without integrity. Women’s studies itself is about counter re-membering. She thinks that collectively our re-membering has the power to overturn patriarchy (Griffin 236). I know that the traditional medical model, of which mental health evolved, has functioned as a tool of patriarchy. I can see their model being left behind in my program, but if men are doing the newer models women still need to be wary.

            Words used to describe the framework of narrative therapy are similar to words used by feminist authors. It’s structural foundation seems to relate well to what feminists say in their writings. The framework that I will present, sounds good, but one wonder about how narrative therapy might work within the world views of different therapists? Can we trust that they will be viewed as they have been experienced within the context of people’s struggle? As a feminist, I  look beyond their words. I will attempt to illustrate the connections I discovered by placing the author’s words themselves within the basic frameworks of narrative therapy. 

1.      Help clients to name their problems that are oppressing them

            hooks says the culture of shame among black folks demanded the silencing of racism’s pain and prevented holistic strategies for healing needed to break the cycle. hooks identified the need to collectively name and confront suffering, before  constructive healing and the end of racist domination could be actualized (hooks 144). hook’s basic strategy is needed by all people seeking liberation.

            hooks also warns us through the example of Black Freudian psychiatrists, who in their book Black Rage, said black rage was a sign of powerlessness; in essence they named it pathological and explained it away (12). As she argues caution is appropriate in the naming process.

            Friedan described how suburban housewives were said to have had everything they needed to fulfill themselves: they had houses in suburbia, husbands and kids (18). When women had problems they thought it must be something wrong within themselves. Initially, even psychoanalysts were at a loss to name  their problem for them. The few women who actually sought psychological help denied the “problem” (Friedan 19).

            Eventually mental health professionals did come up with vague names to label women’s problems; names such as “housewives blight”, or “housewive’s syndrome”. One woman spent years on “the couch” working out her “adjustment to the feminine role”. Women experienced a strange feeling of desperation, an emptiness, as if they didn’t exist (20). Many were beginning to ask, “… who am I? (Friedan 20-21). Their inability to name their own situations, precluded their ability to discover a sense of self, let alone a self-defined plural self.

            New unnamed neuroses were being found among women that were equitable to Freud’s sexual repression theories (Friedan 29). A White House conference questioned whether children were being overdosed on nurturance. Sociologists wondered whether adults were organizing children’s lives so that they lacked time to daydream (Friedan 30). Moms were blamed for focusing their entire lives on children. Therapists even found ways to name and pathologize women’s compliance with their prescribed role.     

2.      Identify the problem’s oppressive intentions and tactics used to dominate the client’s life

            DeBeauvoir says women are right in declining to accept man-made rules, they had no say in making the rules (682). “… equality in difference” to the other sex, is like “equal but separate” to Jim Crow laws. Deep similarities exist between blacks and women, both have been deemed submissive and inferior so that the master could keep them in their place” (DeBeauvoir 683). No doubt about the intention involved in this dehumanization to oppress.

            Throughout life women are repeatedly damaged and corrupted by the notion of her true vocation – submission. She wasn’t socialized to take charge of her existence, so she is left to  count on love and supervision from others (DeBeauvoir 694). Even the meekest of men knows what it’s like to feel superior. This socially intrinsic superiority acts like a miraculous balm any  anxiety they might have about inferiority (DeBeauvoir #684). hooks might also  argue that white women have used their skin color to boost their morale and privileges in a similar fashion.

            The simple answer “to cure this toothache of the spirit” was for women to hand themselves and their will over to God (Friedan 23-24). Freud had said, “anatomy is destiny” and women’s socialization taught them the value of everything but themselves.  Women were told they just need to adjust to their lucky role.

            At the time of Friedan’s writing, relatively new gains in women’s rights were blamed for women’s unhappiness (24). They blamed the supposedly “victorious” victim. DeBeauvoir also discussed women’s lucky irresponsible status (693). I believe the opposite, I think women feel overly responsible for everything.

            Identity is part of the tactics involved. Allison told her story of being poor, queer, sexually and violently abused and the we\they created by each part of her (13). Society urges us to fit into acceptable myths and theories of the mainstream and of lesbian-feminist reinterpretation (15). We use categories such as class, race, sexuality, and gender to dismiss each other with. Allison says these categories need excavation from within (35).

            Allison described her incestuous, violent family as a prison camp with “… normal everyday horrors, fully known and hidden” (53). She talks about her excruciating childhood matter of factly in order to stay sane. She has wondered how love and betrayal become so deeply intertwined. She discusses the profound conflict involved in loving her mother and sisters. Despite the love, she wanted her sisters to sleep nearest the door and hated her mother when she came home late (54-55). This kind of despair can’t be analyzed, it must be lived (Allison 14). Psychological theories that relate to rape, incest, and abuse should come out of the personal experience of survivors, not from theorists seeking to control women’s lives.

            Women don’t know enough about each other, our fears, hopes or the many ways society has acted upon us (113). As a result of great sorrow she learned that all systems of oppression feed on private terrors, kept silent in public, few more forcefully than sexual oppression. Prevailing myths rule that no good girls, even the most radical – don’t have desires for other women (Allison 117).

            Pharr explains how the Right brings racial hatred into fight against homophobia and thus fuels moves both agendas (63). The use of coded language demonizes sexual diversity creating a wedge between gays and people of color (65). Contradictions keep people from thinking about gays in positive ways; the use inflammatory images and misinformation dehumanizes gays as predators, just as Black men were accused of being rapists and black women of being whores and welfare mothers (67). Oppressed groups are pitted against one another (68). Homophobia in the black community makes homosexuality a white thing (Pharr 70).

3.      Investigate how the problem disrupting and dominating the client’s life and the possible tricks used to gain control 

            Friedan says that what was embedded within the feminine mystique was, “… a growing divergence between this image of woman and human reality” (64). Despite there not being a psychological term for the harm, the feminine mystique is not a harmless image (66). She questions the affects of women denying their own minds and their own reality in lieu of an image (Friedan 66). Surely this profound denial cannot foster mental health; the spiritual harm it imposes also lacks moral integrity.

            Social discrimination may appear harmless on the surface but it can lead to moral and intellectual results so profound they seem as if biological for women (685). In discussing the famous psychoanalytic theory, “penis envy” DeBeauvoir’s logic is that women don’t want to castrate men. They see themselves as a mutilation; the penis symbolized privileges accorded him because of it (689). It could certainly be an expression of rage over her inferior dependent position. In an egalitarian world there wouldn’t be an Oedipal Complex and the world would not be phallocentric (DeBeauvoir  699).

            Dworkin defined colonization as the acceptance of male priorities as our own. To free ourselves, we have to name it. We must first value ourselves and not expect to have male values get around to honoring us. Our socialization leaves us prone to guilt and realistic fear (131-132), to be indifferent to the plight of other women (134) and to inferiority, which justifies systemic sexual assault (136). If we don’t go forward with decolonization there’s rape, madness, forced pregnancy, prostitution, mutilation, battery, and murder (Dworkin 132). With what we face in our daily lives is it any wonder we question our sanity? Is it any wonder Dworkin refers to patriarchy as a war zone?

            Dworkin deals with normal everyday occurrences considered normal and so systematic they due to their commonality, don’t appear to be abuse (133). Moraga says we’re bleeding out of so many pores, so constantly that it’s now simply seen as “the way things are” (65). Allison said the world labeled what happened to her spanking; violent contempt for girls was so ordinary it was not seen as anything to complain about (55). One wonders whether therapists are any less likely to see abuse in any differently than anyone else?

            Moraga developed empathy for her mother’s oppression after coming out as a lesbian. She was then able to make profound connections with her mother’s silence; it reminded her that the poor, the uneducated and Chicana people are not free.  She compared silence to starvation. When we’re not physically starving we have the luxury of being aware of psychological and emotional starvation. Once this starvation is recognized other starvations can be seen if we are willing to make the connections. She says that lesbianism is also a poverty, like being brown, female or poor (Moraga 52).

            Women are afraid to see how they have also oppressed, and failed each other by taking the values of oppressors and using them against other women and ourselves. It’s frightening to admit how we have internalized “the man’s” (Moraga 57) words. As a lesbian feminist she ignored her own internal homophobia. She brought society’s hatred to bed with her, hating her lover and herself for loving one another. She never felt she women or man enough (Moraga 57). Women are never good enough just as they are.

            In an effort to uplift the black race, a culture of shame was created; any aspect of blackness that resembled mental pathology was kept hidden. This silence made it impossible to acknowledge the traumatic effects of white supremacy’s abuse and assault. There was a desperate need to deny and demonstrate to whites that racism had not wrecked psychological havoc (hooks 134). 

            In order to break the colonizing mentality, hooks says that blacks must focus on the development of black genius while engaging in the resistance that can address the psychological trauma (135). She asks that blacks with privilege not deny the existence of self-hatred or the profound psychological pain (hooks 136). The black community’s failure to address the mental wounds from racism encouraged the psychology of victimhood rather than finding ways to use rage and despair to empower and promote well being (hooks 137). Griffin adds to this conversation. There are no survivors who have not first admitted their victimization, if the “victim bandwagon” seems full it’s a “sign of a profound socio-cultural dis-ease,” not evidence of the weakness or masochistic nature of victims (Griffin  245). Griffin talks about racism and sexism from a white female perspective. The dominant “we” excludes so many people, it’s so easy for the excluded to swallow the hurt (Griffin 133). It’s heartening to blend these black and whites voices in common struggle.

            Griffin says “Girls learn to identify outside themselves, negating themselves”, because they’re taught to hate femaleness and to glorify maleness (79). Numerous forces within our culture work to remove a girl’s loyalty from herself and her mother over to patriarchy. She identifies one of the forces as the rock star socialization tool. Classic behavior of female fans: screaming, fainting, weakness, mobbing stage doors (waiting for others), and sexual submission represent caricatures of female traits (Griffin 79).

            Griffin spoke of peoples denial of other’s testimony to ensure that institutions that maintaining the horrors would be preserved (234). We deny horrendous truths because we fear they’ll crush us. We don’t have tools or frameworks to deal with such information, it’s too hard to bear (234). The self is made up of memory, some memories crumble it’s very make up (Griffin 234). I am left to wonder about the frameworks of mental health, have they been any better than the rest of society in facing truths it doesn’t want to know?

            Pharr explains how the Right gained power by placing wedges between existing societal faultlines of race, class, gender and sexuality and expanding them into larger divisions. Their growth due to ordinary citizens support of individual and institutional domination begins with belief in meritocracy – culture already provides a level playing field (11); since it’s assumed everyone has equal access, one’s failure is earned, deserved or merited, it’s the result of his/her innate qualities – not from  social or cultural structures. Thus some are superior and justified in effort to control (Pharr 11). Their obscene greed and luxury is supported by lay-offs, down-sizing, salary reductions, destruction of unions (Pharr 13).

            Politics of domination idealizes and promotes values of being separate, of being elite, of being responsible for only a small group of people. As Right practices them brings out not only separation, but deep social divisions, forced rivalry and mean spiritedness. Politics of liberation values of sharing power, leading a humane life responsible to and for one’s fellow humans and the earth (Pharr 87).

            Mohanty uses Relations of Ruling – to explain how systems of dominance function by setting up particular historically specific “relations of ruling” (Mohanty 13). Ruling is a complex of organized practices, interpenetrative of many sites of power (14). For instance, the British defined authority and legitimacy of difference rather than commonalties between ruler and natives. A historically specific notion said that the imperial ruler white male, was the self-disciplined protector of women and morals. The creation of the “English Gentleman” as natural legitimate ruler enabled to rule without actually exerting power – because everybody believed it (Mohanty 14).

            Pharr also adds to Mohanty’s arguments. The assumption of the superiority of rich, white, heterosexual, Christian men, is a given and provides them with the divine right to rule and dominate (Pharr 28). Economic distress, social chaos, and confusion give theocratic Right perfect opening to develop agenda of control. Conservative business interests serve Right by working for privatization, clearing way for church-dominated (formerly public) institutions that claim authority from a Christian God (Pharr 41). They both articulated that once the complex motions of oppression are in place within people’s minds the power is in the bag .Feminist stories definitely have the power to de-internalizing harmful ideologies.

4.      Help to identify times when the client was not dominated by the problem, when she managed to rebel, allowing access to alternative narratives which expand possibilities for being

            Mohanty suggests that we study women workers as subjects  who made choices out of their own agency, who have critical perspectives about  their situations and who have  come together to organize against their oppressors (29). She warns that writers should bring out voices “from within”  communities instead of  “for” communities (Mohanty 37). Third World women’s rebellion has expanded their possibilities for being that traditional mental health had not been connected with. Nor has traditional mental health been known to encourage activism.

5.      Find historical evidence that bolsters client is competence and shows how she has stood up to the problem. Point toward narratives of strength, competence and creativity. It’s vital that the therapist be genuinely curious about these stories

            Friedan demonstrates how mental health professionals were just like everyone else, they saw no other option for women in the mid-twentieth century than the vocation – housewife (26). They were actually complicit in telling women that “no other dream was possible” (Friedan 27). If therapists see only the same options that women themselves see as possible there would be no way for women to rewrite their stories, no way for therapists to challenge and support women in their evolution out of oppressive socialization that acted has a barrier to their spiritual growth and self-actualization. By helping women adjust to oppression they were acting as enforcers not healers.

            According to hooks, revolutionary mental health has not been placed on the militant agenda because black males writers have focused on conquering adversity, and have downplayed trauma (141-142). The traditional mental health system has rejected a political understanding of black suffering and has for the most part, left activism and radical politicization out of healing strategies (hooks 142).

            Masking your real identity, useful during severe apartheid when lives were at stake, is not a paradigm for social relations today. It undermines love and intimacy and values duplicity and lying. There has yet to be a collective development of resistance strategies to create healthy minds. Unattended psychological wounds breed learned helplessness and powerlessness. Without agency compulsive and addictive behaviors are promoted. If the realities of coping with black pain are not addressed, the root cause of genocidal addictions flourishes (hooks 143). Psychological pain gets in the way of liberation movements and life enhancing self-determination that would benefit all of society (hooks 144).

            Mohanty says state politics must be linked with everyday life. Third world women’s engagement with feminism, must be seen as historically specific and dynamic – not static, not frozen in time (6). It’s necessary to look at more than social indicators. All groups have their own internal alliances and divisions with class, religious, sexuality – unity is not automatic. There isn’t necessarily a logical connection with females and feminism, it mustn’t define people in terms of their problems or achievements in relation to free white liberal democracy – doing so removes them from history – freezing them in time (Mohanty 7).

            Third world women have rejected feminism label for their struggle due to cultural imperialism and its history of isms and homophobia. False homogeneous representation in media has led to suspicion (Mohanty 7). Mohanty cites Odim who says we should focus on feminism as philosophy, rather than liberal women’s rights (8). The meaning of the personal is political  is different to Third world feminism – economics underlie the public\private distinction. They are aware of the public being personally political. There is no private sphere for people of color other than what they manage to carve out in their hostile environment. Personal life is defined very differently than middle class whites (Mohanty 9).

            Mohanty suggests rewriting history based on specific location and history. She asks, how we extend a “politics of food” to the hungry? (10). History must be informed by experience of poor, previously written out of history. The significance of writing by third world women is producing knowledge for ourselves. The major analytic difference between Western white feminism and third world women is the focus on gender (11). That came out of the focus on white heterosexual women’s proximity to white males. Relationship of women of color with white men is medicated by state institutions (Mohanty 12).

            Mohanty relates Russo’s feeling that because of feminism’s historical focus only on gender, it’s now crucial that white women respond with outrage about racism (12). In the past it’s been assumed that our consciousness as women had nothing to do with race, class, nationality, sexuality, or nation, but gender and race are relational (12).  We must rewrite all our history, not just that of people of color ( Mohanty 13).

            One tidbit of warning about genuine curiosity, imagine Gloria Steinem as the client and Pat Robertson as the therapist. He might be genuinely curious, but the therapeutic value is likely to be lacking. One aspect of the narrative therapy that was left out is how the therapist interprets the stories. I think this is the most vital aspect of any therapeutic method. No doubt any method could facilitate liberation if the therapist’s world view allowed it to.

6.      Speculate about future possibilities for the strong competent person who emerged from the        interview

            DeBeauvior has a vision of eventual economic and social equality. She foresees this leading to a metamorphosis within (702). Dworkin speculated the effects of a twenty four hour truce without rape (162 ). A world without rape certainly poses the possibility for stronger more competent women to emerge.

            Moraga says that what oppressors fear isn’t difference, but similarity. The actual fear is that he will discover the same aches and longings within himself as these he oppresses. His guilt threatens to immobilize him (56). Kingston’s white ghosts that depicted fear and alienation in Woman Warrior serve to show how very radical this image can be (Moraga 56). Even speculating about changing oppressive images offers promise.  

            Moraga warns that unless feminists deal with the fear and resistance of each other, we’ll all starve. We need each other to form a real power collective (58-59). Third World feminism is about feeding people in all their hungers” (Moraga 132). Mohanty’s context of struggle is also a powerfully uniting image (7).

            Moraga wondered what our relationships with each other and our sexuality might look like if we didn’t feel have to worry about violent male backlash (136). Sexual repression within Latinas is manipulative and controlling – it “… ravages the psyche, rather than satisfying the yearning body and heart (Moraga 137). Allison agrees and says that sexual repression warps desire and hurts all people (142).

            Mohanty places third world women in a way that unites their struggle. She provided an image of the “imaginary community” (4) similar to the lesbian nation in Stein’s title and to hook’s image of beloved community (256). “Horizontal Comradeship” – non-hierarchical political rather than biological or cultural base for alliance (Mohanty 4). It’s not about color or sex, it’s the way we conceive of differences. Mohanty gave us a vision of unity, like weaving the political threads of oppression together (4).

 7.     Since the client’s problem developed within the context of her life, it’s important to make      arrangements for the client’s context to provide support for her new story development

            Interestingly enough the first seven aspects of the framework was developed from an article by Bill O’Hanlon (1994) called, “The Third Wave.” The techniques are used to facilitate this process is called externalization. In externalizing problems it is hoped that one develops the habit of seeing the problem as separate from the person. Then the therapist helps the client to create a meaningful story about standing up to the problem. The purpose of this externalizing is to: decrease unproductive conflict between people, undermine the sense of failure, pave the way for people to cooperate and unite in their struggle and to escape its influence, to open new possibilities for action against the problem and its influence, and present options for dialogue rather than monologue. The therapist must fiercely believe in the power and potential of stories and language to promote healing.

            Mohanty provides insight into how we might unite ideologically. The concept of Third world women is a political constituency, not a biological or sociological one. With her image she hopes to instill viable oppositional alliances within their common context of struggle, not along racial or color lines. Our political relation to oppressive structures is our common bond (Mohanty 7).

            Our vision of inclusion is built on the future, not the past; we are creating that which has not been done before (Pharr 83). We are working against years of society fixing on wrong stars; the nation has built institutions and policies from fundamental lies that certain groups of people are inferior to others (Pharr 85). Our challenge to change hearts and minds, develop empathy with and sympathy for others and help each other discover inextricable links for our common good and survival on planet (88). Pharr proposes a new definition of human rights to include: food, shelter, employment, safety, education, and health (122).

8.   Externalization of the problem

            We have all internalized oppressive imagery that portrays darkness and femaleness as evil. Moraga says that this is how the oppressor externalizes his fears; he projects them into the bodies of women (56).

            Woolf attempts to externalize poverty by having her audience consider poverty from the stance of, … the damage that poverty inflicts upon mind and body … (Woolf 92) and later, brings up the psychological value of poverty to women who lack enough food to eat (Woolf 115). She aptly makes the point that poverty is not simply a question of being viewed as lower class, but a moral question about how the oppressive system effects human psychology.

            Our movement is unpopular because it requires that we feel pain, which may mean the need to seek therapy (Dworkin 138). Yes when the pain is exposed, externalized from within the subconsciousness of women it causes pain for all who face it.

            Another important aspect of narrative therapy is the therapists intention,  the questions the therapist asks are very important. The goal is for clients to rewrite their life stories, to look within their story for times when they were triumphant over their situation and to continually reinforce their times of resistance to the oppressive problem. My impression, so far, of narrative therapy is that it holds the possibility to encourage women to dream about alliance between their own plural selves and with women all over the world. However, it remains to be seen what the intentions among therapists will be in their questioning – it could make all the difference in the world.

9.      Intention

            Woman probably never recover from rape, battery or incest (139). The psychiatric community has defended the fathers of incest survivors, along with the legal system, organized religion and the community in general (Dworkin 140).

            Some statistics Dworkin offers questions societal intentions: seventy percent of female prostitutes are incest survivors (147), half of married women have been battered, every three minutes a woman is raped, and every eighteen seconds a woman beaten (163). She rightly says, “That’s not life, that’s war (141). Feminists listening to women is how the world found out about incest and rape being endemic (149). Listening to stories is obviously not enough to occur between a women and a traditionally thinking therapists. It makes me wonder whether or not listening to the women’s stories can ever be enough within the context of such a history. I want to be hopeful, but as a woman – do I dare?

10.   The Questions We Ask

            In the first class of fundamentals of counseling the teacher impressed on us that it’s the questions that we ask that make all the difference, not necessarily the answers we receive.

            Dworkin says that the women’s movement creates ways of understanding the world women live in and creates it’s ideology out of that knowledge. Feminism is a “process of finding out  which questions to ask and asking those questions” (Dworkin 137).

            Griffin says instead of asking how many women were raped in a specific time period, we should ask how many men raped and why do men do this (149)? Pharr also addressed the importance of the questions we ask, when wife beaten we say, “a wife was beaten by her husband” rather than a “husband beat his wife”. This diverts attention away from the perpetrator (32).These are great examples of how big a difference which questions we ask can make. It’s easy to see that women risk their very souls when sexist therapists (colonized men or women) control the questioning. Women have sought treatment after being raped but we haven’t done much treating or moralizing about the rapist’s behavior.

            Postmodern therapy also uses the story metaphor to describe its methods of helping. It seeks to find meaning in the experiential lives of people. People create stories about themselves that include parts that other people have created about them such as, gender, race, class and sexuality. It does not hope to unveil these truths. Instead it hopes to unveil “taken-for-granted” truths that the client may not be aware of (Ross 1997).

11. The stories we tell

            It is my belief that the authors read for this class have done their own therapy, creating their own new stories that pose alternative solutions to our different but equal oppressive states. Women have historically gone to a disproportionate number of white male therapists whose values are in sync with patriarchal notions of domination. What therapy is now attempting to do for the individual, women are globally doing for themselves without mental health professionals.

            I will hopefully form clearer ideas taken from the authors stories that I might use to facilitate steps toward the alternative visions they offer. This paper will hopefully provide evidence about just how uncrazy women really are. If we listen enough to each others stories, if we follow the authors visions, I think I could be out of a counseling career!

            Feminism has been therapeutic for me and since I believe that most of the problems that humans face are actually caused or exacerbated by oppressive ideologies, the authors I have outlined prove my point that feminism and anti-oppressive/liberation psychology can help us to free our minds and hearts.

            I have certainly been deeply touched by the author’s truths. I believe the spirit is even deeper than the psyche and it’s our spirits that have been harmed by oppressive ideologies. Trying to heal only the psyche isn’t enough, doesn’t go deep enough, within and beyond the psyche. That’s how I think traditional therapy has failed to help women and people in general; they might help people to face problems and to cope with them, but they have not helped them enough with resistance and revolution.

            There’s bone chilling and spirit chilling. Oppression chills the spirit. It’s as if our bodies, our physicality were our first superficial layer of self, then the inner, the psyche that also has our outer personality and also our inner psyche that is vulnerable to socialization and internalization of harmful ideologies, and then beyond all that is our spirit. Spirit that is intrinsically intermingled with our genetic cellular selves. A part of our collective memory throughout time. Here evils like slavery and the holocaust are imprinted for future generations to “know.” We can overcome the evil by delving deep beyond our psyches and sharing our stories that tell of our wounded spirits.

            As a tenth grade student Moraga understood images of the holocaust before they were shown to her (73), an example of “rehearsed racial memory” (75). Rehearsed in the flesh of those who have suffered in like ways. Her images are telling, … deep long tears that come when you have held your breathe for centuries (Moraga 94). What is in our flesh, in our genetic structure, also becomes embedded within our spirits. Here is where true healing needs to take place within all of humanity. This is perhaps beyond the scope of any therapy. Therapy will do best to assist in turning our internalized rage into a collective activism.

            Woolf saw two good reasons why psychology can’t be left in the hands of specialists: first, fear and anger prevent freedom within the private home (129). Secondly, fear and anger get in the way of real freedom in the public world, together they play a part in actually causing war (Woolf 130). Woolf connects the private and public worlds to illustrate how the negative feelings there play a role in causing the very problem (war) that she’s asked to respond to. Woolf ‘s telling actual biographical stories and connecting them with the psychobabble of her time makes her arguments undeniable.

            What’s more healing to the human spirit than justice, equality and alliance?  It has been said that the truth will set you free, Moraga  said it’s our personal truths that touch others (vi). Telling your personal truths is also a moral and courageous act; it’s a form of rebellion that can encourage others to do the same (Moraga 177).  So hopefully if we are open to be touched and if we reach out to touch, together we can achieve freedom.

            Oprah Winfrey recently talked about what it’s like to read a good story, “It’s like going inside somebody’s life and getting to feel the interior of their lives” (1997).

Solutions Posed from the Context of Struggle

            Writing is therapeutic for Allison. She developed the ability to craft truths out of storytelling, in a world that lies, in a world where we lie and where lying became habit (55). When she writes she makes up her own rules and discovers her own tools (56). Writing allowed her characters to sneak up on the truth and figure it out slowly. Through writing things out she discovered where her real fears were among the layers of hidden lies and secrets. Self -discovery is what mattered, not publishing. Her imagination shaped what she knows and reveals what she really fears and desires (90). Writing is revolutionary, it will show who you are and can change the world (Allison 91). Outrage and despair and tenacious determination propelled her into feminist activism. Her goal became shaping a life and a literature that came out of truth (167). Our struggles necessitate our learning our own history (172) and developing a new literature true to our own visions (168). “Fiction is a piece of truth that turns lies into meaning” (Allison 175). Allison says when she writes she sink down into herself, her memories, dreams, shames, and horrors. She  answers questions asked only by her (Allison 179).

            Allison’s goal is, …to take the reader by the throat, break her heart, and heal it again (180). She fears finding a monstrous self, the one she was told was in her (180-181). Writing gets beyond denial, reveals fear and heals the writer and offers the potential to also heal the reader (181). It’s important to know the cultural myths about your identity so that you can facilitate your survival and positive self-image (198). Writing helped her to relinquish dependency on heterosexual definitions of who she was (Allison 199). If this isn’t narrative self-therapy what is?

            For Allison, discovering her sexual pleasures was a miracle (214), along with not killing herself from the despair of being told she was, “ too lesbian for feminism, too reformant for radical feminism, too sexually perverse for respectable lesbianism and too damn stubborn for the women’s gay, and queer revolutions” (215). She says that sooner or later if you keep pushing yourself, you begin writing stories out of more than rage, and they begin to tear you apart even as you write them. Oddly enough, that tearing open makes possible a healing, not only in the writer but in the world as well. There was no meaning in what her step-father did to her, but the stories she has made out of it do have meaning (218). Tell the truth. Write the story you were always afraid to tell. I swear to you there is magic in it, and if you show yourself naked to me, I’ll be naked for you. It will be our covenant (219-220). I need you to write mean stories that honor our dead, to help them survive (Allison 220).This is real feminist narrative therapy. Women should decide what’s therapeutic for them.

            hooks says that the mental health system must address the African-American psyche and link psychological recovery through political awareness of the harm inflicted from institutionalized systems of domination. We cannot rely on the existing structures. Black women writers such as Toni Morrison and Alice Walker address issues of psychic trauma and the interconnectedness of race, class and gender in their literature (hooks 138-139). Despite the reluctance of society at large and black males, there is a need for personal histories to break silence and stopping deferring to black male reluctance in dealing with psychology pain (hooks 140). Stories that refuse to deny have the potential to heal.

            hooks regrets that there is still no collection of material within psychology that progressively addresses black mental health and that studies the connection between victimization and mental disorders (hooks 141). Obviously this fact serves to maintain white supremacy and sabotage liberation.

            hooks says that white and black women will have to be willing to undergo processes of education for critical consciousness raising that supports changes in thinking and behavior; they must see that competition fosters distrust. Lesbian writings has highlighted the tensions in interracial bonding more than any other body of literature (hooks 223). Lesbian literature may hold great insights for the mental health establishment.

            We can’t blame patriarchy if they let racist\sexist thinking shape our relationships with one another; we must examine our own xenophobia (hooks 224). If mental health is to help blacks and women to do more than cope with oppression they need to absorb the literature of truth.

            Love is the antithesis of domination and subjugation; lets’ allow the longing to love to radicalize our politics. Beloved community formed by the affirmation of difference (hooks 265).

            Many whites passively accept that racism is inherent despite instinctive knowledge that tells them its wrong. If whites accept racism as “natural” they won’t be able to see their complicity in the problem (hooks 270). Psychology should strive to de-internalize this notion, seek to externalize it and use it to get beyond racist thinking in white clients too.

            Griffin is an example of white women examining whiteness. White people have demonized black people as “savage”, inferior, and subhuman; this justified their injustice treatment. They were demonized as “primitive,” “not worthy of study.” Both savage and primitive contained a sexual meaning too. This demonization of blacks was used by whites to relieve their anxieties about culture, society, and sexuality (37). White people fear being found guilty so they ignore racial specificity (230). She gives racism the apt metaphor of “original sin” (231) and claims that, “Racism: the supreme repressed memory of white America” (244). To look into whiteness we must be willing to give up our fantasy about innocence (Griffin 231). If white people in general demonize blacks, then the mental health profession has too. It makes one wonder if within the reality of our racist culture blacks could have benefited from a system run by whites?

            Griffin informs us that when we say things like, “I don’t see you as black at all” or “Let’s not talk about gender, let’s talk about humanity” in reality we are asking to deny, to forget the pain of the past (246). She reminds us beautifully that -“We are after the truth, the whole truth, the white light itself – which, as every objective, detached, apolitical physicist knows, is composed of a whole spectrum of colors” (Griffin 181).

            Griffin serves as an example by teaching African American literature with the goal of destroying harmful myths about black people and get whites to look into their whiteness. She does the same for women by teaching women’s studies. Griffin is doing for education what someone needs to do for the field of psychology.

            In her introduction: Cartographies of Struggle Third World Women and the Politics of Feminism, Chandra Mohanty redrew and broadened our conceptual maps of world through the voices of third world women (3). A nineteen nineties world definable only in relational terms; relational to lines of power and resistance that divide us up by gender, class, race, sexuality and nation. The assumed pivotal global center being the United States and Europe. Collected resistance and revolution has led to a consolidation of third world female politics (Mohanty 2).

            Mohanty points out that anthropology “spoke for” third world women (32). She sees scholarship is a form of resistance and rule. The framework of organized movements is not the only way to understand feminist struggles – political consciousness and self-identification are also crucial. She suggests writing can increase self and collective consciousnesses through life story narratives (Mohanty 33). Over the last twenty years (34) publishing houses have been doing Third World women’s work, thus creating a space for struggle and contesting reality. She used the example of Narratives of resistance in Palestinian writings on childhood – despite their forbidden nature (Mohanty 35).

            Mohanty sees the need for us to speak from within rather than for our communities (37), in order to bridge the gap between public and private, beyond the helpless solitude of Western feminism; since the rise in capitalism it’s more than men we must address. We should adopt the notion of agency through the logic of opposition not identification. Resistance is encoded in remembering and of writing (38). She suggests we remember against the grain, to rethink sociality itself and to rethink the personal is political taking seriously the challenge of collective agency (Mohanty 39).

            Another thing I learned in my counseling class is that there is a measure of feeling better just in telling your story to someone who really listens. If this is applied to the current trend in women of all cultures, sexualities, races, classes and religious affiliations telling their honest stories, storytelling just might be a natural evolutionary vehicle for self healing and revolution. However, storytelling alone won’t lead to psychic or spiritual healing and revolution – it’s how we listen to each other that can make a difference.

            Women’s pain has frequently led them to sexist therapists. They go for help because of the oppression they live with and they are treated by  oppressors. Sounds like the relations of ruling  Mohanty (13) talked about. Sexist therapy maintains oppression! What are the psychological effects likely here? Can women hope to resist in this system? Could it be that by sharing our stories about our true selves we might be healing ourselves, developing our own preventative mental health for the future? Perhaps it’s been women’s stories about rape, incest and abuse over the last ten to fifteen years that have actually led to the development of this therapeutic style. Reading these authors has been social narrative therapy, self-therapy from within the contexts – without a therapist – with other caring women.

            Griffin spoke a lot about Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. It makes me think that perhaps, like Dorothy,  women have had the power within themselves all the time. I recently gave my old computer to my seventy nine year old mother because she wants to write stories, stories about her life. She surprised me by saying that she always wanted to write stories, but she just never did. Suddenly I saw a memory in my mind of my mother saying that before when I was a very little girl. She must have had it within her  all the time.     

            I never had a creative writing class until college. Knowing the power and healing that can come out of telling stories it might be a good idea to teach creative writing to grammar school children. There could be special programs developed that take children and their stories around to other schools to share them with other kids, like schools do with spelling bees or sports.

            Finally … the most basic theory of feminist ethics is that you’re not talking morally unless you include people’s oppression in the discourse. Unless therapists look at oppression and listen with ears sensitized to the need for activism and liberation only coping will occur, not healing. Unless the field of mental health addresses liberation and activism it is practicing unethically. I think they have a moral obligation to use what they know about psychology to help eliminate oppression.

Work Cited

Allison, Dorothy. 1994. Skin: Talking About Sex, Class & Literature. Ithaca NY: Firebrand Books. 

DeBeauvoir, Simone. 1949. The Second Sex.

Dworkin, Andrea. Letters From a War Zone: Writings 1976-1989. E.P. Dutton: New York.

Friedan, Betty. 1983. The Feminine Mystique. Dell: New York.

Griffin, Gail B. 1995. Seasons of the Witch: Border Lines, Marginal Notes. Pasadena CA: Triliogy Books.  

hooks, bell. 1995. Killing Rage: Ending Racism. New York: Henry Holt & Co.

Moraga, Cherrie. 1983.  Loving in the War Years. Boston: south end press.

O’Hanlon, Bill. (1994). “The Third Wave.” The Family Networker. November/December.

Pharr, Suzanne. 1996. “In the Time of the Right: Reflections on Liberation.” Berkeley: Chardon Press.

Ross, Al. 1997. Class, Fundamentals of Counseling. National-Louis University. Wheeling, IL.

Stein, Arlene. 1993. Ed. Sisters, Sexperts, Queers: Beyond the Lesbian Nation. NY: Penguin Books.

Winfrey, Oprah. 1997. ABC Broadcasting Company, Channel Seven, Chicago, IL. Feb 28.

Woolf, Virginia. 1938. Three Guineas.  Harcourt Brace: San Diego.

Lesbian Interracial Relationships: Getting Beyond Differences?

Pat Anderson 

Divided Sisters: African American and European American Women

MLS, 468, Spring 1997

Instructor: Midge Wilson

Abstract

            Few relationships are as complex as those between Black and White women in lesbians relationships. In many senses, they “have it all.” They may embody issues of race, class, ethnicity, and religiosity, as well  the lesbian butch-femme identities, and individual personalities of the women involved. The challenges they face have much to teach those of us struggling to de-internalize the multiple societal barriers that keep us estranged from one another. Society as a whole could be served by engaging in public discourse and reflective thought in regard to the experiences of these women. In this paper, I include perspectives taken from interviews with interracial lesbian couples, American On-Line survey results, current literature on the topic, and insights into how therapists might become informed and sensitized to the unique struggles that interracial lesbian couples face in forming such relationships. I will also touch lightly on the moral implications involved from a feminist ethical perspective. I hope to shed light on what life is like for lesbians in interracial relationships, and  what can society as a whole can learn from their experiences. Finally, as a future feminist counselor, I am also interested in how I what I might learn from these women that will enhance my ability to help them and all future clients.

Lesbian Interracial Relationships: Getting Beyond Differences?

            When lesbians become romantically involved with women of different colors, cultures, classes, and ethnicities, they not only face the challenge of getting along with one another as human beings, they also bring with them multiple dimensions of our society’s issues with difference. As a result, lesbians involved in romantic interracial relationships, face problems in “living happily ever after” that leap far beyond what a White or Black, heterosexual, working or middle class couple could even imagine dealing with. It’s common knowledge that heterosexual couples fail quite often at “living happily ever after.” The bridges that need to be gaped among these couples is complex and profound.

            One major difference between homosexual and heterosexual communities is that lesbians and gay men have organizations to bring different racial and ethnic groups together for purposes of support and socializing. A lesbian group that I’m familiar with is called Women of All Colors and Cultures Together. The gay male counterpart is called Men of All Colors Together. 

            According to Midge Wilson and Kathy Russell (1996), interracial sexuality is more common between lesbians than between heterosexuals. Just being a lesbian challenges a major taboo. Once you’ve challenged one major taboo challenging others isn’t as big a deal (Wilson & Russell, 1996). I interviewed seven women who are in or who have been involved with women of another race. I wanted to know the stories of their lives together. I started the in person interviews by asking them about their experiences with race as they were growing up and progressed on to family and friend issues, how they did or did not discuss their differences, and how they perceived their differences. I wondered what it was about them or their life experiences that allowed them to love across the societal gap.    

Annie & Pat

            Annieand Pat are a forty-something year old mixed-race couple who have been together for eighteen years. Annie is White and Pat is Black. When I initially called to ask about doing the interview Annie said Pat would probably talk to me about it. She didn’t know what to say about it. When Pat called me back she said she would love to talk about it. Before I could begin to explain the interview she asked, “Why is it when our group gets together I’m always the only Black” (Pat, 1997)? I sensed she thought I might have an answer. 

            I asked them about what they learned as kids about racism. Annie remembers a neighbor, affectionately called “Nigger Marie” who, to Annie’s mother shock, took her food out on the back porch and placed it on newspaper, the first time she had dinner at their house. She told Annie’s shocked mother that that’s what other White folks expected of her. Annie still speaks to Marie today (Annie, 1997). Pat said that some Whites have Blacks eat on paper plates and use plastic silverware in their homes (Pat, 1997). 

            Annie’smother once took ina homeless Black woman named Rebecca.  When she began to have trouble breathing and wouldn’t go the hospital, Annie’s mom called the police. Her mother was shocked because the police assumed that a Black person would be kept in the basement, never in the bedroom. By the time the police got to Rebecca was dead (Annie, 1997).  Annie’s mother taught her a precious lesson about interracial family values. 

            Pat’s mother worked for a White family. She cleaned a house where the parents lived on the first floor and the daughter and son-in-law lived on the second floor. She was allowed to eat with the parents, but not with the daughter and son-in-law. She learned it was possible to hold very different race values, even within one household (Pat, 1997). 

            Bringing White friends home was normal for Pat. She was with mostly White people until fourteen and was one of four Blacks that began integration in her high school. She didn’t see differences between White and Black families, or people in general, until she was in her twenties. She hung around with a racially mixed group in college and didn’t feel different within her group, they all just did things together (Pat, 1997). Both Annie and Pat deny being raised with prejudice or racism (Annie & Pat, 1997), an amazing feat in our racist society. Stories like these leave indelible impressions upon a child’s mind. Impressions that could be viewed as seeds planted that would allow for the blooming of a loving interracial relationship.

            Annie and Pat say they’ve never discussed race and still don’t (Annie & Pat, 1997). Annie says that she and her son don’t see color so it wasn’t mentioned in their home. The first time Annie realized Pat was Black was when a kid called her nigger lover (Annie, 1997). Patsays there’s no bad word for Whites that comes near to being equivalent to the “n” word. Whites can save it as a stored weapon to use if the need arises (Pat, 1997).

            Pat says the children in Annie’s family didn’t call her by name, until very recently they just called her auntie. Within Black culture you don’t call someone aunt or uncle if they’re not really related. Pat knows this is not a custom with Whites, but in the South calling someone auntie without attaching their name is degrading. Annie’s Aunt Teresa and her nephew have repeatedly told Pat, “You’re too nice to be Black” (Pat, 1997).

            Pat has never felt accepted by Annie’s sister Tina. But she was recently surprised when Tina went out of her way to see that Pat got one of the holy cards from Annie’s father funeral (Pat, 1997). Annie’s niece Georgia sent a Christmas card every year for eighteen years to Annie and her son, but not to Pat. Pat says it’s Georgia’s issue, not hers. She has no desire to get back at her. Annie’s sister Rose (Georgia’s mother) is Pat’s boss at work. Pat says it’s Rose’s problem if she’s racist. She’s not uncomfortable about Rose’s racism, she pretends and says she accepts Rose. Pat loves Annie’s cousins, but they don’t talk about race (Pat, 1997). How sad that bits of acceptance took sixteen or seventeen years to come out.

            Annie said her neighbors initially didn’t speak to them after Pat moved in, but after awhile they did speak. There have always been Mexicans in the area, but there’s more Blacks now (Annie, 1997). Pat said they got a lot of negativity from other lesbians about their relationship lasting because of race. At the time they were dating there were a lot fights going on in the lesbian bars between Hispanic and White women. This was confusing because many of these women were dating each other. When Black and Whites were dating it was more likely that the Black woman would be attacked, claiming she was “selling out”. When Hispanics were dating White women the White women were more likely to be accused or attacked for being in the relationship (Pat, 1997).

            Pat said Black women didn’t understand her interracial relationship. Black culture doesn’t understand, they think you have to give up something. Pat is very strong about not giving up friends at the beginning of relationships, as lesbians frequently do (Pat, 1997). Pat came out to her mother once and her mother simply told her not to tell her father. They don’t talk about her being gay (Pat, 1997).   

            Compared to White lesbians, Black lesbians face even greater hate within their communities, as a result they need a great deal of support from one another (Wilson & Russell, 1996). As I see it, Pat has had to given up something of vital importance – other Black women. It could  be argued that  Black women are additionally oppressed when they focus their lives within White culture because of interracial relationships.  

        Pat has only been with White women. In nineteen seventy two there weren’t many Black women in the lesbian bars. Before she met Annie,Pat had only dated one Black women and they were never sexual. One White woman did break up with her because of racial problems. Pat’s first lover was a White woman, Arlene (the same one I interviewed, they’re good friends today), who she met in college. She dated White women because that’s just who she met (Pat, 1997). When I tried to discuss sexual experience with Annie she said laughingly that Pat is her, “first and last Black woman” (Annie, 1997).

        Pat recently talked with her a very old friend Connie, who is  White, about race. She said, “White people just don’t get it about race.” At times she might not want to go somewhere because of race, but she doesn’t say anything. She’s in a weird kind of spot because she talks back now that she’s older. If she knows there will be someone in a group who might say something racist she has to struggle with being nice for her friends and not say anything. Her recent instinct is to talk back, but it’s a touchy situation. She feels if people are nervy enough to ask her rude questions and say rude things about her race they should accept her response. She’s never really comfortable, unless she knows people personally, otherwise you feel like you’re walking on eggs. Her partner  and her best friend Connie don’t understand how she feels when she’s the only Black person in a social setting (Pat, 1997).

            Perhaps because Annie doesn’t see race and because Pat feels that White women “just don’t get it,” Annie and Pat didn’t come up with any advantages in being in an interracial relationship. Another aspect involved is the butch-femme identity issue. Annie seems to be the stereotypical soft butch, she’s more quiet and reserved. Like many husbands I’ve encountered, when I initially called she deferred the issue of talking to Pat. Pat seems very femme. She talks constantly and openly about her feelings. I wonder about personal and political power issues that might be involved here too. 

Dawn & Shirley

            Dawn and Shirley have been together for twenty seven years. Despite still living together, they have considered themselves broken up for about a year now. They still live together for financial reasons, they own a home together and Dawn is living on disability (Dawn & Shirley, 1997). Dawn is White, in her early fifties and grew up in Italian, Polish, and Mexican neighborhood. Her father had Black friends, but spoke openly about his racism. Her brother has adopted her father’s racism. Dawn’s mom’s best friend, Eleanor Harris, was Black and was at their house all the time. Dawn once had a “Black Angel” who supported her when she was the only White nurse’s aid at a psychiatric facility for the retarded. She described herself as a humanitarian (Dawn, 1997). 

            ShirleyisBlack, in her mid-forties and came from a small Black farm town in Tennessee. She remembers being friends with some Whites, but didn’t go to grammar school with Whites. When she was five she spent an entire summer playing with a local White girl. When  the girls’ father returned to the family, the girl told her, “I can’t play with you anymore cause you’re a nigger.” Most of Shirley’s experience was with Black people until her freshman year of high school when she was bussed to a White school, which was extremely difficult (Shirley, 1997).

            Dawn and Shirley have only spoken about race where their families were concerned. They’ve not spoken to their families about race or about being lesbians (Dawn & Shirley, 1997). Dawn has always felt a kinship with Blacks. She deals with people individually (Dawn, 1997). Shirleyfelt a kinship with Whites too, but says she’s very shy and people have always come to her. Who ever approached her was pretty much OK with her (Shirley, 1997). (Shirley had a hard time contributing to this interview because Dawn was much a more assertive speaker).

            Shirley didn’t meet any of Dawn’s family for about three to four years because they feared their reaction. Interracial issues weren’t discussed. Dawn hasn’t seen most of her family over the last twenty seven years and says, “I don’t give a damn.” Shirley was easily accepted by Dawn’s mother and step-father. Dawn’s mother loved Shirley and said so on her death bed (Dawn, 1997).

            Last summer Dawn reconnected with one of her sisters after being estranged for eight years. She visited her in Ohio. Dawn invited her to their home, but she admitted that she wouldn’t be comfortable staying there because Shirley was Black. While at her sister’s Dawn had an encounter with her previously estranged brother Rich who had taken over her father’s role as “head bigot”. He asked her, “Are there a lot of niggers in Chicago”? Despite being very angry, she maintained her cool, and used her tongue to slice his cruelty to bits. She felt very powerful telling him never to say racist things to her again. She knew she was successful because he shut up the rest of the visit (Dawn, 1997). 

            During last summer’s visit her sister asked if she was gay. She admitted that she was and her sister said the family always knew (Dawn, 1997). I reminded Dawn that when I first met them I used the word lesbian in their house and she got up and closed all the windows. I pointed out the change in her attitude and she said after surviving two brain surgeries she thinks differently about being who she really is (Dawn, 1997).  

            Despite Shirley’s family knowing that she’s lived with Dawn for twenty five years, she’s not told them she’s gay. She’s waiting for them to ask her about it, when they ask she’ll know they’re ready to know. I suggested that they might be doing the same thing. She smiled and agreed ( Shirley, 1997).

            Dawn worried a great deal about what would people think of her relationship with Shirley. She was very afraid they wouldn’t accept Shirley, so to be sure Shirley wouldn’t be hurt by them, she dropped her friends. Many years later when she reunited with one of her best friends the woman asked Dawn, “Why didn’t you give me the opportunity to accept Shirley?” After finally getting to know Shirley, the woman felt she had missed out on being friends with her all these years (Dawn, 1997). 

            When Shirley moved to Chicago from Tennessee she didn’t have any friends and since Dawn was her first woman lover, she didn’t know any lesbians either. Shirley regrets that they didn’t have had the advantage of developing friends from many cultures. They had only a very small group of friends, leaving them very isolated with walls around them all these years (Shirley, 1997).

            Shirley was Dawn’s first Black woman lover (Dawn, 1997). Dawn is Shirley’s first female lover (Shirley, 1997). Dawn brought up the fact that because she was Shirley’s boss when they met and because she was twelve years older, today their relationship might be labeled sexual harrassment (Dawn, 1997). 

        At some point during the interview Dawn said that she made the decisions while Shirley sat around looking good (Dawn, 1997). A week later in a phone conversation with Shirley, she revealed her anger at Dawn for saying this and for monopolizing the interview (Shirley, 1997). Dawn was also in a position of power due to her White privilege, Shirley’s lack of  friends for support, it being Shirley’s first lesbian experience, and because Dawn was much more assertive. Dawn also appears to be stereotypically butch.

            LaJaunessee

            LaJaunessee is a Black lesbian in her forties who has dated several White women. Her first memory of racism was when her grandmother referred the insurance man as “Peckerwood”. She has no idea what this means, but she knew it was derogatory toward White men. This was the first time she became aware of any conflict between Whites and Blacks. She also learned that Whites always take Blacks money. Her grandmother had worked for White families who told her, “niggers don’t use the front door, they go to the back.” She has many memories of being called “nigger” by White children and adults alike (LaJaunessee, 1997).

        LaJaunessee talked about race in some of her relationships with White women. She and one White women watched racial things on television and then talked about it. She told her White lover what she went through being Black, the woman’s response was, “that’s awful” (LaJaunessee, 1997). She‘s also experienced covert racism with White lovers. For example, when one White woman she was dating couldn’t find her watch, she had a very strong feeling that her lover thought she took it. She doubts that she would have felt suspected her had her lover not been White. She also recalls walking by a Laundromat with a White lover who told her that it had been robbed by Black man. She thought to herself, “Why not a man, just a man robbed the laundromat (LaJaunessee, 1997)?

        LaJaunessee says she only brought White friends and Black lovers around her family because they’re not OK about interracial dating. There are other gay family members and when a male cousin dated a transsexual her family spoke negatively about him when she wasn’t around (LaJaunessee, 1997).

            Her adult daughter is OK with her interracial relationships. She’s been around her activism in their home for years. She always finds something to talk about with White women (LaJaunessee, 1997).

            She wasn’t allowed around the family of her second White lover, she was only brought to her home when the sister she lived with was gone (LaJaunessee, 1997). She had been to the third White lover’s home in Highland Park, but  didn’t meet her children. The woman said she was delaying LaJauneesse’s meeting her children because her last few relationships were brief and she didn’t want the children getting attached and then they break up. This woman never went to her home on the South side. She invited her to one of her family get togethers, but the White woman said, “Is our relationship ready for meeting family”? She felt this was about racism, not about rushing their relationship. She did meet this woman’s parents. She described her mother as loving, but said her father couldn’t look at her. This woman’s family did know they were lesbians (LaJaunessee, 1997).

            LaJaunesseesays sex was only fair with other Black women. They sort of take sex for granted, they think well, “that’s what you’re supposed to do.” The last Black woman she was in a relationship with had been sexually abused and had a real fear of intimacy. The sex was “OK,” but she wasn’t as affectionate as White women. She wonders if it was a result of the abuse. Another Black woman she was with was also sexually abused. She had a problem of severe jealousy. Two of the White women she’s been with were also sexually abused ( LaJaunessee, 1997). 

        After sleeping in her house with one of her White women lovers for the first time, LaJaunessee awoke to hear the woman open her eyes and ask, “is my car still out there?” (LaJaunessee, 1997). 

            She loves intimacy with White women. Sex is great with White women because they’re more appreciative of the pleasures. White women can come more often than Black women, so, “it’s an ego thing for me.” She goes into relationships with White women with a positive attitude, but racism always gets in the way ( LaJaunessee, 1997). 

            The first White woman she slept with was a civil rights activist. After the first time they slept together she realized that the White woman was thinking sex, and she was thinking relationship. Somewhere along the way the White woman did came to a point of also wanting a relationship, but by then she had changed and it wasn’t possible for her anymore ( LaJaunessee, 1997).  

            All her romantic relationships with White women were based on sex. Despite the fact that she describes herself as “Super butch,” it was always the White women who went after her. Two of the White women were femme, and one was androgynous ( LaJaunessee, 1997).

            A White women she had a one night stand with told her to “wear something African” to the formal dinner benefit they were to meet at. She wore a black tie and tux. When the woman saw her she said, “that’s not African!” She’s not sure why the woman was disappointed in her not dressing African, but she speculates that the sexual charge had something to do with race. It’s painful to know about these racial differences with White women. Despite knowing that these relationships will never work, she’s lusting after a White woman right now. The advantage in interracial relationships is developing a better understanding other another culture (LaJaunessee, 1997).

        LaJaunessee says it’s good having White women as friends. As long as the relationship stays friends it’s OK. She belongs to a lesbian studies group where they frequently talk openly about race. It’s good to dialogue about race. She has learned that racism is a barrier between White and Black women being sexual. She is able to become involved romantically with White women, after having painful experiences with White people, because she judges people individually (LaJaunessee, 1997). 

Arlene

            Arlene is a White lesbian in her forties who has dated several Black women. She dated Pat (the same Pat as in Annie and Pat, they’re all still friends) for three years. She also dated another Black woman Diane for three years. She says she was not raised to be racist or to prejudge people in her family. The first time she used the “n” word her older sister Vivian told her it was bad. Her father was only against interracial marriage because it caused problems for the children. There were no Blacks in her grammar school, but there were a few Blacks in her high school and she hung out with all of them (Arlene, 1997).

            Arlene talked about race with Pat. One time when she took Pat to a doctor’s office in a White neighborhood some teenage boys threw stones and yelled racial epitaphs at them from a roof. She was very angry and told the boys to come down and meet her face to face. This made her feel ashamed of her race. Between the two of them race was not a problem. She always defended Black people. She couldn’t understand why they were treated differently. How can anyone love God and hate other people. She doesn’t think it’s human to be prejudice. Love is what it’s about not race. She’s amazed at the survival ability of Black women with all they have to endure. She feels like she fits in with Black people (Arlene, 1997).

            Arlene eventually left Pat for another Black woman, Diane. They were also together for three years. (The three of them are still friends today). Diane was more insecure about race. She would ask if there would be any other Blacks where they were going and would tell her if she was afraid to go somewhere. Diane was the “great love of her life” (Arlene, 1997).

            Both Arlene and Pat’s families were OK about their friendship, but they weren’t aware they were lovers. Arlene actually lived with Pat’s family for awhile on the South side of Chicago. Her older sister, Vivian is married to a Black doctor. Her family accepts their relationship, but her sister gets a lot of shit from Black women, which is very hard for Vivian to deal with. Being gay let her hide the true nature of her interracial relationships (Arlene, 1997).

            Arlene says she didn’t experience any shit from the lesbian community about her interracial relationships. However later in the interview she said she feared what she might get from her peers her interracial relationships (Arlene, 1997).

            Pat was Arlene’s her first Black lover and she was Pat’s first lover. Arlene had heard that Black women were supposed to be exotic, but she didn’t find any difference between Black and White women. She basically likes darker people. Being with Black women was a part of her own self discovery. (Arlene, 1997). Arlene says the advantage to dating a woman from another race is that it opens you up to other cultures, foods, and dreams (Arlene, 1997).

            Arlene says the challenge is having to deal with other people’s non-acceptance. Black and White women have different types of inferiority complexes. Because White women heard stories about Black women being exotic, they feel sexually inferior to Black women. If people could only get beyond misbeliefs and just deal with each other as people. The strength that Black women have is a barrier to her in initiating relationships with them (Arlene, 1997).

Kathy           

            Kathy is White, in her fifties, and has had many sexual relationships with Black women. She says she wasn’t brought up with prejudice. She simply saw Blacks as people. Although she knew racism existed, race didn’t matter, she saw the person, not the race. She remembers being criticized just for walking with a Spanish guy. She was concerned about what her family and other people would think about her dating Black women, so she never talked about it. She says it didn’t matter (Kathy, 1997).

             Kathy never discussed race with her Black lovers because she never thought of it, it was a sexual attraction. She couldn’t be “in love” with a Black woman because racism got in the way. You couldn’t settle down with a Black woman, “where would the two of you live?” Because she couldn’t live with or bring a Black woman home to meet her family, she didn’t take Black women seriously. She felt bad about feeling this way because she knew it was morally wrong (Kathy, 1997). 

            One time she dated a White woman who had a Black child. She couldn’t even get comfortable with that, so she admits she was prejudice in this case. She was too worried, fear got in her way (Kathy, 1997). 

        She felt the same societal pressure in the gay community as she did in the rest of society. Many lesbians felt interracial relationships were OK, but some saw them as “a step up” for the Black person. She felt more sexually free with Black women. They always accepted her and were positive toward her, so she felt a safeness with them. She could talk dirtier with Black women. She didn’t feel safe as far as her feelings were concerned though (Kathy, 1997).

            While interviewing Kathy there was a sudden abrupt changein her conversation. She said she didn’t like “their ways” (Black), the way they talk, walk and act. When push comes to shove their Blackness comes out. If she’d been a plantation owner she would have had sex with Black women and kept them as slaves too. She wants to see things the “right” way, but can’t help seeing things as society does. She thinks she’s an “asshole” because look what Whites have done to Blacks and Native Americans. She has two conflicting emotions. She asked herself out loud, “Where do I stand? Do I believe in humanity or slavery” (Kathy, 1997)? 

        Blacks can talk White. She’s always been afraid to comment openly about how she felt about things she saw on television when she was with a Black woman. Like Black religious “shit” and other stuff they spouted that she doesn’t believe. At the same time she really believes there is no difference between women. With Black women there’s more baggage added to the burden of a lesbian relationship (Kathy, 1997). 

            Kathy admits that she feels repressed with White women too. With White women she can only go so far in saying what she really thinks. She’s just not free to let herself go. She said she thinks homophobia has a great deal to do with this. She’s afraid to accept herself and be who she really is. She remembers that she and her first White women lover seemed to hate each other for loving one other. Chicana lesbian writer, Cherrie Moraga (1983) said that she and her female lovers brought society’s hatreds to bed with them. She hated herself and her lover for loving one another. She never felt woman or man enough (Moraga, 1983).  

            Kathy thinks this has affected the rest of her life. She can’t be consistent with her true feelings because she got kicked in the ass for expressing them. She’s blamed herself  the rest of her life. She doesn’t know whether or not she’s ever been “in love” (Kathy, 1997).  Many White women deny being brought up to be racist, but Black women’s experience and Kathy’s frankness proves that we were.

Pootie41 

            Pootie41 is a forty two year old White lesbian who has been with her thirty seven year old Black partner for six years. She says, my Black lover lost all but one of her friends when she took up with me, as if she had turned her back on her community. She misses the connection with women of color. We are living happily in Arizona however,  “… we live a guarded public life” (Pootie41, 1996). 

            They met through her fifteen year old mixed-race (Black & White) daughter. Race wasn’t a big issue for her because her children are Black. One daughter is married to a Samoan and another shares a child with a Black man. Each daughter has a son. They were having dinner with their White grand and great grandparents as she wrote this. Race has no meaning in their relationship (Pootie41, 1997). 

            They did discuss race at the beginning because all of her Black lovers friends ended their relationships with her. As if she had turned her back on her community. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Only one of her Black lesbian friends remained friends with her and they still talk frequently (Pootie41, 1997). 

             Her perceptions of race are that it’s still as ugly and rampid as it has always been. Racism was no surprise for her after having a mixed daughter in nineteen seventy three. She experienced plenty of racism daily from the to nineteen ninety one and still does (Pootie41, 1997).

            When her daughter had a baby, her and her partner witnessed the birth. Her daughter’s Black spouse didn’t have any family at hospital and only immediate family were allowed in birthing room. The nurses thought my partner was the baby’s grandmother on the father’s side and me of course, on the mother’s side. She guessed that they never saw two mother-in-laws get along so well (Pootie41, 1997)!

            She described their relationship as stable, happy, secure, and  financially above average. Their families all like each other and get along. Her Black partner as a formal education and is very smart. She wishes she could tell me more about her, but she doesn’t trust the Internet. She protects her financially, emotionally and would physically if challenged. She cooks, she cleans. She does the laundry, she does the yard. She does the pool, she keeps the patio clean. She does landscape lighting. I keep the finances, she trusts me completely. They have legal documents protecting their investments. She looks forward to when her partner takes another set up so she can stay home all day instead of working just for health insurance (Pootie41, 1997).

            She says they both bring their experience to the table of life. Their  backgrounds are extremely different. She thinks they share the best of both worlds and keep balance within their lives. She says she thinks they have an almost perfect relationship (Pootie41, 1997).

Cindi 

        Cindi is a White woman who has had several interracial relationships. She didn’t discuss racism at the beginning of a ten year relationship and later the woman called her racist when she was angry and hurt. She was right, I was exhibiting racist behavior, which hurt her. My intent had been to do the right thing. This Black partner had a lot of internalized racism (Cindi, 1997). 

            One woman that she shared an eight year relationship with participated in workshops geared toward understanding racism and it’s institutionalization. They learned a lot from each other about racism. She worked on her racism a lot. She encouraged her partner to hang around with more Black people, which she had not done before they met. She recognized that in a racist society such as ours, a Black person needs to be with other Blacks in a White free space for support, so they can express feelings without being attacked by the other (Cindi, 1997).

            She has a hard time associating with many other White people because they’re so racist without even realizing it. Once her consciousness was raised  she saw everything differently. She thinks it’s for a risk for a Black person to become friends with a White person. Most White people don’t recognize how racist our society is. Most Whites don’t accept what they are told because they see things through their own privileged eyes. Race is significant to her because she doesn’t want to be subjected to any racism any more than a Black person. The woman she is currently involved with says that she over identifies. She says she’s probably right, but doesn’t think that’s wrong (Cindi, 1997). 

            Challenges for her are dealing with the rest of the White world. People who might be careful about expressing their views and opinions in front of Blacks will speak freely with her. She often finds herself calling people on their racist attitudes and actions, thus putting herself in a defensive position in which she’s inevitably attacked. Before she being involved with Black women she didn’t know a thing about White skin privilege or racism (Cindi, 1997). 

            She says she doesn’t sense a difference sexually. In some small way she thinks their relationship helps make the world a better place. It shows that we can get along with and love each other (Cindi, 1997).

Lisa

        Lisa is a mixed-race woman, her father is Black West African and her mum is British White. She grew up in a small town on the English countryside, sheltered from the harsh realities of racism. People there didn’t make you feel different because of your race. Her parents always told her she was a human being, that race was not an issue. This shaped her into identifying herself with the human race rather than by her skin color. She’s been with three Black women, one for five years and another four and a half years (Lisa, 1997-1997).  

            The woman she’s with now, Elizabeth, is a bartender at a hotel. She’s fiery, honest, creative and passionate. Lisa ’s a veterinarian, down to earth, honest, low key, and romantic. They met on-line a year ago and have been together ever since. They talked about race right from their first instant messages when they described themselves to each other. Race has no meaning in their relationship. They see no disadvantage, advantage or challenge being in an interracial relationship. Both were always attracted to women of other races (Lisa, 1996-1997).

            Their relationship is better than previous ones because of the person she’s with, not because of race. Race has never been a concern to either of them. They realize racism exists and always will unfortunately. She refuses to accept folks into her life who can’t accept her. “Life is too bloody short to worry about the bigots of the world – be happy and love the one you’re with!” (Lisa, 1996-1997). 

Cybernoire 

            Cybernoire is a multiracial lesbian who has been in a relationship with a White woman for six years. They met through mutual friends and do talk about race. They discussed their experiences, beliefs, politics, ideals, hopes, childhood, and families. The meaning of race in their relationship is challenging, frustrating, infuriating, comical, exciting and educating (Cybernoire, 1996-1997). 

            She found a folder on-line for interracial relationships, but none specifically for women of color. She asked, “Like don’t we exist if we’re not doing it with a white girl?” At times we both just don’t “get it”. The advantage is  it enlarges both of our worlds (Cybernoire, 1996-1997).

            All relationships are different. Cybernoire says she’s older and more determined to have this relationship work. Their relationship is unequal economically, understanding is less than easy, but there’s lots of love, caring, and nurturing. Sometimes she gets tired of explaining her reality and the problems she faces. She thinks she’s easier with her sexuality, less inhibited, and more sexual than her White partner. She’s not sure why she believes this, but she thinks it’s related to race (Cybernoire, 1996-1997).

Emerald 

        Emerald is an White lesbian who was born in Ireland. She’s been in a twelve year relationship with a Black woman. She also has Black friends and has had other Black lovers. She has never been in a long term relationship with a woman of her own culture. She met her present lover in a small Texas town when they were both in their thirties (Emerald, 1997). 

            She says African American women and women like herself get on well because they share wonderful oral history, songs, and poetry passed on from mother to daughter. They are much closer than one might believe in the ability to keep our cultures alive despite brutal colonialism. Every atrocity carried out in Africa by the British was first practiced on the Irish from the 11th century up, from slavery to the deliberate destruction of the great oaks forest in the midlands. Lesbians have also survived the rigidity of our own church in Irish and Irish American life (Emerald, 1997).

            Race is always a major topic between them because her cultural upbringing, attitudes and family background were very different. They discussed history, economics, family secrets, sociology of Black families versus Irish and the many similarities between them. They have an on going discussion with friends about how they place themselves in the world as lesbians perceived as different, and as lesbians who have no fear of one another, who are close enough to see the differences as cultural, not racial and who chose to explore that meaning in depth (Emerald, 1997). 

            She came from a politically committed family. Her heroes were: the Mandellas, Fannie Lou Hamer, and James Baldwin. African American culture has taught her more than mainstream White culture. They taught her about the ability to survive and grow under oppression. Despite lacking public acknowledgment by society, she was taught very early that African Americans were leading our civilization forward to freedom for all (Emerald, 1997). 

            She sometimes has to deal with suspicion and distrust from her lover’s family who are more affected by homophobia than racism. She also faces enormous racism from White dykes. As a result of being in her relationship her perception of racism has become a lot worse than she ever thought in Ireland – it’s pervasive, systematic, ugly and rampant in the gay community. White women have no understanding of the depth of invisibility African American women are subjected to. When someone approaches them with a question like about directions, they always ask her. It’s the same way women are dismissed if they’re with a man (Emerald, 1997). 

             Race affects everything. It objectifies people and our images of beauty. Her lovers have been beautiful and plain. The darkness of their skin against her White skin is an aspect of the erotic for her. She realizes some might see that as objectification. It’s an issue she always discuss with lovers first. She asks, if we don’t know why we’re attracted to someone, what’s the point? I’m attracted to Black women because of their cultural history that contains a collective expression of joy through cultural forms, music, dance, singing, storytelling, and a certain seasoning in life which usually makes them of much great intellectual and spiritual strength (Emerald, 1997).  

            The advantage she finds with interracial relationships is exploring other cultures, oral history, poetry, delight and joy. The challenge is to learn to listen clearly and to remember where each of us has come from. She thinks her experience has been far easier than a woman who is African American. The biggest challenge in this long term relationship has far more to do with personal dynamics than race. Her lover is under the burden of having to be a “credit to her people”, always on show, always first to break through barriers of race in her career. This took a terrible toll on us. It was stressful and hurtful to her. She couldn’t protect her partner from this or help in many situations. It forced her to become more of a caretaker than she wanted to be. She got lost and even had to leave to find her self again. It was the effect of external racism in their lives which compounded personal dynamics (Emerald, 1997). 

            She says she would be a lost and lonely woman without her  African American friends, they’re the joy in her life. They have loved, befriended her, stood my her and have been true friends  (Emerald, 1997).

Femunity  

            Femunity is White and has been with her Black lover for five years. She claims that many of her friends “accepted” their interracial relationship as long as they could go on without changing. They were a group of White women, so they didn’t have to change. She wasn’t prepared for seeing the racism she saw in her friends. They said they accepted our relationship and my partner but they were unable or unwilling to examine their own racism. It inevitably surfaced in their interactions with us (Femunity, 1997).

            It wasn’t the kind of racism that “hit you over the head,” it was that insidious, creeping kind of racism. You get in the car on the way home and realize how shitty you feel. Her partner had been feeling shitty before they got to the car. It was hard to see their racism and as a result her own. It had been so comfortable being monocultural and ignorant (Femunity, 1997). 

            She sees her relationship as a gift. It’s like a pair of glasses that can be used to see better with, both herself and others. The few friends that she kept are real, love them both and don’t pretend racism isn’t still mired in the way they are together (Femunity, 1997). 

Psychotherapy for Lesbians in Interracial Relationships

            Lesbian writer and activist, Suzanne Pharr says that despite work by people of color and lesbians, the White lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgendered community has characterized and marketed itself as White, male and middle to upper class (1996). Homosexuality is seen as a White thing in communities of color. This makes lesbians and gays of color invisible in gay and in their own racial community (Pharr, 1996). 

            Homophobia … has kept us “quiet” and invisible in our anti-racist work; racism has kept us “quiet” in our lesbian and gay work. She suggests that lesbians of color have a great deal to teach the rest of us about living under multiple oppressions. Pharr believes that beyond our moral duty to assist one another to see our connectedness, she warns that unless we develop a sense of “common humanity” our very survival is at stake. Pharr asks, “Which identity should a lesbian of color chose … gender, race, or sexual identity?” (Pharr, 1996, p.101). Identity issues that are political also effect us personally and within our relationships.  

            Societal exclusion and oppression affects our mental health and has also been internalized in the minds of mental health professionals. As a student in a counseling psychology program, I’m aware that much of what is being taught still maintains sexist, racist and homophobic assumptions. Resistance has been a survival tactic for Black people; it can make one feel better, but in long run it can actually undermine motivation. This notion is similar to the what traditional therapy has historically done about women’s oppression – it has merely helped women to cope with the effects of the oppression. It has not helped them to rise above and out of it.  

            Beverly Greene and Nancy Boyd-Franklin posit that traditional psychotherapy has maintained the “triple jeopardy” of being Black, female, and homosexual (1996, p.49). This socio/political environment makes it difficult for Black lesbians to attain optimal psycho/social development. The rare research that does exist about Black women has ignored sexuality and research on lesbians has been from the perspectives of middle class White women. If clinicians are to effectively treat Black women with cultural sensitivity they need culturally specific information (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996). 

            Sarah Pearlman’s review of the literature on lesbian couples reveals that most psychological literature has tuned into White/Euro-American experience. Despite the increasing number of interracial couplings, lesbians of color and interracial lesbian couples have not received equal consideration in the literature. Many interracial lesbian couples are also complicated in that they also face differences in class, culture and socioeconomic status. These couples may have these issues in common with heterosexual mixed race couples, but homophobia adds another layer of complexity to the challenges they face. Challenges such as lacking social and family support systems combined with social rules based on gender and male privilege which effect relationships and roles (Pearlman, 1996). For these reasons, I allow the scales to tip in attempting to learn more about Black lesbian experience.

            African American cultural origins within West Africa, have created a legacy of nuclear and extended family networks of mutual support and obligation that have fostered more egalitarian gender roles and family values in which interdependability is of vital importance. Once in America Black women were viewed as property where their sexual lives were subject to slavemasters and African males (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996).

            White supremacist images of Black women as promiscuous, assertive, matriarchal has served to maintain racism and has allowed Black men to blame racism on strong, emasculating Black women. Sexual racism is also involved in the Black community’s extreme homophobia. To an oppressed group the reproductive nature of sexuality to avoid extinction is highly valued. Heterosexuality is their only privilege and connection with the White norms. This racial history effects the relationships of African American lesbians to this day (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996). Wilson & Russell (1996) quote Black lesbian Barbara Smith, “”straightness” is our last resort” (p.137). To relinquish one privilege is viewed as genocidal to Black women (Wilson & Russell, 1996). 

            Greene and Boyd-Franklin cited studies revealing that Black lesbians, when compared to White lesbians have a greater likelihood of having children, to depend on families of origin, and fellow Black lesbians for support. They also have more involvement with heterosexuals and males. Despite their greater anxiety and alienation as a result of being homosexual, are less likely to seek therapy and when they do are more vulnerable to unsuccessful results (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996).   

            Midge Wilson and Kathy Russell (1996) quote a Black lesbian named Lisa, “most Black Lesbians identify as Black women first and lesbians second.” (p.137). White lesbians find it hard to understand that Black lesbian’s race comes before sexuality (Wilson & Russell, 1996). Homophobia within the Black community doesn’t prevent Black lesbians from feeling that being Black is a primary aspect of who they are. Loyalties are complex for Black lesbians. Should their loyalties lie with a Black community who rejects them as lesbians, or should they rest within the lesbian community, that may harbor racism (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996)? 

            Strong family ties within the Black community may make families reluctant to reject lesbian family members. Various levels of tolerance may be adopted. Families may use chose to deny lesbianism, or continued family support may lie “on a fragile foundation of silence, ambivalence and denial” (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996, p. 53). Therapists should be cautious about equating tolerance with acceptance which may depend on keeping the issue quiet.. Families may be friendly to a woman’s partner until the their lesbianism openly acknowledged (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996). Greene and Boyd-Franklin recommend that clients explore the various responses in a family that seem to be united in their rejection or acceptance (1996). 

            Because African American families find the news of homosexuality overwhelming, they don’t recommend coming out to the whole family all at once. Couples in interracial relationships, need help being supportive to one another during the coming out phase as the family’s anger may be focused on the partner’s Whiteness. As an outsider to the family and to the race, the White partner may be blamed for the Black woman’s lesbianism (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996).

            Partially due to the greater number of White lesbians, lesbians of color and Black American lesbians become involved in interracial relationship more often than White lesbians. These interracial relationships face even greater obstacles than do heterosexual interracial relationships. For one, they’re more likely to be identified as lesbians due to their increased visibility and thus more prone to experience homophobia from family members and from society in general (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996). 

            To adapt to the reality of racism, lesbians of color develop “protective psychological armor” (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996, p. 55; Wilson & Russell, 1996). Some women are able to use this armor when they need it, some can’t. Most lesbians of color know racism when they experience it and have learned ways to cope and survive with it. When White partners face racism for the first time they may be far from prepared to recognize it, and certainly less able to address it. Because she doesn’t  see racist slights, the White partner may think her Black partner’s rage is out of line, or she may see herself as “rescuer,” and actually label her Black partner “complacent” (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996, p. 56). Her Black partner may experience this protective role as unnecessary and even patronizing (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996). 

            D. Merilee Clunis and G. Dorsey Green (1993) also discuss the barrier that Black people use to defend themselves from racism as “armoring.” Armoring is a shell built around the self for the purpose of deflecting racism and for allow for paced responses to it. Not needing this armoring, White women take their relative freedom for granted. White women are unprepared for racism, they haven’t needed too observe most people and situations for potential racism. They may not perceive racial snubs as such, nor see them as caused by racism (Clunis & Green, 1993).

            The White partner may end up frustrated and even angry after attempting to assuage her guilt with attempts to make reparations (impossible for her to do) for society’s racism. Being in an interracial relationship doesn’t mean that the White partner knows what racism feels like or is even without racism herself. The Black partner may still be resentful of her White lover’s privilege in the lesbian and mainstream community. Others may perceive both women as betraying their respective race and thus feel shame about the relationship. Resolving these issues within the relationship is complicated for the Black woman because of the tangled feelings of estrangement and loyalty (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996).    

            Because of the obvious and visible nature of the couple’s racial difference problems of intimacy, personal character, and individual psychological issues can easily be inappropriately racialized. Race may be used as a scapegoat that serves to deny the acknowledgment of non-racial personal issues within and outside the couple (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996). 

            Many reasons have been cited for White women seeking out Black women. One is to deal with their White guilt and/or their lacking a sense of ethnicity, or as evidence of their liberality. Because of the common stereotypical perception of Black women as exotic and sexually free White women may also be unaware of a hope to gain something they lack from Black women (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996). 

            When the White woman fails to fix her own issues or problems by being with the Black partner, she may feel betrayed and angry at her partner. The therapist can help the couple to discover expectations each had about the relationship that go deeper than generalities. Deeply hidden assumptions about how racial differences might be experienced within their intimate relationship should be a topic for reflection (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996). 

     The partners we pick doesn’t necessarily represent inner identity conflicts. When they are present they can be expressed by Black lesbians who only date White women or who don’t value other Black lesbians enough to see them as potential partners. If Black lesbians see themselves as ethnically deficient or ambiguous they might seek another Black lesbian to somehow make up for her own deficiencies and as a measure of Black community loyalty. However, clinicians need  to be aware that interracial relationships are not necessarily signs of self-hate or cultural loyalty (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996).

            When a Black lesbian is in a relationship with a woman of color, other than Black, it might be assumed that they have more in common culturally than they actually do. Sharing “triple jeopardy” oppression doesn’t mean automatic compatibility in matters of roles in relationship, housekeeping, and the roles of family and friends in their lives (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996, p. 49). A woman who is lacks a sense of family might gravitate toward a person who is highly involved with her family. This situation can cause problems of profound rejection if the partner without family unconsciously hopes that she will be included (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996).

            When treating lesbian couples in general it is important to assist them to nurture each other and their relationship while they work on complicated family issues. It’s vitally important that they establish support systems within the lesbian community or within birth families. Various societal systems outside of therapy will be resistant to lesbians and their relationships. A feminist clinician needs to analyze the multiple interrelated systems of oppression that impact their relationships (Greene & Boyd-Franklin, 1996).   

            Our cultural identities are formed through our race and class status. Race is frequently a determinate of class and socioeconomic positions. In order to be sensitive and helpful to these clients, therapists must be aware of race, class and cultural differences. Differing norms, values and meanings effect individual relational dynamics and other couple issues. Each woman brings her own sense of self, of self esteem, ways of child rearing, ways to handle money and obligations to family and friends (Pearlman, 1996).

            As if these differences didn’t complicate things enough, the clinician brings her/his own attitudes about interracial relationships. The clinician may think that a Black woman’s choice of a White partner may be an expression of her own racism and that a White woman who chooses a Black partner may be due to low self esteem, belief in stereotypical exotification of women of color, or an attempt to experience superiority. Underlying reasons for human preferences and behaviors are multiple, these issues may explain some of the motivation along with unconscious and conscious factors. These factors aside, it’s also possible that interracial couples really like, respect, enjoy being with and feel sexual attracted to one another (Pearlman, 1996). 

            If an interracial couple is to deal with racism, the White woman has to raise her consciousness about the privilege she enjoys and she must develop her own form of armoring. The Black woman will have to deal with her anger about her White partner’s privilege along with having to act as her racism instructor. Both will feel better equipped to deal with situations if they talk about them openly to ascertain the other’s feelings (Clunis & Green, 1993).  

             It is very important for both women to understand the pressures of the other. It is devastating for either partner to be isolated from her friends or family because of homophobia or racism. A White partner may not realize just how vital it is for women of color to be with people like herself, and may feel excluded. Both women may feel shame about wanting to be with someone from a different race; as a result they might ask themselves, What’s wrong with me? Can’t I find someone of my own kind? Coming out may be very different for the Black and White cultures. If one partner doesn’t come out the other woman might mistakenly take this as being about being ashamed of the relationship or of herself. White women may wonder whether a Black woman is interested in her only to elevate her status (Clunis & Green, 1993). In much the same way as a rich man might wonder whether he was loved for his money.

            Women of color may have a concern about their White partner being referred to as an ethnic chaser who always seeks partners of another race, possibly out of racial guilt or to demonstrate their liberalism (Clunis & Green, 1993).

            Clinicians, especially those who are White middle-class, who work with these couples must be aware of the unique countertransference which will necessitate tuning into one’s own attitudes about race, class and the assumptions that stem from these beliefs. There may also be identifications and counter-identifications within the mixed race/class couple (Pearlman, 1996). All of these issues are in addition to individual personality variances, routine life problems, issues of coming out and of just how far out each partner is and complexities involved in lesbian butch-femme identity. 

            Pearlman (1996) discusses therapy she provided to Julia, a forty-five year old Puerto Rican born lesbian and Susan, a fifty-year old White lesbian. Their major conflict revolved around how Susan perceived Julia’s relationship with her son. Susan thought Julia was over involved with her son and her entire family. Susan saw Julia’s son as spoiled. Susan’s children accepted her lesbianism, but Julia’s son has not accepted that his mother is a lesbian. He had refused to visit their home if Susan was home. Beyond being furious with Julia’s son’s attitude she was also upset that Julia didn’t “put him in his place” (Pearlman, 1996, p. 28). She felt that Julia was placing her son above her. On the other hand, Julia thought her son just needed time to accept their relationship. She worried about losing her son along with future grandchildren if she was confrontational toward him (Pearlman, 1996). 

            In psychotherapy the couple explored and came to see the cultural meanings of their different behaviors and values and led to them being able to unpersonalize the conflicts these led them to. When they understood and addressed different family values and mothering styles they were able to decrease their defensiveness and anger, as a result new conversations were able to evolve (Pearlman, 1996). 

            Susan and Julia demonstrates a phenomenon that I also noted in my interviews. The couples friends and all of their social life revolved around activities that wereWhite orientated. While Julia did enjoy these friends and events, she also felt even intimidated at times and self conscious about her accent which made her feel that she was speaking “badly” (Pearlman, 1996, p. 29). The White women were also more educated making her feel that they wouldn’t be interested in her. She wanted to have some Puerto Rican lesbians friends too. As a result of therapy Susan started thinking about learning some Spanish (Pearlman, 1996). Issues of newly labeled Ebonics may impact Black and White couples in a similar fashion. 

            Another couple Pearlman discussed was Sheryl a forty two year old African American lesbian and her partner, Gena a fifty three year old Jewish lesbian. They initially came to therapy because of financial problems, however many other aspects of their relationship that were stress provoking. They were very isolated and without support systems. Both families struggled to accept their lesbianism and their racial differences. As a result, neither could relax with the other’s family. Gena’s friends thought she would probably lose interest in Sheryl, so they didn’t take the relationship seriously. Sheryl’s friends not only encouraged her to date other Black lesbians, but criticized her for being with a White women. Sheryl was uncomfortable, angry and felt intimidated around Gena’s friends. Through therapy they came to see that they could seek out the social support they needed by connecting with other mixed race couples (Pearlman, 1996).

            Gena perceived their financial problems as being the result of anti-Semitism and Jewish stereotypes. Sheryl thought she was being degraded for being stupid about money, which had racial undertones to her. In therapy they discovered the different meaning money had in terms of survival among Black and Jewish societies. Gena came to have a deeper understanding of why Sheryl had the sense of family responsibility that she did along with her personal reasons for needing to wearing fashionable clothes (Pearlman, 1996).

            Each of the two couples that Pearlman (1996) provided therapy for had to learn how to speak freely about racial issues and to be more sensitive about their partner’s feelings about the relative safeness of different neighborhoods. Gena was concerned about Sheryl’s level of comfort with being the only lesbian of color among their lesbian gatherings. Both White women required many years to see their own racial privilege despite learning of racism’s pervasiveness first-hand. Sheryl openly reflected on whether or not her preference for White women had anything to do with racial self-hate. Julia and Sheryl were angry with their partners, they feared losing themselves and their own culture as a result of loving a White woman (Pearlman, 1996). 

            Each woman’s appreciation for cultural differences was enhanced and grew to a point of enjoying customs of the other culture. The four women said they felt that their partner was able to fill in a place within themselves that was under developed. All four also found their physical differences to be sexually exciting (Pearlman, 1996). 

            Clinicians who become sensitized to race and class differences place themselves in privileged positions of being able to observe the relational dynamics and conflicts that come out of mixed-race relationships. Their understanding of these differences can be used to help client’s to clarify and understand how these issues effect their relationships. Power struggles can be reframed, difference can be personalized thus bringing new meanings to light. Validation from clinicians also affirms the cultures of both partners (Pearlman, 1996). 

            Both of the couples that I interviewed failed to address their racial differences in a way that made them both feel validated. Annie and Pat didn’t discuss it and Dawn and Shirley kept isolated for many years. Both couples had definite problems that might have been worked out had sensitive and informed counseling helped them to develop a deeper understanding of the barriers that stood between them. They might all have been armed with information that could have enriched their relationships. 

            Interracial couples learn many new things which can enhance their relationship. Clunis and Green suggest that women not let difference keep them from loving each other, because it can also bring joy into relationships (Clunis & Green, 1993). 

            According to Susan Sherwin (1992), feminist ethicists assert that unless people’s oppression is included in moral discourse, the discourse itself is unethical. Rhoda Unger and Mary Crawford (1992 ) say that traditional therapy has not addressed the needs of diverse varieties of women. Psychological diagnosis and symptomology include assumptions about class, race, ethnicity, and sexual orientation, enmeshed within labels attributed to people. Thus the mental health system has historically excluded women’s oppression and values. Exclusion isn’t only unethical for moral reasons, it contributes to and actually causes many of the mental health problems experienced by all the various groups of women. 

            Laura Brown (1989) questions whether the large number of homosexuals receiving or who have received psychotherapy is due to large numbers with pathology or whether, in context, it’s a health-seeking strategy to deal with societal ambiguity. Unless therapy comes out of Black and White women’s experience it harms them and as a result is unethical. For Black and White women’s therapy to be truly therapeutic and ethical it must deconstruct the social context and so-called symptomology attributed to their so-called “madness”.  A feminist paradigm of therapy must come out of the lived experiences of all types of women. We must de-internalize patriarchy’s notion of who we are and what’s possible for us in interracial relationships. Isn’t love the one universal aspect of our humanity? Isn’t it one thing we’ve all learned from our culture? Might not love itself be the cure?  What color is  love anyway? Mightn’t interracial mating be an evolutionary way to get beyond racism? Ann Stanford (1994), (a previous teacher at DePaul), said that within a racist and sexist society, “ … the community is both the disease and the cure.” 

References

Annie. (1997). Personal Interview. April 18 & April 21.

Brown, L. S. (1989). New Voices, New Visions: Towards a Lesbian and Gay Paradigm for Psychology. Psychology of Women Quarterly. 13: 445-458.

Cindi (Screen name, Dykeluv). (1997). Written posting/survey completed via America On-Line, Keyword onQ, Lesbian Discussion, Interracial Relationships. April 28.

Clunis, D. M. & Green, G. D. (1993). How Racism Affects Couples. In Lesbian Couples: Creating Healthy      

Relationships for the ‘90s. Seattle: Seal Press, pp. 131-142.

Cybernoire. (Screen name). (July 21,1996 & April 21,1997). Written posting/survey completed via America On-Line, Keyword  onQ, Lesbian Discussion, Interracial Relationships.  

Dawn. (1997). Personal Interview. April 21.

Emerald (Screen name, OLEAREM). (1997). Written posting/survey completed via America On-Line,  Keyword onQ, Lesbian Discussion, Interracial Relationships.         April 21, 23.

Femunity. (Screen name). (1997). Written posting/survey completed via America On-Line,  Keyword onQ, Lesbian Discussion, Interracial Relationships. May 18. 

Greene, B., Boyd-Franklin, N. (1996). African American Lesbian Couples: Ethnocultural Considerations in Psychotherapy. Women & Therapy: A Feminist Quarterly. vol. 19, no 3., pp. 49-60. 

Kathy. (1997). Personal Interview. April 13 & April 17.

LaJaunessee. (1997). Personal Interview. May 13. 

Lisa. (Screen name, LCVDVM). (May 25,1996 & April 28,1997). Written posting/survey completed via America On-Line, Keyword onQ, Lesbian Discussion, Interracial Relationships.    

Moraga. C.(1983). Loving in the War Years. Boston: South End Press.

Pat. (1997). Personal Interview. April 18.

Pearlman, S. F. (1996). Loving Across Race and Class Divides: Relational Challenges and the Interracial Lesbian Couple. Women & Therapy: A Feminist Quarterly. vol. 19, no 3, pp. 25-35.

Pharr, S. (1996). In the Time of the Right: Reflections on Liberation. Berkeley: Chardon Press. 

Pootie41. (Screen name). (August 14, 1996 & April 19, 1997). Written posting/survey completed via American On-Line, Keyword onQ, Lesbian Discussion, Interracial Relationships.

Sherwin, S. (1992). No Longer Patient: Feminist Ethics in Health Care. Philadelphia: Temple University Press.

Shirley. (1997). Personal Interview. April 21. 

Stanford, Folwell A. (1994). Mechanism of Disease: African-American Women Writers, Social Pathologies, and the Limits of Medicine. NWSA Journal, Vol.  6, no 1, Spring. pp. 28-47. 

Wilson, M. & Russell, K. (1996). Sexual Tensions, Chapter Four in Divided Sisters: Bridging the Gap Between Black Women and White Women.New York: Doubleday. 

Unger, R. & Crawford, M. (1992). Women and Gender: A Feminist Psychology. New York: McGraw-Hill. 

Katherine Philips (1632-1664) “The Matchless Orinda”

De Paul University, MALS Program

Perceptions of Reality, MLS 402

3-19-95

Pat Anderson

Grade A-

See examples of original sources at the end

Abstract

            In this paper I look at the life and writing of Katherine Philips, (The Matchless Orinda), illustrating how Philips manipulated her writing to fit acceptable standards set up for women during the Renaissance. 

            Her eloquent writing was appreciated by women and men of her day. Some recent researchers suggest that her female friendship poems were erotic in nature. I will argue that whether platonic or erotic, she was a talented poet. And despite having to use great care, she was successful in communicating life experiences from a woman’s perspective. I can only imagine what her writing might have been like if her spirit had been free to write without consideration of gender.

Historical Context

            In the seventeenth century women not only had to have just the right circumstances to enable them to write, but they had to develop strategies about how to do so in keeping with the rules set up by men (Mermin 336). They had to be careful not to elicit men’s anger (Mermin 336). Women had to make their writing seem spontaneous, without artfulness and had to be sure to communicate that they were not in competition with men (Mermin 336)

            Women generally avoided iambic pentameter, formal odes or epics, classical allusion or exalted diction (Mermin 336). Women wrote relatively simple fables, understated small and ordinary themes, spoke of themselves in self-depreciating, low-key terms and kept their tone conversational (Mermin 336).

            Men wrote as if their words were genderless, but women could never forget they wrote and would be read as women (Mermin 336). They had to be on their best behavior because failures of breeding or temper would discredit their whole sex (Mermin 336). The gentlemanly amateurism in the Renaissance tradition provided a framework for women to write in a time when simply appearing in public was viewed as taboo for women (Mermin 336), (let alone being published). Until well into the nineteenth century publicity to a woman was assumed to defile her virtue (Mermin 338). 

            I like Ann Messenger’s (Williamson 23) description of women writers that Williamson provides:

            Women may begin writing to deal with loss, but they end writing to survive it. Because poetry is more public than private expression in the seventeenth century, we can also observe the degree to which contemporary discourse shapes women’s writing, just as it does men’s, but also the degree to which women transform the discourse to their purposes as a group (Williamson 23).  Women writers had to use enormous care to avoid posing any threat to male egos. In spite of the limitations placed upon them by their social realities they were able to express their female perspectives.

          Early Orinda                   

            Katherine Philips was influenced as a small child by her grandmother Oxenbridge’s interest in writing poetry (Limbert 179). She loved poetry at school and actually started writing verses there (Limbert 179). Her father John Fowler, a prominent London merchant, brought her up with strong Puritan connections (Limbert 179). She read the Bible at age four and wrote down sermons verbatim at age ten. As a child she used to pray for an hour at a time (Limbert 179). She was against the bishops and prayed that God would take them to him (Limbert 180). She started to attend Mrs. Salmon’s School in Hackney at age eight. (Limbert 180)

            The earliest of her work known to survive was found in an unpublished manuscript in the uncatalogued Orielton Collection of the National Library of Wales. It illustrates that Philips was  practicing poetry as early as age fourteen (Limbert 179) It’s not surprising that this manuscript was found in Orielton (three miles southwest of Pembroke, Wales) as it was once the home of Anne Lewis Owen, referred to as Lucasia by Philips, in her most intense friendship poems (Limbert 182).

            The Orielton manuscript contains two poems and a short prose receipt that are unpolished compared to her later works, yet are informative about the author’s early years (Limbert 181-182). It is suggested that the manuscript was written when Philips was between fourteen and sixteen years old, after her mother’s marriage and before her own (Limbert 181-182). Excerpts from the two poems are quite telling in relating her attitudes about marriage and romance:

            No blooming youth shall ever make me err

            I will the beauty of the mind prefer

            If himans rites shall call me hence

            It shall be with some man of sence

            …

            Faithful in promise & liberall to the poor

            …

            Ready to serve his friend his country & his king

            Such men as these yout say there are but few

            …

            Butt if I ever hap to change my life

            Its only such a man shall call me wife” (Limbert 186). 

            Excerpts from the poem on the reverse side:

            A marry’d state affords but little Ease

            The best of husbands are so hard to please

            …

            No Blustering husbands to create y’r fears

            …

            Few worldly crosses to distract y’r prayers   

            Thus you are freed from all the cares that do

            Attend on matrymony & a husband too

            … (Limbert 186).

These early poems clearly illustrate her very early feminist thought and insight into conditions women faced.

             Hageman views Philip’s two juvenilia poems above as an example of how thoroughly the young poet assimilated the values of seventeenth-century neo-classical poetry (570). Philips was able to transform the loyal, sensible and moderate friend, advocated by poets like Ben Jonson, into a description of a model husband (Hageman 570).

            These tiny glimpses into Philips’ early creativity show that she was familiar with composition and was approaching a feel for heroic couplets; they also illustrate her interest in talking to women through her poetry (Limbert 185). Her poems clearly reveal a young woman with unromantic ideas about marriage, not usually seen in English literature (Limbert 185). Philips does not speak as a character imagined by a man, she actually speaks for herself (Limbert 185).

            It is believed that she lived in London until her widowed mother married Sir Richard Phillips (sic) of Picton Castle in Wales; she moved with her mother to Wales at that time (Limbert 180). At 16, Philips married Colonel James Philips, a fifty four year old widower and prominent Puritan Parliamentarian (Limbert 180). They moved to her new husband’s home in Cardigan where he was active in politics (Limbert 180). After seven years of marriage she had a son who died at six weeks of age (Williamson 76).

Philips and the Renaissance

            Women’s literary output began in England, around 1640 (Williamson 16). Katherine Philips was the first English woman to publish a volume of poetry (Williamson 16). Women became the subjects and developed their own perspectives, rather than being objects of male perception and expression (Williamson 16). They wrote from positions that were self-defined (Williamson 16). Before this time in history women’s poetry was not  distinguishable from men’s (Williamson 18). Around the seventeenth century one can truly start to hear female voices who take female pseudonyms, address their needs and created their own conventions and themes (Williamson 18).

            Williamson says that Philips was a model for women poets; she used two current discourses, retirement tradition and libertine ideology, to show women how to use the codes of the culture to write about their life predicament (14). It took great courage to write about gender relations for these women; their poetry can give us a clue about what they were thinking and what their biases were (Williamson preface). Women writers of the Renaissance viewed each other as models and obtained inspiration from each other; they created their own traditions and usually wrote for other women (Williamson 14).

            Philips characterized commonalties of women writers after 1650 in that they were artistically, politically, and socially conservative (Williamson 21). They were married to supportive husbands, were usually childless, and were reserved about sexuality (Williamson 21). They had their own coterie audience and their writing forms included poetry, occasional plays, novels, essays and autobiographical letters (Williamson 21). They seldom wrote for money, hesitated to call attention to themselves by publishing, and used undoing to excuse their gall to publish (Williamson 21). Philips felt obligated to justify her privilege to write, sought freedom, yet at the same time sought community too, especially with other women, frequently in intimate relationships (Williamson 22). She tried to tread the ambiguous line between being a silent, submissive woman and her energy and ambition as a writer (Williamson 65).

            Seventeenth-century women writers’ conservatism did not allow them to advocate for radical changes, but they wanted better lives for women as a group (Williamson 22). In adapting the retirement tradition they avoided threatening their readers and illustrated a way, within their social constraints, to escape their social lot that could not be changed (Williamson 22).

            Philips’ unblemished reputation served as encouragement to other women (Mermin 335). She feared publication as it might be seen as sexual self-display (Mermin 335-336). Philips claimed that her poems were printed without her consent and compared women’s publication to exposing their bodies (Mermin 335-336). She claimed to have written for her own entertainment, yet at the same time prepared her work in manuscript form (Mermin 338).

            Women sought to demonstrate how they could survive in a male universe, largely through bonding with other women (Williamson 31). They took male indifference for granted and sought to compensate for it rather than challenge it (Williamson 31). Philips sought respect and consideration for wives, but saw equality as only available in female friendships (Williamson 32). 

            Philips took the privilege to write without social sanction for her doing so (Williamson 35-36). As a result she had to develop strategies to get beyond societal messages to remain silent (Williamson 35-36). Writing served the purpose of raising women and men’s consciousness about their oppression (Williamson 35-36).

            Philips provides confirmation of her humility in what she wrote Sir Charles Cotterell (her editor):

            I am so far from expecting Applause on account of any thing I write, that I can scarce expect a Pardon: And sometimes I think that to make Verses is so much above my Reach, and a Diversion so unfit for the Sex to which I belong, that I am about to resolve against it forever…..the Truth is, I have always had an incorrigible inclination to the Vanity of Rhyming, but intended the Effects of that Humour only for my own Amusement in a retir’d Life” (Williamson 64).

            Because translation was thought of as “feminine” (it was non-original), it was viewed as being well suited for women. Renaissance female translators, despite being discouraged from creating their own original work, did inject their own translations, thus adding or shifting emphasis, coining new terms, extending metaphors, omitting phrases and made the vernacular fit (Wilson xxx).

            Philips’ translation of Corneille’s “Pompey” was enthusiastically received at the new Theatre Royal in Dublin, in 1663 and was later published in Ireland and London (Limbert 180). Philips also left behind a partial translation of Corneille’s “Horace”, which was later completed by Sir John Denham; it became a favorite of the court of Charles II (Limbert 181).

Friendship Poems

            Shortly after her marriage her poems began to be circulated widely by her coterie of friends who were also the subjects of her verses (Limbert 180). Her best works were platonic friendship poems about other women; she used symbolic trappings of fire, water and twinned spirits to elevate them to goddess status (Limbert 180). No evidence exists to show that any of the women responded in a similar fashion (Limbert 180).

            During the time of the Renaissance, gender was bound in a hierarchy in which men and women could not be equals (Mueller 114). Thus men and women could not be friends (Mueller 114). Separate education and socialization for the sexes functioned to reinforce limits on how human equality could be perceived (Mueller 114).

            Philips’ friendship poems provided an acceptable form for women to experience equal relationships. It makes sense to me that women might attempt to share intellectually with other women since the men in their lives didn’t perceive them as intellectual equals. It seems quite logical that people would naturally gravitate toward egalitarian relationships.

            The theme of platonic friendship is found throughout Renaissance literature (Hageman 573). The English writer, George Turberville, described two friends as, “two in bodies twaine/Possessing but one heart” (Hageman 573). The classical assumption made by Renaissance writers was that friendship poems were celebrating the relationships between men (Hageman 573). When women were present in friendship poems they were portrayed as seductresses who separated male friends (Hageman 573). Philips’ friendship poems took for granted that women could be friends with each other as well as with men (Hageman 573). Philips also modeled the male style of uniting spirits and bodies.

            Like many female writers of the seventeenth century, Philips took a traditionally male convention and applied it to female experience, thus providing a forum for their female voices to speak (Mermin 343). Mermin sees the results as revolutionary because Orinda:

            … speaks as a woman, to a woman, usurping the position of the male speaker rather than responding to a man or a male tradition that has spoken first” (Mermin 343).

            In writing about female friendship, Philips gave them value, not only in a literary sense, but in the realm of human relationships. By following the male poetic traditions in her friendship poems, Philips avoided being perceived as threatening to the powers that be. And yet she actually gave power to women by valuing their relationships. New scientific knowledge about the placement of the planets was seen as threatening to current religious beliefs. Through Philips, women found a way to value each other and to speak without posing a threat to patriarchy.

            Most women can probably relate to taking “back seat” status when a woman friend obtains a boyfriend. Her friend is willing to forfeit much of the female relationships to make herself totally available to her lover, thus devaluing the female relationships. Devaluing our relationships is a part that we ourselves play in perpetrating patriarchy.

            Many of Philips’ poems were romantic in nature. I think that many women view romance in a magical sense. The white knight in shining armor ideology is not dead and could be seen as a woman’s magical thinking, especially since science was not perceived to be within the realm of possibilities for women in the seventeenth century. (Teacher – in what sense) It doesn’t seem far fetched to imagine that women writers might use romantic friendship poems with other women as a way to fantasize about what an equal romantic relationship might be like and as a way of coping with their lower social status.

“To My Excellent Lucasia, On Our Friendship”

            Mermin refers to Donne’s and the Cavalier poets’ work as aspiring to a perfect, paradoxical union of souls, canonization of their lovers, casual elegance, along with Metaphysical hyperbole and wit (343). She compares Philip’s amatory poem “To My Excellent Lucasia, On Our Friendship” with this traditional male style:

            “I did not live until this time

                        Crown’d my felicity,

            When I could say without a crime,

                        I am not thine, but Thee.

                        …..

            No bridegroom’s nor crown-conqueror’s mirth

                        To mine compar’d can be:

            They have but pieces of this Earth,

                        I’ve all the World in thee” (Mermin 343).

            Mermin says Philip’s amatory poems lack the dramatic tension between flesh and spirit present in Donne’s amatory verse (Mermin 343). Mernim describes Philips’ work as asexual and respectable, despite the quasi-Sapphic theme and did not give rise to any societal sanction because of the blindness to the possibility of female homosexuality at the time (Mermin 343). She claims to perceive Philips as speaking the language of courtly love without hearing any “unseemly” overtones (Mermin 343).

            Stiebel views “To My Excellent Lucasia…” as Philips’ soul actually becoming Lucasia not simply that Lucasia gave life to her soul (157). As united immortal souls the speaker is given similar attributes as a “bridegroom” or a “crown-conqueror”, while at the same time, remain innocent because they are females (Stiebel 157).

            Stiebel compares “To My Excellent Lucasia…” with Donne’s “The Sun Rising”:

            “She’s all states, and all princes I / Nothing else is” (Stiebel 157).

Stiebel claims that Donne forces the reader to view their relationship as traditional courtly desire that goes through a transformation to a sacramental union where soul-mates share the divine (Stiebel 157). Donne as speaker invokes spirituality and innocent design to justify the use of excessive language (Stiebel 157). This is further illustrated in the poem:

            “As innocent as our design,

            Immortal as our soul” (Stiebel 165-166).

            Stiebel further claims that traditional readings of Philips’ friendship poems have either ignored or denied the lesbian sexuality of her verses, dismissing them as asexual examples of the current literary vernacular (Stiebel 153). Stiebel says that Mermin’s use of “unseemly” relates her attitude about female homosexuality (153).

            Stiebel discusses Faderman’s study in which she insists that “historically there was no such thing as a `lesbian” (Stiebel 154). Another reason that Philips could claim that love between two women was innocent is because, as Queen Victoria asked, “What could women do?” (Stiebel 158). In a culture that defines sexual behavior with linkage to male anatomy, sex without men was not only unthinkable, it was impossible (Stiebel 158).

            Since the Renaissance had no concept of lesbianism, female poets were free to let their creativity flow within the acceptable framework of female friendship poetry. Women writers today couldn’t write the same poetry without homosexuality being questioned, simply because the concept of homosexuality is a part of our public discourse – it is a part of our reality.

            As I see it, women were trying to use men as role models, but of course the fit is not always appropriate. It was not socially acceptable for women to be assertive with love for men, so they directed themselves toward something they had experience with, intimate friendships with other women. I think that any woman today could relate to the level of intimacy and level of acceptance that you can share with a woman friend. It seems to me that Philips did a splendid job modeling traditional male amatory style in the above poem to Lucasia.

            I think that both authors’ perceptions make valid points. Society certainly has tried to ignore and/or deny homosexuality in general, so it wouldn’t seem surprising that seventeenth century readers wouldn’t “see” the possibility in Philips work. I can also see that her friendship poems could easily be read as asexual, modeling male conventions. One’s perception might  originate from one’s attitude and comfort with the topic of homosexuality. From my feminist perspective, I think that it is certainly possible that Philips was a lesbian. For me, it’s not an issue. What I value is her talent and courage as a woman to write at the time she did, and the fact that her voice was and is being heard. She gave value to women’s life experiences, which realistically does include heterosexual and/or homosexual   perspectives.

 “Orinda To Lucasia”

            Philips compared herself to nature in “Orinda to Lucasia”:

            “Observe the weary birds ere night be done,

            How they would fain call up the tardy Sun,

                        With feathers hung with dew,

                        And trembling voices too,

            They court their glorious planet to appear,

            That they may find recruits of spirits there.

                        The drooping flowers hang their heads,

                        And languish down into their beds:

            While brooks more bold and fierce than they,

                        Wanting those beams, from whence

                        All things drink influence,

            Openly murmur and demand the day”  (Mermin 344).

            Mermin claims that Orinda compares herself to nature awaiting the fecundating sun, the image of male sexual force, frequently used my women poets (344). 

            Stiebel says Lucasia is the sun who will restore the light and energy of the day (life) to Orinda, who calls for her friend to appear like the birds, flowers and brooks call for their own rebirth at a delayed sunrise (156-157). Lucasia means more to her than the sun to the world and if Lucasia doesn’t arrive soon she will see her die rather than be able to save her (Stiebel 156-157). The conventional oxymoronic terms such as light versus dark, day versus night, presence versus absence and life versus death are what Orinda used (Stiebel 156-157). Elements of nature were used to reflect her state of being, and in a reversal of the magnitude of traditional significance, illustrated microcosmically in relation to the macrocosm of Orinda’s feelings (Stiebel 156-157).   

            Since I believe that artists are unconsciously relating a sense of their time, I don’t necessarily think that Orinda was referring to a sexual power. Why not the innate power of her spirit to be free in the controlled time in which she was part. I get an image of her definitely using nature to illustrate powerful hierarchy, like the brooks being more powerful than the flowers and yet all desiring the beams to “drink” in influence (which IS power).

            Mermin labeled the sun “fecundating”; other definitions of the word are: to make fruitful, prolific, to fertilize, to impregnate, fertile, and rich in inventive power. I think Mermin was really making a stretch in relating it to male sexual power.

            I agree Orinda probably saw herself as a flower compared to the brook, but I fail to see any sexual reference. Any woman who was bold enough to write at that time was a strong woman for whom power would not only rest within a sexual frame. I value the power to write freely what your spirit (your unconscious voice) brings to you from the universe, rather than having to write artlessly and avoid fracturing any male egos. As a woman who likes to write I can identify with Orinda’s “demanding the day”. She wanted her voice to be heard, she wanted to be taken seriously, I cannot begin to see how Mermin makes sexual connections. I can see that women did identify themselves with nature.

Male Responses

     Mermin says that women writers were praised easily, if not condescendingly (336). She provides an example of what one of Philip’s editors said in a preface of her published poems: would be no disgrace to the name of any Man that amongst us is most esteemed for his excellency in this kind, and there are none that may not pass with favour, when it is remembered that they fell hastily from the pen but of a Woman (Mermin 336). Abraham Cowley said that Philips was, “the only genuine woman poet known to history” (Mermin 337).

Cowley wrote of her in verse:

            We allow’d you beauty,

            and we did submit

            To all the tyrannies of it,

            Ah cruel Sex!”

            will you dispose us too in Wit? (Mermin 336).

The Earl of Orrery wrote to Mrs. Philips:

            In me it does not the least trouble breed,

            That your fair sex does ours,

            in verse exceed (Mermin 336).

            Even a century and a half later Keats prefaced his praise for her poems with a nasty snarl at intellectual women (Mermin 337).

An anonymous woman commented felicitously:

            Thou glory of our sex, envy of men,

            Who are both pleas’d and vex’d with thy bright pen (Mermin 337).

            Philips’ physical person, her beauty, was generally the prime target of criticism (Mermin 338). Henry Vaughn said of her:

            language Smiles, and accents rise

            As quick, and pleasing as your Eyes,

            The Poem smooth, and in each line

            Soft as your selfe (Mermin 338).

The beauty and virtue of her poetry are the same as her body; they are thus both exposed (Mermin 338).

            The quotations certainly illustrate men’s attitudes towards Philips.

Conclusion

            Around 1663 a group of Philips’ poems fell into the hands of a London publisher Richard Marriott; he filed to print a pirated edition on November 25, 1663 (Limbert 181). Philips was in London at the time to do business for her husband and to see that her friends were able to suppress the pirated edition (Limbert 181). While still in London, she died of small pox on June 22, 1664 (Limbert 181). Philips’ legacy included publishing one volume of verses, one of letters, and the translation of two plays (Williamson 19).

            Philips claimed for women the ability to build and sustain friendships, to voice healthy skepticism about love and marriage, to realize identity and integrity in private worlds, and to write about their personal experience (Williamson 78). For a woman of middling background who died at thirty-three in a chaotic age, this was not a meager achievement (Williamson 78).  

            I am willing to bet that many people today, not having studied women’s history, have an image of women as quite passive historically. Many people today if asked might say that feminists’ voices came about in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s – the modern feminist movement. I know that women have been trying to scream out for equality, in whatever way they could, since time began.

            In conclusion the words of Wilson seem to sum it all up:

            Participation – any participation – in the shaping of language is social power. The written word as a signifier of status and power, is capable of bestowing parity to male and female in that privileged space. The literary labor of Renaissance women writers thus articulates a desire, however subliminal, for the status and power which that equality             implies. Assuming the voice of a poet, engaging in the shaping, defining and ordering of experience, participating in constructing and creating, women of the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries could temporarily offset the hierarchies of gender and become the equals of men in the act of creation (Wilson xxxii).

Works Cited

Hageman, Elizabeth H. “The Matchless Orinda: Katherine Philips.”  Women Writers of the Renaissance and          Reformation. Ed. Katharina M. Wilson. Athens: University of Georgia Press, 1987. 566-608.

Limbert, Claudia. “Two Poems and a Prose Receipt: The Unpublished Juvenilia of Katherine Philips” (text)   Women in the Renaissance. Ed. Kirby Farrell,   Elizabeth H. Hageman, and Arthur Kinney.  Amherst:             University of Massachusetts Press, 1988, 179-186.

Mermin, Dorothy. “Women Becoming Poets: Katherine Philips, Aphra Behn, Anne Finch.” English Literary     History 57.2 (1990): 335-356.

Mueller, Janel. “Lesbian Erotics: The Utopian Trope of Donne’s `Sapho to Philaenis.'” Homosexuality in            Renaissance and Enlightenment England: Literary Representations in Historical Context. Ed. Claude    J. Summers. New York: Harrington Press, 1992. 103-134.   

Stiebel, Arlene. “Not Since Sappho: The Erotic Poems of Katherine             Philips and Aphra Behn.” Homosexuality           in Renaissance and Enlightenment England: Literary Representations in Historical Context. Ed.       Claude J.  Summers. New York: Harrington Press, 1992. 103-134.  

Williamson, Marilyn L. RAISING THEIR VOICES British Women Writers, 1650-1750. Detroit: Wayne State     UP, 1990.

Wilson Katharina M. Ed. Introduction. Women Writers of the Renaissance and Reformation. Athens:             University of Georgia Press, 1987.    

“To My Excellent Lucasia, On Our Friendship”

            “I did not live until this time

                        Crown’d my felicity,

            When I could say without a crime,

                        I am not thine, but thee.

            This carcass breath’d, and walkt, and slept,

                        So that the world believ’d

            There was a soul the motions kept;

                        But they all were deceiv’d.

            For as a watch by art is wound

                        To motion, such was mine:

            But never had Orinda found

                        A soul till she found thine;

            Which now inspires, cures, and supplies,

                        And guides my darkned breast:

            For thou art all that I can prize,

                        My joy, my life, my rest.

            No bridegroom’s nor crown-conqueror’s mirth

                        To mine compar’d can be:

            They have but pieces of the earth,

                        I’ve all the World in thee.

            Then let our flames still light and shine,

                        And no false fear controul,

            As innocent as our design,

                        Immortal as our soul.”                          (Stiebel 165-166)

“Orinda to Lucasia”

            “Observe the weary birds ere night be done,

            How they would fain call up the tardy sun,

                        With feathers hung with dew,

                        And trembling voices too.

            They court their glorious planet to appear,

            That they may find recruits of spirits there.

                        The drooping flowers hang their heads,

                        And languish down into their beds:

            While brooks more bold and fierce than they

                        Wanting those beams, from whence

                        All things drink influence,

            Openly murmur and demand the day.

            Thou my Lucasia are far more to me,

            Than he to all the under-world can be;

                        From thee I’ve heat and light,

                        Thy absence makes my night.

            But ah! my friend, it now grows very long;

            The sadness weighty, and the darkness strong:

                        My tears (its dew) dwell on my cheeks,

                        And still my heart thy dawning seeks,

            And to thee mournfully it cries,

                        That if too long I wait,

                        Ev’n thou may’st come too late,

                        And not restore my life, but close my eyes.”

(Stiebel 165)

“Friendship’s Mystery. To My Dearest Lucasia.”

            “Come, my Lucasia, since we see

                        That Miracles Mens faith do move,

            By wonder and by prodigy

                        To the dull angry world let’s prove

                        There’s a Religion in our Love.

            For though we were design’d t’agree,

                        That Fate no liberty destroyes,

            But our Election is as free

                        As Angels, who with greedy choice

                        Are yet determin’d to their joyes.

            Our hearts are doubled by the loss,

                        Here Mixture is addition grown;

            We both diffuse, and both ingross:

                        And we whose minds are so much one,

                        Never, yet ever are alone.

            We court our own Captivity

                        Than Thrones more great and innocent:

            ‘Twere banishment to be set free,

                        Since we wear fetters whose intent

                        Not Bondage is, but Ornament.

            Divided joys are tedious found,

                        And griefs united easier grow:

            We are our selves but by rebound,

                        And all our Titles shuffled so,

                        Both Princes, and both Subjects too.

            Our Hearts are mutual Victims laid,

                        While they (such power in Friendship lies)

            Are Alters, Priests, and Off’rings made:

                        And each Heart which thus kindly dies,

                        Grows deathless by the Scarifice.” ( Hageman 588-589)

“A Retir’d Friendship. To Ardelia”

            “Come, my Ardelia, to this Bower

                        Where kindly mingling Souls awhile

            Lets innocently spend an hour,

                        And at all serious follies smile.

            Here is no quarrelling for Crowns,

                        Nor fear of changes in our Fate;

            No trembling at the great ones frowns,

                        Nor any slavery of State.

            Here’s no disguise  nor treachery,

                        Nor any deep conceal’d design;

            From Bloud and Plots this Place is free

                        And calm as are those looks of thine.

            Here let us sit and bless our Stars

                        Who did such happy quiet give,

            As that remov’d from noise of Wars 

                        In one anothers hearts we live.

            Why should we entertain a fear?

                        Love cares not how the World is turned:

            If crouds of dangers should appear,

                        Yet friendship can be unconcern’d.

            We wear about us such a charm,

                        No horrour can be our offence;

            For mischief’s self can do no harm

                        To Friendship or to Innocence.

            Let’s mark how soon Apollo’s beams

                        Commands the flocks to quit their meat,

            And not entreat the neighbouring streams

                        To quench their thirst, but coole their heat.

            In such a scorching Age as this

                        Who would not ever seek a shade,

            Deserve their Happiness to miss,

                        As having their own peace betray’d.

            But we (of one anothers mind

                        Assur’d) the bois’trous World distain;

            With quiet Souls and unconfin’d

                        Enjoy what princes wish in vain.” (Hageman 592-593)

Philips Juvenilia

            “No blooming youth shall ever make me err

            I will the beauty of the mind prefer

            If himans rites shall call me hence

            It shall be with some man of sence

            Nott with the great butt with a good estate

            Nott too well read nor yet illetterate

            In all his actions moderate grave & wise

            Redyer to bear than offer injuries

            And in good works a constant doer

            Faithfull in promise & liberall to the poor

            He thus being quallified is allways seen

            Ready to serve his friend his country & his king

            Such men as these yout say there are but a few

            Their hard to find & I must grant it too

            Butt if I ever hap to change my life

            Its only such a man shall call me wife.

                                                            Humbly Dedicated too Mrs. Anne Barlow

                                                            C. Fowler”                    (Limbert 185-186)

Excerpts from the poem on the reverse side:

            “A marry’d state affords but little Ease

            The best of husbands are so hard to please

            This in wifes Carefull faces you may spell

            Tho they desemble their misfortunes well

            A virgin state is crownd with much content

            Its allways happy as its inocent

            No Blustering husbands to create y’r fears

            No pangs of child birth to extort y’r tears

            No childrens crys for to offend your ears

            Few worldly crosses to distract y’r prayers   

            Thus you are freed from all the cares that do

            Attend on matrymony & a husband too

            Therefore Mad’m be advised my me

            Turn apostate to loves Levity

            Supress wild nature if she dare rebell

            Theres no such thing as leading Apes in hell” (Limbert 186)

POLITICAL POEM

            Orinda wrote to a private audience, about private life; she even pretended to do so when her subject was quite public and political:

            “I think not on the State, nor am concern’d

            Which way soever the great helm is turn’d.”

            She says this despite the fact that she was writing about the most political event of her time, the regicide of King Charles I. Which she claimed justified, “the breach of Nature’s laws” – her writing. (Mermin 341) The great power in the ideology of women’s lower status in the fact that women themselves believe it too, as the above illustrates.

            One might compare Philips with McClintock in that she was without question excellent, was recognized as such by male peers, but lacked acclaim, acceptance and privilege of style afforded to men. One way she differs from McClintock is that she “played the system” using her womenly wiles to get men to act in her behalf; this was not McClintock’s style. 

INVITATION TO THE COUNTRY

            In writing of friendship Orinda had Francis Finch as a role model. She compared his “Discourse of Friendship” which served as inspiration to her, to the Northern Star, guiding men, like wandering mariners, to their happiness. (Williamson 71)

            “Invitation to the Country” was a poem that illustrates Philips linking retirement poetry with friendship (a popular style at the time). The speaker says tells Rosania that the country life allows understanding of the true values of the world, nature, and the Deity:

            “Man unconcern’d without himself may be

            His own both Prospect and Security.

            Kings may be slaves by their own Passions hurl’d,

            But who commands himself commands the World.

            A Country-life assists this study best,

            Where no distractions do the Soul arrest;

            There Heav’n and Earth lie open to our view,

            There we search Nature and its Author too.

            …………………………………….

            There (my Rosania) will we, mingling Souls,

            Pity the Folly which the World controuls.” (Williamson 71).

—————————————————————————————————————————–

2-12-95    

Paper Topic and Preliminary Bibliography

            I want to learn about Katherine Philips and Aphra Behn, both seventeenth century poets. I plan to learn about historic poetry and at the same time serve one of my feminist goals, to assist in bringing women’s voices to the center of intellectual public discussion. I want to learn how they perceived the reality of the seventeenth century differently than those I have already studied.  

Bibliography in progress:

Farrell, Kirby., Hageman, Elizabeth., Kinney Arthur. ed Women in the Renaissance.  Amherst: University of   Massachusetts Press: 1988

Gallagher, Catherine. Rev. of The Works of Aphra Behn v1 Poetry, by Aphra Behn. The Times Literary          Supplement. v. no 4719, Sept 10, 1993: 3-4.

Goreau, Angeline. Reconstructing Aphra. New York: Dial Press., 1980.

Limbert, Claudia. “The Poetry of Katherine Philips: Holographs,  Manuscripts, and Early Printed Texts”.            Philological Quarterly. v. 70 Spring 1991: 181-98.

Limbert, Claudia. The Collected Works of Katherine Philips, the Matchless Orinda v1 The Poems, by     Kathrine Philips. Philological Quarterly. v. 70, Fall 1991: 503-5.  

Loscocco, Paula. “`Manly Sweetness’: Katherine Philips Among the Neoclassicals”.  The Huntington Library           Quarterly v. 56, Summer 1993: 259-79.  

Mermin, Dorothy. “Women Becoming Poets: Katherine Philips, Aphra Behn, Anne Finch”, English Literary     History. 57.2 1990: 335-56.

Mueller, Janel. “Lesbian Erotics: The Utopian Trope of Donne’s “Sapho to Philaenis.””  Homosexuality in          Renaissance and Enlightenment England: Literary Representations in Historical Context Ed. Claude     J. Summers. New York:  Harrington Press., 1992. 103-134.         

Mulvihill, Maureen, E. Rev. of The Collected Works of Katherine Philips, the Matchless Orinda v1 The   Poems, by Katherine Philips. Eighteenth-Century Studies. v. 26, Winter 1992\93: 346-9. 700.5 E34

Souers, Philip Webster. The Matchless Orinda. Cambridge: Harvard UP, 1931. 

Stiebel, Arlene. “Not Since Sappo: The Erotic Poems of Katherine Philips and Aphra Behn.” Homosexuality in       Renaissance and Enlightenment England: Literary Representations in Historical Context Ed. Claude        J. Summers. New York: Harrington Press., 1992.

Summers, Montague, Ed. The Works of Aphra Behn. London, 1915.

Williamson, Marilyn L. RAISING THEIR VOICES British Women Writers, 1650-1750.  Detroit: Wayne State University Press., 1990.  

HAVE:

Cerasano, S.P., and Marion Wynne-Davies. Ed. GLORIANA’S FACE Women, Public and Private, in the English        Renaissance. Detroit: Wayne State University Press., 1992.

Travitsky, Betty. Ed The Paradise of Women Writings by Englishwomen of the Renaissance New York: Columbia University Press: 1989. 

Migiel, Marilyn and Juliana Schiesari. Ed Refiguring Woman Perspectives on Gender and the Italian        Renaissance  Ithaca: Cornell University Press: 1991. 

Wilson, Katharina, M. Ed Women Writes of the Renaissance and Reformation  Athens: The University of          Geogia Press: 1987.

Williamson, Marilyn L. RAISING THEIR VOICES British Women Writers, 1650-1750  Detroit: Wayne State     University Press.,  1990.  

            The reality of lesbianism tried to be perceived as the reality that it was. Lesbian spirits longed for freedom, acceptance and expression.

            They faced great difficulty being just another accepted reality of life. More difficult than “the breaking of the circle”, more difficult than Harvey’s new ideas about circulation.

            Only man’s ingrained ATTITUDES and inability to easily rise above them prevents faster human knowledge and growth. Lesbians tried to come out in the Renaissance – their world refused to perceive it.

            Gayness not a moral question, just a part of reality, a part of nature.

            Man seeks to generalize our minds try to correlate with what we already understand to make things “fit” in our already molded attitudes. Why such barriers to the continuum of sexuality and\or preference? As Nicholson said, Old habits die hard”.

Boswell, John. Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe From the     Beginning of the Christian Era to the 14th Century Chicago: University of Chicago Press., 1980.             Recently (1-95) died of Aids (Winner: American Book Award for History, 1981)

Saslow, James. Ganymede in the Renaissance: Homosexuality in Art & Society. 1986

Bray, Alan. “Homosexuality in Renaissance England”. 1982                  

Saslow, James. Ganymede in the Renaissance: Homosexuality in Art & Society. 1986

Lesbians: Coming Out for Equality

Pat Anderson

De Paul University, Fall 1996

Inequality in American Society, PSC 324

Stan Howard, Ph.D.

Lesbian Lives: Historical Plight for Inclusion

            Other than the occasional sighting of a “stone bull dyke,” the stereotypical lesbian drag king, lesbians have been relatively invisible. Before I came out as a lesbian five years ago I had never knowingly met a lesbian and initially had no idea where I might find “them.” Within the last few years lesbian visibility has become more common. Most heterosexuals could probably actually think of a lesbian they knew by name: Rock star, Melissa Etheridge, recording artist, K.D. Lang and Martina is all you need to say to bring the tennis legend to mind. Of course, this has not been always been the case …

            Historians have discovered lesbian ghettos all the way back to the early sixth century BC. Because of the stigma and shame implied, women of past generations rarely admitted their attraction to women. Closeted lifestyles kept them from social critique (Ettorre 248).

            According to Arlene Stiebel (1992), historically speaking there was no such thing as a lesbian (154). She has written about the relative ease of lesbian relationships during the Renaissance. Lesbian authors wrote openly about their romantic friendships with each other without fear of discovery. During the Renaissance there was no sex without penetration, thus lesbian relationships could only be viewed as innocent. Queen Victoria once asked, “What could women do” (Stiebel 158)? Phallocentric culture defines sex around the penis, so sex without a male is impossible (Stiebel 158).          

            The history of the word homosexual is illustrative of society’s abnormal and distorted image of it. When it was first used in the eighteen fifties, homosexual referred to males and females and meant the inability to have a “normal” erection (Unger & Crawford 345). During the nineteenth century, many North American women lived and wrote about their lesbian lives together, yet they were not labeled lesbians (Unger & Crawford 346).

            Traditional discourse on homosexuality has revolved around males. Lesbians had little credibility and their social relevance was merely to delight male fantasies. Acceptable sexuality for women always involved male partners (Ettorre 247).

            Lesbians were originally excluded from the civil rights, women’s and gay liberation movements of the late nineteen sixties. Many gay men in the Gay Liberation Front (GLF) held the same sexist assumptions about women’s roles as heterosexual men (Marotta 238). They faced sexism within the gay liberation movement itself.  Lesbian issues were even excluded within the National Organization for Women (NOW).

            According to Toby Marotta (1981) lesbians were forced to begin their own separate lesbian feminist movement outside of NOW. One of the groups formed to work toward lesbian inclusion was the Radicalesbians (Marotta 230). Rita Mae Brown was forced to resign from NOW after failing to obtain NOW’s approval to include lesbian concerns. NOW leaders were uneasy about Brown’s open lesbianism and weren’t willing to officially use their voice to speak for lesbians (Marotta 234). Just the mention of the word lesbian and NOW’s Executive Committee would have a collective heart attack (Marotta 235).

            Brown tried to get NOW members to see that by excluding lesbians they were oppressing other women. Brown reminded NOW members that the image they were trying to uphold was male-oriented (Marotta 235). By excluding lesbians, they were being obedient to patriarchy.

            The Radicalesbians had to encourage each other to express themselves freely due to the fact that male-identified lesbians had been ostracized for not meeting “female” standards of appearance and behavior (Marotta 314). In the nineteen seventies lesbians weren’t free to be who they really were even among themselves. Just like heterosexual women, lesbians internalize male-defined identities and inferiorities which results in self-hatred and group in-fighting. If feminists and gay men wanted to exclude lesbians, it’s not hard to extrapolate that society wasn’t any where near ready for lesbians to leave their closets.

            Historically, due to the denial of lesbian existence, heterosexuals were the ones in the closet. But once society stuck its awareness out of the closet and saw lesbians, it was lesbians who were shoved into the closet.  

Origin

            Heterosexism and homophobia are two theoretical frameworks that are inseparable in explaining lesbian exclusion. Heterosexism is the institutionalized assumption that everyone is heterosexual and if they’re not, they should be. This assumption then sets the stage for homophobia by assuming that the world is and must be heterosexual (Pharr 16). Heterosexism is also a value that uses religion to enforce homophobia. Heterosexist family values makes women loving males inherently superior and gives it the right of dominance.

            Because it’s a value of the ruling class, heterosexism holds enormous power. Pharr explains that its power is in defining norms and standards of righteousness that others are often judged in relation to (53). Norms are empowered through institutionalization, economic power and violence to make them complete. These norms represent the few with power (Pharr 53). Audre Lorde (1992) refers to American norms as “mythical norms”, they include being white, thin, male, heterosexual, Christian and financially secure (Lorde 214).  

            Homophobia is an irrational fear and hatred of people who love and sexually desire their own sex (Pharr 1). Homophobia acts as a social control because it encourages males to act more masculine just to prove they’re not gay. It also separates masculinity and femininity by discouraging men from exhibiting caring, gentleness or nurturing for fear of being accused of a so-called feminine trait (Anderson 37). Lesbians are threatening because they expose contradictions in our beliefs about biology, culture, sexuality, femininity and women in general (Ettorre 243). Our society is male-oriented and propagates sexual ideas that cater to the interests of the elite males (Ettorre 244).

            The power of homophobia and heterosexism is profound because it’s so intricately entrenched in American culture that most heterosexual people don’t see it and the harm it inflicts on lesbians. At a recent Anti-Homophobia workshop at De Paul University, Richard Friend (1996), referred to homophobia and heterosexism as a “loud silence.” Silent unconscious assumptions of heterosexuals that scream at the consciousness of homosexuals.

            Heterosexism and homophobia are enforcers of patriarchal power (Pharr 16-17). Together they attempt to control and limit sexuality. Heterosexuality is the only sexuality allowed. Lesbian sexuality excludes men so it’s labeled abnormal, unnatural and is relegated to closet expression.

                     Persistence        

            Homophobia and heterosexism maintain, reinforce and are actual off-springs of the Anglo-Saxon Protestant ethic. This dominant elite morality controls sexuality through heterosexism and homophobia. Because of its enormous power it’s morality is afforded credibility among most traditional religions. Rugged individualism is a value attributed to males. Lesbians are seen as disobedient “Others”, despite the rugged individualism it takes to survive in a hostile heterosexist culture.

            Internalized homophobia has worked to keep lesbians isolated from other lesbians and when combined with compulsory heterosexuality makes lesbians feel unacceptable. Without visible role models in society, lesbians feel different, alone and end up blaming themselves (Pharr 71).

            Passing, or appearing to be heterosexual, is a tactic that has allowed many lesbians to hide, thus attaining heterosexual privilege. But passing prevents lesbians from meeting and bonding with one another (Pharr 72). This phenomenon has also prevented lesbians from becoming politically and socially active in fighting homophobia (Pharr 73).      

            Religious words and phrases like “abomination”, “crime against nature”, “sick”, “evil”, “sinful” are used to label homosexuals. When you grow up internalizing these ideas it makes it difficult to accept being a lesbians to one’s self, let alone to develop a political consciousness or more importantly a healthy self-worth (Ettorre 247). This powerful degradation of the self is similar to what blacks have experienced through fallacious claims of inferiority.

            The fear of lesbianism is so bad in the black community that it has led Black women into testifying against each other; some have been led into destructive alliances, others into isolation and despair. Black lesbians are viewed as threats to Black nationhood, as enemies and as un-Black. This keeps black women in hiding between homophobia of blacks and racism of white women (Lorde 219-220). Being a lesbian adds an additional cultural layer to one’s identity. Diverse identities among women has separated them from other cultural aspects of themselves and from each other.

            Our culture has institutionalized sexuality and uses all its avenues to implant the dominant ideology about sexuality. Social status is granted for obeying the norms (Ettorre 244). Those who don’t fit are viewed as “Other” and labeled abnormal, deviant, inferior and not completely human. Norms don’t understand the “Others”, but “Others” always understand the “Norm” in order to protect themselves. The “Other’s” life is kept invisible, if an oppressed group is not seen it enforces the notion that the “Norm” is the majority – “Others” don’t exist or count (Pharr 58). Unless we demand expansion of the “Norms” to include alternative sexualities, lesbian status as “Other” will be maintained, even among women and lesbians themselves.    

            “Others” are labeled with negative stereotypes that dehumanize them and serve to allow “Norms” to justify exclusion (Pharr 59). Homophobic labels depict lesbians as child molesters and perverts; they’re threatening to “family values” and they recruit heterosexual women. (One wonders what societal perks are used as sales tactics by recruiters). These labels provide plenty of rationale for discriminating against lesbians. Lesbians internalize these negative stereotypes and images that also blame them for their situation; this leads to low self-esteem and self-blame (Pharr 59). Heterosexist “norms” and values maintain women’s dependence on men, male/female role playing and penile sexuality.

            Lesbians share a zero-sum phenomenon similar to what African Americans have experienced – any perceived gains for blacks are seen as losses for whites. Some criticize the feminist movement and assumed that work done on behalf of women is work done against men (Pharr 24). It is assumed that because lesbians have stepped out of sexual and economic dependence on men that they hate and are against men. Lesbians threaten male dominance, control and the nuclear family (Pharr 18). This ideology poses a threat to all women in that any woman who fights for the rights of women or steps out of her prescribed role risks being labeled a lesbian. Once labeled as a lesbian there is no real way to prove one’s sexuality (Pharr 19). This fear prevents many women from joining the feminist movement and decreases the odds that all women’s inclusion will be attained. It is wrongly assumed that most feminists are lesbians and that all lesbians are feminists. Thus many women who believe in feminist ideology deny being a feminist because it means being labeled a man-hater and/or lesbian (Pharr 24). Many heterosexual women see lesbians as standing in contradiction to the sacrifices they make in conforming to mandatory heterosexuality (Pharr 18). These commonly held misperceptions serve to perpetuate the exclusion of lesbians and women in general. The effects of homophobia and heterosexism go hand in hand maintaining lesbian exclusion. 

          Consequences

            Lesbians share economic parity with women in general who make less money than men. The combined income of two lesbians is less than a household with a male and female or two gay men. Sometimes the sheer force of economics encourages lesbians who are dating to move in together before either of them are ready to do so emotionally.

            Economics is a weapon used to control women and lesbians. The National Commission on Working Women claims that the average woman earns sixty four per cent of what men earn (Pharr 10). The economic weapon works particularly well to keep lesbians in the closet for fear of loosing their jobs. In order to survive financially they’re sometimes forced to tolerate abuse and isolation at work (Pharr 12-13).

            Lesbians loose jobs, fail to get a promotions, face discrimination or can even be seen as a liability in the work place because of their sexuality. It’s as if heterosexuals could be corrupted and contaminated in the presence of a lesbian (Ettorre 246).

            Lesbians who develop committed relationships with one another do not enjoy equal status with heterosexual couples. They have not been recognized as a couple so even the idea of domestic partnership benefits, marriage, survivor benefits, hospital visitation rights for partners, adoption of one of the partners children and even maintaining custody of their own children has been a struggle for those who dared to admit being lesbians.

            Lesbians risk loosing custody of their children just because they’re lesbians, even if the other parent is a known abuser (Pharr 21). There are written and unwritten laws that prevent lesbians from adopting and fostering children due to an irrational fear that children will be influenced to become homosexual or will be abused. Despite the fact that ninety five percent of child sexual abusers are heterosexual men there are no policies to prevent heterosexual men from teaching or working with children (Pharr 22).

            In nineteen ninety six, the Federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) failed to pass by one vote. This law would have outlawed workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Today lesbians and gays can be fired or not hired merely for being homosexual.

            In nineteen ninety six lesbians and gays rights were given another blow when the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) passed. This act truly demonstrated the homophobia of legislators. They pass a bill preventing recognition of gay marriages BEFORE gay marriages are even legal! It was certainly defensive posturing of congressional officials. It’s almost as if the gain of lesbian and gay marriage would somehow mean losses for heterosexual marriages – zero sum thinking again. Homophobia propagates the myth that if lesbians and gays are allowed to marry and gain spousal benefits there won’t be enough for heterosexuals. Wouldn’t marriage actually make lesbians conform? This is an example of wasteful discriminatory energy.   

            Many lesbians are not accepted by their own family and friends. Many are literally thrown out of their homes when they come out. Inferiority is a powerful control mechanism propagated by homophobia and heterosexism. It takes a profound toll on the self esteem of lesbians. They suffer serious psychological problems accepting themselves because of societal rejection. One young woman described her experience growing up in a homophobic home. It was as if she were a Jewish kid raised in a Nazi home (Friend 1996). 

            Lesbians and gay men are subjected to being beaten, raped, killed, subjected to aversive therapy and placed in mental hospitals just for being who they are (Pharr 23). Despite the fact that the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from their list of diagnosis in nineteen seventy three (Unger & Crawford 347), a recent 20\20 show (American Broadcasting 1996) told the story of teenage girl whose mother kidnapped her and brought her to a mental hospital for treatment when she found out she was a lesbian. The girl reported that many of the other teens there were also being treated for being gay.

            Depression and suicide can be the results of being subjected to societal hatred (Pharr 23). According to Richard Friend (1996) suicide is epidemic among gay young people and is the leading cause of death in gay teens. Its two to three times higher than the heterosexual rate. The leading indicator of a potential suicide in a gay male teen is effeminacy; they’re most likely to be harassed and to commit suicide. This also reflects the drastic nature of sexism in that a male is most hated for being like a female (Friend 1996).

            The right-wing perspective sees women’s self determination and control over their own bodies as threatening to the nuclear family so one of their main focuses has been on homosexuality (Pharr 17). The religious right exhibits it’s heterosexism and homophobia through it’s sin theory that relies upon the bible for evidence. Discrimination against homosexuals is justified through biblical translations, despite the fact that the word homosexual doesn’t appear in the bible. English biblical translations exhibited bias against homosexuals that has served to limit their civil and human rights (Pharr 3). Eight alleged biblical references to homosexuals must be looked at within the context of hundreds of references to the need to justly distribute wealth. Not many people reference the bible to argue for a redistribution of wealth (Pharr 3).

            Concerns of the religious-political right are shared even by those who don’t necessarily identify with their view about homosexuality being a prime contributor to America’s spiritual degeneracy (Corbett 187). Surveys have shown that eighty percent of Americans think that homosexuality is nearly or always wrong (Corbett 188). Being labeled immoral is spiritually degrading.

            Homosexuals are the most frequent victim of hate crimes. A recent Jenni Jones show demonstrated just how bad people feel about gays. A gay man on the show said that he liked a man who was heterosexual. The heterosexual man shot and killed the gay man simply for saying he liked him. Apparently it’s better to be known as a murderer than to being in any way associated with being gay (Friend 1996).

            Last August two anti-gay murders were committed in Oklahoma. Albert Bixler was beaten to death with a tire iron and Charles Meers was beaten, stabbed, shot, doused with gasoline and then lit on fire. Fred Mangione was stabbed to death outside of a bar in Houston. An Oregon lesbian couple, Michelle Abdill and Roxana Kay Ellis, were murdered last September (Outlines 20).

            In order to maintain power violence and the threat of violence must be used (Pharr 55). The interplay of institutional and person violence is expressed against gays and lesbians through written and unwritten laws. Whether or not it’s police harassment or lack of police protection gays and lesbians are assaulted (Pharr 56). Lesbians also face rape, battering and abuse, the same as heterosexual women, which is frequently not honored in the courts (Pharr 57).

            David Mixner (1993) is an openly gay man and political consultant. He’s also been a close personal friend to Bill Clinton. He receives four to five death threats a week.

            The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Teachers Association asked teachers how their gay and lesbian students were doing. Teachers responded that they had no idea – a telling revelation about the school room climate. Several teachers at the Anti-Homophobia Workshop used the phrase, “hostile hallways” to describe what gay young people face going from class to class.  

            Lesbians and gays experience systematic exclusion within education because there are no images or role models presented. When “greats,” like Walt Whitman, Gertrude Stein, Virginia Woolf (and many others) are discussed in classrooms there is no mention that they were gay. As a lesbian, if you don’t learn about lesbians who did anything worthwhile you think you’re worthless (Anti-Homophobia Workshop). 

            School libraries (grammar and secondary) present a catch twenty two to gay students looking for information on homosexuality. Books on gays are in the reference section, kids who are looking for these books don’t want to ask for them. The libraries put the books in reference because the kids are so desperate for information that they’re afraid they’ll steal the books. Another problem is that information on homosexuality is placed with prostitution, pedophilia, deviance and women in prison (Anti-Homophobia Workshop).

            Members of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Teachers Association say that schools fail to protect lesbian and gay young people. Teachers fail to intervene when young people talk negatively about gays, they fear that if they speak up about gay bashing someone will think that they’re gay (Anti-Homophobia Workshop).

            On July 31, 1996, in the case of Nabozny v. Podlesny a school district in Wisconsin was found guilty for failing to stop anti-gay abuse. The United States Court of Appeals, for the Seventh Circuit, ruled that schools could be held liable under the federal equal protection act. The court covers Illinois, Indiana and Wisconsin and has in effect said that the “boys will be boys” excuse for ignoring gay abuse is illegal (Lambda). 

          Amelioration… Well Underway

            The nineteen eighties was a decade that brought positive media visibility to African Americans. The Bill Crosby show is only one example that attempted to dispel harmful myths and to present positive role models of African Americans. The nineteen nineties media is doing the same for lesbians. An example of one of innumerable television shows about lesbian and gay people was called, “The Gay 90’s: Sex, Power and Influence,” in which Maria Shriver (1993) labeled this decade the “Gay 90’s.” The show featured prominent and ordinary lesbians and gays who were proud of their identity.

            Visibility has the power to provide role models, dispel fear and enhance self esteem of lesbians. The willingness to be visible says that you’re not ashamed, that there is nothing to be ashamed of in being different. If lesbians can rise above the societally imposed shame about who they are on an individual level, they can, in turn teach society about the harmful nature of heterosexism and homophobia that we’ve all internalized.  Lesbians have to tell the world about their painful subjective experiences – how else could the world know? 

            One of the cures for phobias used by psychologists and counselors is desensitization. Desensitization provides gradual encounters with the fearful objects or situations allowing people to adjust and see that they can maintain control in the presence of cats or snakes, for instance. As more and more lesbians and gays come out hopefully the general public will become desensitized to homosexuality and overcome their homo “phobia”. People can and will learn  that walls don’t crumble in the presence of a lesbian or gay person.

Gay political organizations such as the Log Cabin Republicans, The Human Rights Campaign Fund, The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Astraea National Lesbian Action Foundation and The Illinois Federation for Human Rights are a big part of the solution. The Illinois states attorney’s office has lesbian and gay advocates available to assist lesbians and gays facing legal problems. This year the city of Chicago formed a gay chamber of commerce. 

            Classes at DePaul University such as: Lesbian Studies: Contemporary Fiction, Psychology of Women, and The Social Lesbian are very empowering for lesbian identity. Public radio (WBEZ) has shows discussing lesbians and gays issues almost daily. Prime time situation comedy’s now include gay characters. Almost everyone knows that Ellen’s character on Ellen is about to come out in the script. This show has the potential to use humor to teach precious lessons about understanding and tolerance. 

            I think amelioration is progressing well. More and more lesbians are coming out in all aspects of their lives. As more and more lesbians come out, it empowers more to come out. David Mixner (1993) said studies reveal that people who actually know a lesbian or gay person believe that they deserve equal rights. When we are invisible it’s easy to criticize and hate us.    

Works Cited

American Broadcasting Company. (1996) 20\20. ABC Television. September 27.

Anderson, Margaret L. 1993. Thinking About Women. Third  Edition. New York: MacMillan Publishing

Company.

Anti-Homophobia Workshop. DePaul University. October 24, 1996, Room, SAC 254.

Astrachan, Anthony. 1990. “Dividing Lines: Men’s Response to  Women’s Demands for Equality and Power”.            In Issues in Feminism. Ed. Sheila Ruth. Mountain View, CA: Mayfield Publishing Company. 72-79.

Corbett, Julia Mitchell. 1994. Religion in America. Second  Edition. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall. 

Ettorre, E. M. 1990. “A New Look at Lesbianism”. In Issues in  Feminism. Ed. Sheila Ruth. Mountain View,            CA:  Mayfield Publishing Company. 243-251.

Friend, Richard. (1996). “Interrupting Homophobia in the Schools.” Anti-Homophobia Workshop. DePaul            University. October 24, 1996, Room, SAC 254.

Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, Inc. 1996. Handout, Victory in the First Case Against a School    for Anti-Gay Abuse. “Lambda’s Nabozny Case: A Fact Sheet”.

Lorde, Audre. 1992. “Age, Race, Class and Sex: Women  Redefining Difference”. In Ethics: A Feminist      Reader.  Eds. Elizabeth Frazer., Jennifer Hornsby., & Sabina Lovibond. Cambridge  USA:    Blackwell. 212-222. 

Marotta, Toby. 1981. The Politics of Homosexuality. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.   

Mixner, David. 1993. The Gay 90’s: Sex, Power and Influence. Channel Five, WMAQ – TV: Chicago, IL. The             National Broadcasting Network. Television production called “First Person.”

Outlines: The Voice of the Gay and Lesbian Community. 1996. National News Round Up. October, vol 10, no          5:  20.

Pharr, Suzanne. 1988. Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism.  Little  Rock, AR: Chardon Press. Shriver, Maria.    1993. The Gay 90’s: Sex, Power and Influence. Channel Five, WMAQ -TV: Chicago, IL. The National          Broadcasting Network. Television production called “First Person.”

Stiebel, Arlene. 1992.  “Not Since Sappho: The Erotic Poems of Katherine Philips and Aphra Behn.”              Homosexuality in  Renaissance and Enlightenment England: Literary Representations in Historical    Context. Ed. Claude J. Summers. New York: Harrington Press, 103-134.

Unger, Rhoda and Crawford, Mary. 1992. Women and Gender:  A Feminist Psychology. New York: McGraw-    Hill, Inc.

Bibliography

American Broadcasting Company. (1996) 20\20. ABC Television. September 27.

Anderson, Margaret L. 1993. Thinking About Women. Third Edition. New York: MacMillan Publishing       Company.

Anti-Homophobia Workshop. DePaul University. October 24, 1996,  Room, SAC 254.

Astrachan, Anthony. 1990. “Dividing Lines: Men’s Response to Women’s Demands for Equality and Power”.            In Issues in Feminism. Ed. Sheila Ruth. Mountain View, CA: Mayfield Publishing Company. 72-79.

Corbett, Julia Mitchell. 1994. Religion in America. Second Edition. Englewoon Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall. 

Ettorre, E. M. 1990. “A New Look at Lesbianism”. In Issues in Feminism. Ed. Sheila Ruth. Mountain View, CA:     Mayfield Publishing Company. 243-251.

Friend, Richard. (1996). “Interrupting Homophobia in the Schools.” Anti-Homophobia Workshop. DePaul            University. October 24, 1996, Room, SAC 254.

Freud, Sigmond. “Femininity”. In Issues in Feminism. Ed. Ruth,  Sheila. Mountain View, CA: Mayfield             Publishing Company. 97-108.

Hagan Leigh, Kay. 1991. “Orchids in the Arctic: The Predicament of Women Who Love Men.” MS. November/December: 31-33.

Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, Inc. 1996. Handout, Victory in the First Case Against a School    for Anti-Gay Abuse. “Lambda’s Nabozny Case: A Fact Sheet”.

Lorde, Audre. 1992. “Age, Race, Class and Sex: Women  Redefining Difference”. In Ethics: A Feminist      Reader.  Eds. Elizabeth Frazer., Jennifer Hornsby., & Sabina Lovibond. Cambridge ,USA:    Blackwell. 212-222. 

Marotta, Toby. 1981. The Politics of Homosexuality. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.   

Mixner, David. 1993. The Gay 90’s: Sex, Power and Influence. Channel Five, WMAQ – TV: Chicago, IL. The             National Broadcasting Network. Television production called “First Person.”

Mueller, Janel. 1992. “Lesbian Erotics: The Utopian Trope of Donne’s `Sapho to Philaenis.'” Homosexuality            in Renaissance  and Enlightenment England: Literary Representations in Historical Context. Ed.    Claude J. Summers. New York: Harrington Press, 103-134.   

Outlines: The Voice of the Gay and Lesbian Community. 1996. National News Round Up. October, vol 10, no          5: 20.

Pharr, Suzanne. 1988. Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism. Little Rock, AR: Chardon Press.

Pogrebin, Letty Cottin. 1993. “The Secret Fear that keeps Us from Raising Free Children”. In Feminist  Frontiers.  Eds. L. Richardson and V. Taylor. 110-114.

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Shriver, Maria. 1993. The Gay 90’s: Sex, Power and Influence. Channel Five, WMAQ -TV: Chicago, IL. The National  Broadcasting Network. Television production called “First Person.”

Stiebel, Arlene. 1992.  “Not Since Sappho: The Erotic Poems of Katherine Philips and Aphra Behn.” Homosexuality in Renaissance and Enlightenment England: Literary Representations in Historical             Context. Ed. Claude J. Summers. New York: Harrington Press, 103-134.  

Unger, Rhoda and Crawford, Mary. 1992. Women and Gender: A Feminist Psychology. New York: McGraw-    Hill, Inc. 

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Nursing’s Ethics of Caring: A Feminist Ethical Perspective from the Trenches

Pat Anderson

Women Across Cultures, Masters in Liberal Studies 441, Spring 1995

Professor Aminah B. McCloud

September 4, 1995

Abstract

I examine nursing’s ethics of caring from the feminist perspective of a practicing registered nurse. Academic research is combined with thirty years of nursing experience: as a nurse’s aide, licensed practical nurse, and registered nurse. Opinions of philosophers, educators, researchers in psychology, and nurses are included. The view through my feminist and experiential lens, reveals an ethics of care that acts as a link in a chain of internalized oppression that merely enables nurses to survive in the patriarchal medical system. When the psychology of the health care system is illuminated and finally blended with the historical devaluation of women, it will become clear that the ethics of care is a tool to perpetuate the oppression of a predominately female profession. I go so far as to compare the psychology involved in the battered woman syndrome to the role of a nurse. The practical effect that the ethics of caring has on nursing, outside of “academic ivory towers,” negates its altruistic, humanitarian intention because nurses themselves are neither cared for nor valued. 

Table of Contents

Abstract

Nursing’s Ethics of Caring: A Feminist Ethical Perspective From The Trenches 

Ethics and Emotionality

Differences: Male\Doctor Versus Female\Nurse 

Impossible Expectations and No Decision Making Power

In-Between Status

No Where to Go to Deal With Ethical Issues

No Care for the Care Givers

Nurse Stress\Illness: Physical\Psychological

Health Care’s Hierarchal/Stratified “Family”

Psychology of the System

Solutions

Empowerment Ethics

Nursing Consciousness Raising

Nursing Ethics Committees

Revolution

Policy Making

Conclusion

References

Nursing’s Ethics of Caring: A Feminist Ethical Perspective from the Trenches

   Some authors claim the ethics of caring stemmed from traditional male theories, while others assert that it came about as a result of Gilligan’s work in the early eighties illustrating women’s “different voice” in morality. Regardless of it’s origination, the result has been that nursing’s ethics of caring has not functioned to empower nurses. Despite the fact that caring is indeed what most nurses feel and do, caring is not appropriate as an ethical framework. The ethics of caring is simply descriptive of what nurses do. My passionate belief in the basic tenets of feminist ethics and my experiential knowledge, from nursing’s trenches, is what has fueled by arguments. 

The main premise of feminist ethics is that people’s oppression must be included in the ethical discourse for it to truly be ethical. By denying oppression, patriarchy rationalizes that there isn’t a moral imperative to include it in their discussions. Not only does the health care system and traditional medical ethics not include nurse’s oppression in its discourse, its hierarchal structures maintain the oppression of nurses – thus treating nurses UNethically.

Medical ethics has the same hierarchal structure as the rest of society (Sherwin, 1992). Ethicists concern themselves with issues faced by doctors because they’re the ones in power. Problems vital to nurses and other health care workers are not addressed, suggesting whose work is valued and viewed as worth studying. Problems faced by caregivers are treated as irrelevant, despite the fact that difficulties they face might have a powerful effect on patient care (Sherwin, 1992). 

Traditional theories stem from abstract, universal rules where moral agents are not concrete individuals with their own lives that encompass unique histories, emotions, and desires. To traditional theorists, relationships, communities, and friendships do not affect moral judgments. Sichel (1992) compares a traditional moral agent with a placemark, a variable in an algebraic formula, being no better or worse than anybody else in that moral situation. Women’s morality stems from relational, caring perspectives in which each person and situation is considered in its uniqueness within its historical and sociological context including emotions. Despite caring’s focus on attitudes, feelings, and emotions, reasoning and intelligence also serve to enhance sentiment (Sichel, 1992).  

Fry (1992) says the development of nursing ethics stemmed from traditional male theories and principles, such as autonomy, beneficence, theologically-based contract theory, theories of justice, and secular-based theories of human rights. Biomedical theories are not directly applicable to developing a theory of nursing ethics because they don’t fit the practical realities of a nurse’s workplace; as a result, theories tend to deplete a nurse’s moral agency, rather than enhance it (Fry, 1989). 

To fit the context of nursing practice, which includes the context of the nurse\patient relationship, a moral point of view of persons, rather than a theory of moral action or a moral justification system is needed (Fry, 1989). 

Nursing is ninety-eight percent women and is culturally viewed as feminine (Miller, 1991). Eighty-three percent of physicians are male (Rounds, 1993). Boyer and Nelson (1990) have noted that nursing ethics takes little note that the profession is almost all women, despite this, the theories postulated came from male theories like contract theory, consequentialism, and other perspectives that don’t fit women’s life experience. If scholars could leave out gender, it illustrates how successful the obscuring forces are (Boyer & Nelson, 1990). (Theorists not only left out gender, but they also left out anyone who is not a white-heterosexual-male.)

The ethics of care gained popularity around the same time as Gilligan’s (1982) famous work, In A Different Voice. Gilligan’s work illustrated that women make moral decisions differently than men, due to their very different life experiences. Sherwin (1992) summarized Gilligan’s empirical study that identified a gender difference in women’s moral thinking. Women seek creative solutions that consider all parties involved and look for solutions that avoid harm to anyone (Sherwin, 1992). Men try to find the right rules for a situation, select an action that goes with the rule, even if someone’s interests must be sacrificed to justice (Sherwin, 1992). Women frequently feel a responsibility not to sacrifice anyone, which explains why women frequently see situations in a more complicated manner than men. To men, the right rule or theory is the “bottom line”.   

Gilligan (1982) illustrated that women look to the contextual details of relationships to solve moral dilemmas and judge themselves on their ability to care and actually define themselves within relationships. Male theories of psychological development have devalued women’s caring (Gilligan, 1982). Gilligan (1992) suggests both care and justice perspectives be included in moral discourse.

What Gilligan learned about women certainly fits nursing. Nurses’ roles demand they please everyone. The nurse’s interests are sacrificed within male justice models. Parker sees Gilligan’s framework as a challenge to nursing to go beyond the idea of care, to reach for a level that would include the need to care for oneself that is as vital as the directive to provide care (Parker, 1990).  

Noddings (1989) relational ethics stems from an ethics of care perspective, that differs dramatically from traditional individual ethics that judges acts by their conformity to rules or theories. Relational ethics not only considers physicality but includes the feelings and reactions of others within situations (Noddings, 1989). 

Relational ethics comes out of and depends on natural caring which mothering exemplifies, the caring one responds to the needs of the one requiring care. This mode of response is characterized by: engrossment (nonselective attention or total presence to the other during the caring interval), displacement of motivation (her motive energy flows toward the other’s needs), and responsibility and response (Noddings, 1989).  

Noddings (1989) claims in traditional ethics the ethical point of view is viewed as higher than natural caring. Within the relational perspective caring stems from our experience of caring, being cared for, and from a commitment to respond with care to others. Relational ethics validates its actions on the response of a genuine other, rather than through a principle or theory, and does not require all humankind to act in the same manner, in a similar situation. The ethical thinking strengthens and is informed within relationships (Noddings, 1989). 

Relational ethics may have been historically overlooked and even despised because of connections to the subordinate feminine – compelled to retain caring relations as a survival tactic (Noddings, 1989). Traditional ethics ignores questions of importance to women, and doesn’t address feelings that predispose people to break the rules (Noddings, 1989).   

Engrossment is impossible in nursing because you have too many patients to care for. While engrossed with one patient you’re tortured, knowing if you take time with one, you are jeopardizing another’s care. Nurses face this ethical dilemma every day. It’s a common expectation for nurses to displace their own needs to everyone in the health care system. Relating ethics to mothering describes a “martyr mother syndrome” that nursing certainly does exemplify.

While on the phone asking questions about a position advertised in a nursing publication, I became aware that being a nurse was not a requirement. I asked why they were looking to have a nurse fill the job. The answer I received was quite telling, We’re looking for someone with a nurse’s work ethic. Someone who is very caring, perfectionistic, and willing work very hard, long hours, for very little money.

   Institutions profit from nurses accepting exploitive expectations. The more patients each nurse cares for the less money the institution has to expend on salaries. No one cares what caring imposes upon nurses. The nurse is expected to care about the patient, care about following doctor’s orders without question, care about the institution saving costs, follow institutional policies to the letter and not complain about low financial compensation. 

Indeed our responsibility is to respond to patients, but we are asked to respond selflessly, in lieu of ourselves, making the ethics of care unethical.   

Although Noddings relational ethics attempts to be contextual and avoids traditional male abstract rules, it still does not include a nurse’s realistic contexts. The nursing profession certainly does exemplify mothering in its caring, however, it’s problematic to expect a female profession to adopt an ethics that will serve to perpetuate its oppression. Mothering has been historically devalued by men and was partially defined by men to fit their purposes. Mothering is not an ethical model that will empower or help nurses find solutions to their problems. The same “blame the victim” mentality that blames mothers for multiple societal problems, is used to blame nurses when unrealistic expectations aren’t met. Our professional ethics must come from our own “knowing” gained through experience, not from male theories. The only escape from internalized oppression lies within and among ourselves. We must demand an ethics that empowers.   

Noddings relational ethics seems to fit what is practiced by a hospice team. The dying person’s whole family is included in the team’s care plans in order to keep the family functioning under the challenging situation. The internalized oppression is so powerful that despite the fact that hospice team members tell family care givers to care for themselves, the lack of care toward the nurse caregivers is not acknowledged. No matter how much I can theoretically see that Noddings relational ethic is altruistic and stems from a nurturing intent toward patients, I cannot separate my experiential knowledge that informs me on a daily basis that I don’t have the power or ability to fulfill the caring responsibilities expected of me without sacrificing myself (due to the tremendous workload).

In reference to traditional philosophy, Hoagland (1991) asserts that principles don’t inform us when to apply them and end up, in the long run, only working when they aren’t really needed. Hoagland (1991) does not suggest that we throw out rules altogether, but suggest they be used as guides rather than arbiters of actions.

In criticizing Nodding’s analysis of caring that uses mothering as a model, Hoagland (1991) objects to its unidirectional descriptions of caring found in displacement and engrossment. The unidirectional nature of one-caring reinforces oppressive institutions. Noddings focuses on an unequal mother\child relationship where the child’s dependency elicits a maternal response – a mother’s natural caring is turned into a moral caring (Hoagland, 1991). 

Hoagland (1991) questions an ethics of caring whose model stems from a relationship in which one party is dependent; it justifies the inequality of the relationship and lacks an expectation of reciprocity from the cared-for.  

Hoagland (1991) suggests we ask what values are promoted by using an unequal relationship as an ideal, instead of something to be overcome or worked on. In our society, an ethics that addresses how we meet each other morally must induce change and challenge oppression.  Motivational displacement and engrossment involve acting on behalf of another, suggesting the appropriateness of taking control over another’s situation and making it all right, thus actually undermining the moral ability of both parties. (Hoagland, 1991). Adults don’t require parenting when they’re ill, so the mother model truly does not fit. 

I have seen nurses act like judgmental, controlling mothers in trying to enforce and implement doctor’s orders. They’re justification being – they must see to it that doctor’s orders are carried out. Internalized oppression mandates that nurses carry out doctor’s orders even when the nurse thinks the orders are not right. She was told not to question the male-dominated medical model, sadly she frequently doesn’t. 

Hoagland (1991) says we need something far more radical than an ethical appeal to the feminine because femininity itself has been defined by men. If an ethics of caring was to be morally successful in replacing a male morality of rules and duties, it must consider an analysis of oppression, function under oppression, acknowledge a self that is separate and related to others and provide a vision for change that challenges the values of the fathers (Hoagland, 1991).     

Ethics and Emotionality

In patriarchal societies, female values are not only secondary, they’re viewed as defective; the argument is that they’re based on emotion rather than logic and incapable of shaping ethical decisions (Toufexis, 1993). The ethics of caring demands an emotional involvement and an expectation to practice in a selfless manner that would not be expected of a male-dominated profession. It’s unethical to expect emotionality and self-sacrificing behaviors from a profession.

Curzer (1993) claims that the sort of care described by Noddings involves an emotional attachment, a sort of friendship with a patient which can cause serious problems in nursing’s context. The emotionality proposed by Noddings is a vice, not a virtue because it can lead health professionals toward favoritism, injustice, inefficiency, lack of objectivity, and burn-out (Curzer, 1993). 

Fry (1989) wants to use the concept of care, to forge a special unique spot for nursing ethics separate from medical ethics, thus committing nurses to have a higher priority of duty to care for patients than other people have to care for others (Curzer, 1993). This commitment also leads to the implausible view that nurses have more of a duty to care for patients than doctors do (Curzer, 1993). The slogan, “Doctors cure and nurses care” relates to this implausible view (Curzer, 1993, p. 179). 

Feminists reject the idea of a moral theory being totally separate from sentiment (Sherwin, 1992). I once served as a nurse on a hospital ethics committee. While discussing whether or not a woman should be taken off a respirator, I said that I couldn’t even fully think about the situation without seeing the patient and getting a “feel” for her and her family. The director of nursing, the only other woman involved in the discussion, said that we should not bring emotions into the decision-making, we were supposed to use rationality. I knew she was speaking from a traditional perspective. She detached herself from her past bedside experience so she could maintain her status with “the boys”. Having just recently completed extensive research in feminist ethics, I could not and no longer felt obligated to ignore my emotional perspective – I had learned to value it.  

This incident also serves as an example of how nurses in management use their internalized oppression to sanction nurses who do speak up and question the status quo from a woman’s perspective. Instead of empowering their staff, managers maintain subservience to patriarchy.         

Feminist ethics recognizes women’s different moral views, including the ethics of care, and seeks to include caring in our ethical discourse (Sherwin, 1992). Sherwin (1992) warns that we demonstrate caution in using our caring philosophies because the very nurturing and caring we’re so good at were developed as coping mechanisms for women to live next to oppressors. A possible danger lies in caring, women concentrate their energy on others – even to the point of providing protection to the oppressors (Sherwin, 1992). Feminist ethicists ask when is caring okay, and when is it best withheld (Sherwin, 1992). A tough question.

   We expect doctors and nurses to use their scientific knowledge. Society does not expect doctors to become involved emotionally, doctors are trained not to get emotionally involved with patients. The ethics of caring includes the expectation of emotional involvement on nurses that it does not expect of doctors. If nurses behave without emotional involvement, they are criticized for being cold. Imagine an ethics of caring as an expectation of an accountant, an attorney or other traditionally male profession. The added expectation of emotionality certainly explains why nurses have high burn-out rates. The added emotional investment drains psychological and physical energy faster.    

Differences: Male\Doctor Versus Female\Nurse 

Life-enhancing tasks which women have been responsible for (child care, nursing the sick) are the virtues we’ve learned to admire in ourselves as women and affect our views of morality. Physicians, because they don’t participate in direct caring for patients, lack equal opportunity with nurses to develop the attitudes of caring that hands-on work engenders (Noddings, 1989). Women have centuries of experience with the helpless and needy which stimulates and predisposes them to caring (Noddings, 1989).  

Noddings (1989) cites an example of a former minister who became an orderly in a nursing home, as evidence that the tasks involved in nursing trigger caring responses. His theoretical education had taught him caring, but the hands-on activity taught him something different (Noddings, 1989). The hands-on experience prompted him to become involved in patient’s rights – the hands-on taught him that patients don’t have any (Noddings, 1989). 

The training nurses receive may affect their attitude and ways of being on the job (Noddings, 1989). A nurse’s proximity to sufferers prevents her from being distracted by technology and predisposes her to be an advocate of healing, which presents a daily dilemma when doctors hold the power (Noddings, 1989).

While caring for a physician, dying from cancer, I asked him how he felt about the care he was receiving from his doctors. He said his doctors, (also his friends), peaked their heads in the room (many did not even step inside the room), asked a few questions, and were gone in seconds. Nurses don’t have this option (Noddings, 1989).  

This physician’s experience as a patient taught him that the doctors left the caring to nurses because they could not deal with the emotionality of his situation. 

Impossible Expectations and No Decision Making Power

  The decisions that need to be made in health care are not only scientific in nature (Sherwin, 1992). A physician’s scientific knowledge qualifies him to share this information with people trying to make health-related decisions, but does not qualify him to make their decisions (Sherwin, 1992). The training that physicians receive is technical, not ethical, and yet society has afforded doctors ethical authority (Warren, 1992). Nurses are not to make decisions, they are to follow doctor’s orders and nurture (Warren, 1992). A nurse’s intimate contact with patients sensitizes her to their needs holistically, combined with her scientific knowledge, actually makes her more qualified to facilitate patient decision-making.

In 1981, The National Commission on Nursing reported that major issues in nursing involved nurse-physician, nurse-administration relationships, and the lack of organizational structures to allow nurses to impact decision-making related to nursing care (Aroskar, 1985). The conflict between men and women, such as power and authority is also at stake in the nurse-physician relationship (Aroskar, 1985).

One health care model that Aroskar (1985) discusses relates an image of a hospital as a doctor’s workshop with other health professionals accountable to follow his orders. This view has been reinforced historically using the family concept to paint the institutional framework. Nurses serve as the hospital mothers, meeting everyone’s needs (Aroskar, 1985). Nurses are expected to take full responsibility when doctors are absent and relinquish all authority when doctors return. Nurses must also support the institution, especially its male members (Aroskar, 1985). 

Nursing school teaches that it is the nurses responsibility to refuse to follow doctor’s orders when they know they are incorrect. However, nurses risk severe sanctions when they do question a doctor’s order, no matter how wrong the order is. This duality places her in a no-win, powerless and unethical situation.   

This paternalistic view with the physician as the primary decision maker perpetuates the nurse-physician game. The nurse has to appear passive when making suggestions, so it appears that the idea actually came from the doctor. This relationship is unethical because it denies that nurses and physicians together are valuable to a patient’s care; neither should use the other as a means to an end decided by the other (Aroskar, 1985). 

In-Between Status

Bishop and Scudder (1991) describe nursing’s status in health care as in-between physicians, patients, and agency bureaucrats. Nurses are expected to actually bring together medical contributions, regulative controls, and permissions, and the desires of their patients to create a system to provide daily care (Bishop & Scudder, 1991).  

Making moral decisions in health care requires considering what is medically correct, what the institution will allow, and what the patient desires (Bishop & Scudder, 1991). A nurses in-between position and close proximity to patients places her in the unique position of being able to bring these perspectives together in an advocate role (Bishop & Scudder, 1991). Nurses certainly do function in this in-between status, which is an impossible burden on nurses. Without any legitimate authority to act on what truly is her unique informed perspective, the nurse is trapped in a difficult and powerless position.

Thompson (1985) discusses three mindsets about health care that may prohibit or limit the ethical practice of nursing. One is that health care revolves around medical cases, the major goal is to cure disease. Here the nurse may see herself as accountable to the doctor, his values dominate and her job is to follow his orders (Thompson, 1985). 

The second is that health care a commodity to be sold, making nurses accountable to the employer. Concern for individual patients may have a low priority on the hierarchy of the institution’s values (Thompson, 1985). 

The third centers on the patient’s right to relief from pain and comfort, making the nurse’s obligation to the patient, thus demanding that nurses and institutions run by patient needs (Thompson, 1985). If nurses view their role as subordinate to patients and physicians they might find it difficult to implement autonomy, promote health in an illness-dominated system or practice in an ethical manner (Thompson, 1985). I can see all three of these mindsets functioning at the same time. 

No Where to Go to Deal With Ethical Issues 

    The typical nurse does not have access to a forum to discuss or spend time reflecting on ethical issues (Fry, 1992). Paying nurses to discuss ethical issues does not fit into a cost-effectiveness analysis of nursing productivity. A nurse’s ethical reflection has not been deemed to have monetary or moral value.

I spoke to a nursing instructor at a Chicago University and asked her what ethical problems she faced teaching nursing. She said as a feminist, the most problematic issue is knowing how much to encourage and empower students to speak up. She wants to be sure to limit it at the point where they would lose their jobs. I know this to be true. I worked as an intensive care nurse through agencies and was on many occasions banned from a hospital because I had the nerve to speak up about unsafe practice.

Another dilemma for her is teaching students that their role is one of collegiality with physicians,  knowing the realities about physicians condescending attitudes towards nurses. 

Eleven years ago when I took ethics in nursing school it was awarded two credit hours compared to eight or ten credit hours awarded to other nursing classes. This weight disparity illustrates the value placed on ethics by the university. I asked the Chicago University nursing instructor how ethics was taught in the nursing program she teaches in. She said they included ethics in all the classes, but they don’t have a specific class in nursing ethics. I find it very problematic for a nurse’s education not to address ethics specifically when she will face ethical dilemmas every day in her work. This is a poor start for a profession so entrenched in science, technology, and humanity. Right from the start, she is told that what she thinks morally is not valued. 

I think ethics should be studied on its own and incorporated into classes. Nurses also desperately need to have their consciousness raised by teaching them about feminist ethics and women’s morality. Ethical discourse should also be made available to practical nurses and nurses aids. Ethical issues should be for everyone to discuss and be informed about.  

The day that I spoke to the Chicago University nursing instructor, her students were lobbying in Springfield to attain independent functioning in Illinois for nurse practitioners. Nurse practitioners are allowed to practice independently in many states. Can you imagine a male-dominated profession being told they could not practice what they spent years studying? Our caring is educated and experienced. We study health scientifically and should have the power to act on our caring and scientific knowledge independently.

I interviewed a woman in administration at a prominent ethics establishment, who told me that nurses were not allowed to ask for an ethics consultation, only doctors and families could do so. I asked what nurses were to do when they perceived an ethical dilemma. She said their nurse ethicist would tell them to encourage the family to ask for a consult. 

Expectations of selfless caring remains the rule, despite the fact that nurses voices and concerns were banned from being heard directly. “Shut up and care” is the message I hear. By following what we are told to do ethically we are participants in maintaining our own ethical oppression – just what patriarchy wants. 

No Care for the Care Givers

If caring were valued in society and in health care, adopting an ethics of caring would not only be ideal, it would be smart. Caring is not valued, so the ethics of caring functions to perpetuate caregivers abuse within health care institutions. The recipients of this ethics of caring are patients, health care institutions, physicians and society, but not the nurses aides, practical nurses, registered nurses, and least of all minority caregivers. 

Boyer and Nelson (1990) suggest that the nurse’s need to care for herself be explored, along with the propensity of the care morality to reinforce women’s oppression. The reality of the exploitation of nurses begs feminists to take it into consideration to ensure that patriarchy’s deeply entrenched patterns are challenged (Boyer & Nelson, 1990).  

Hine (1989) discusses mixed messages nurses get from society, they are frequently described as being special, but are also taken for granted. Society has an ingrained tendency to devalue women’s work and nursing is the most female of all professions. Unless a person is devastated by disease and needs a nurse, her value is not appreciated and once she is no longer needed she is quickly forgotten (Hine, 1989). Whether working in intensive care or in hospice, I always felt that no matter how much I did or how much I cared, it just wasn’t enough or was perceived as, just my job. Beyond the call of duty is expected.

   A philosophy of practice itself obligates practitioners to seek reform and the expansion of its authority whenever patient care requires it (Benner, 1991). Benner (1991) fears that the philosophy of care is being used to maintain status inequity and subservience but fears that if we were to abandon our caring in lieu of freedom for ourselves it might require the loss of our voice in nursing to heal and provide comfort. 

I wish to add an obligation to ourselves. When through consciousness-raising we become aware of how we are being objectified and set up as the system’s trapped middle person, we have an obligation to do what we can to facilitate our own authority and to demand ownership of how we use our professional knowledge. As we begin to see that we are acting in ways that maintain our own patriarchal oppression we must make attempts to achieve autonomy. What good is it to attain knowledge that can only be used with someone else’s permission or order? Nurse are not truly free to heal now. How healing can you be while being exploited? Nurses are like battered women trying to help their children heal from abuse while still being beaten themselves.        

Noddings (1989) discusses Gladys, a black nurse and midwife who worked long hours, was involved in many volunteer activities, while raising a large family, as portraying the essence of the ethic of care. Her life is a testimony of goodness far beyond the call of duty (Noddings, 1989). This example illustrates the unreasonable expectations nurses try to meet. Superwoman, the ideal image of a perfect female under patriarchy: passive, selfless, perfectionistic, a martyr doing it all for everyone and well.

Nurse Stress\Illness: Physical\Psychological

Medical ethics has not addressed the stresses that health care workers face on their jobs, despite higher than usual rates of alcohol and drug abuse, and high divorce and suicide rates among health professionals. In addition to the personal being political, the personal is professional. What may be seen as personal problems can certainly have a major effect on what occurs on the job. Because of this, stresses faced by nurses should be addressed by medical ethics, but they are not (Warren, 1992). Nurses must not wait for traditional ethics to address their problems. We must demand that our issues be addressed. Those in positions of power will never offer to do so.

Pulitzer (1993), in her article, “Short Staffed and Working Scared-Can Nurses Just Say `No’?”, shares results from The National Nurse Survey that documents for the first time some of what nurses face as a result of inadequate staffing. The survey illustrated that the increased workloads damaged patient care, led to decreased job satisfaction, increased stress, and life-threatening health problems among nurses. Nurses report much higher rates of stress and stress-related diseases: high blood pressure, heart disease, ulcers, colitis, and depression. Nurses cannot refuse an assignment no matter how unsafe or unethical the nurse thinks it is (Pulitzer, 1993). Thus the nurse has no power to facilitate her caring. If a nurse cannot refuse an unsafe assignment, she is a puppet whose caring is actually a weapon used against her. 

  The following accusatory words and/or phrases are used by hospital and nursing management to label nurses who speak up about unsafe assignments: abandonment, unprofessional, incompetent, unorganized, insubordinate, not functioning within the scope of nursing; in addition, hospitals may request that the state board examine her license (Pulitzer, 1993). Accusing a nurse of abandoning her patients is as bad as accusing a mother of abandoning her child. Hearing the above words repeatedly, nurses take these criticisms to heart and blame themselves for speaking up about safety, ethics and unreasonable expectations?  

      Health Care’s Hierarchal/Stratified “Family”

Glenn (1994) illustrates the family symbolism in the gender constructions in health care. The physician plays the authoritarian father. The nurses play the mother who is subject to the ultimate authority of the physician. Patients are dependent children with practical nurses and nurses aids playing the part of servants (Glenn, 1994). 

The family metaphor also has racial implications (Glenn, 1994). Since historically most doctors were white males, it only makes sense in this hierarchal ideology that the mothers, or the registered nurses, had to be white. Eighty-seven percent of nurses in 1980 were white, despite there being only seventy-seven percent of the population (Glenn, 1994). This dysfunctional family set up functions to maintain doctors’ power over patients, nurses, women, and minorities. 

Psychology of the System

  Summers (1993) refers to health care institutions as dysfunctional families; according to family systems theory, if one person is sick, the whole family is sick. Each family member plays a part in enabling other members (Summers, 1993). The following letter was written by a nurse to a hospital’s administration: 

In the past, nurses have always said “Okay.” But soon we’re going to have to stand up and say “No, we need care too!” It’s an insidious problem, something we all bought into, though sometimes I wonder if we nurses aren’t seen as women who have taken it because “they care,” and so will continue to take it.  … how can we care for patients authentically when we are so desperately in need of care ourselves? (Summers, 1993, p. 87). 

A dysfunctional system is a closed system whose members feel powerless, develop survival patterns, and function using learned coping behavior (Summers, 1993). Summers (1993) lists the rules that keep a dysfunctional system or family going, taken from Subby’s book, Codependency, an Emerging Issue: don’t talk, don’t feel, don’t rock the boat, be strong, be good, be right, and be perfect. When the expectations of a nurse include these rules, it’s likely there’s a dysfunctional system at work (Summers, 1993). I have sensed these rules on every job.  

Summers (1993) describes how Schaef’s and others work have described an addictive system. In this type of system, nurses impose unrealistic demands on themselves, expect that they should know all the answers and never make mistakes. Despite being at 110% efficiency, nurses are told to sign out early, reduce staff and not work overtime – and they go along. Nurses feel powerless over doctor’s decisions, an example being full code status on an aging patient who is begging the nurse to let them die. It’s hard to be around patients like this and not able to act on their wishes. The nurse’s feelings of rage and injustice may be pushed down, knowing that her feelings don’t matter in the system (Summers, 1993).

Nurses have to shut off their feelings of fear, anxiety, anger, as they would be a liability in a system that doesn’t provide an environment to express or experience them. Without acceptance for their feelings, they refuse to experience what they see and know, denying their own reality (Summers, 1993).   

Noddings (1989) claims that one who moves a pain-racked body feels sympathetic pain and develops psychic pain within themselves. I wonder what influence this has on nurses not speaking up for themselves more politically. Does their intimate knowledge of such profound human suffering lead them to see their own pain as minuscule when viewed in the holistic scheme of life? Does sensing another’s pain so exquisitely inhibit self-advocating behaviors? And if this is even possibly the case, then nurses should be provided with avenues to deal with their psychic pain. It’s unethical for the health care system to place nurses in positions that affect them so deeply on an emotional level without attempting to empower them in their work and provide them with support.    Summers (1993) draws from Schaef’s book The Addictive Organization that claims that demanding managers keep staff afraid and out of touch with themselves and too busy to challenge the system. Members of the system blame members at other levels for problems, keeping parties in conflict with one another, thus preventing the system from being challenged (Summers, 1993). Overwhelming, impossible workloads prevents people from having the time or psychological energy to advocate for themselves.    

Summers (1993) discussed Woititz’s book The Self Sabotage Syndrome in which Woititz says that guilt works as a motivator for nurses. Self-sacrificing “angels of mercy” don’t see “no” as an acceptable way to deal with limitations (Summers, 1993, p. 89). 

Instead of rewarding positive behaviors, nursing evaluations frequently focus on the negative. Institutional peers reviews use external referencing to compare nurses, making one person better than another. The shaming messages hit home with similar messages heard as children – we’re not good enough (Summers, 1993). This constantly reinforced devaluing prevents nurses from self-advocating.

Klebanoff (1991) says that nurses face a serious occupational hazard – codependency\internalized oppression. Klebanoff (1991) defines codependency as a set of survival skills adapted to live with internalized oppression in patriarchy. It’s a defense against patriarchy that’s also used by patriarchy to label and define its handmaidens and “victims” (Klebanoff, 1991, p. 152). As a label and method of social control, codependency serves as today’s witchcraft. From a feminist perspective, sexism and codependency exist as one (Klebanoff, 1991). 

The idea of codependency stemmed from family systems therapies used to treat addiction. The codependent, non-addicted partner exhibited the same behaviors even after the addicted partner was treated (Klebanoff, 1991). 

Having internalized patriarchy’s dominant value of inferiority, nurses act in a ways that supports this value; they are “trained” to sacrifice themselves (Klebanoff, 1991, p. 157). I view the internalization and training that nurses and women have received as brainwashing. The only solution is de-programming by way of feminist consciousness-raising, without which true empowerment will not be obtainable.       

The psychology involved in the battered women’s syndrome is the same psychology that disempowers nursing. What keeps the ideology of the battering situation going is that both sides of the situation believe that things should be as they are.   

Typical questions nurses and battered women ask themselves are similar and illustrate the self-blaming process. A battered woman might ask herself: Maybe I did undercook the chicken? Maybe I should have had dinner ready ten minutes earlier? Maybe I shouldn’t have bought myself a new jacket? Maybe I should do what he says? After all, he knows more than I do.

Similarly, nurses ask themselves: Maybe I am incompetent and unorganized? Maybe I should be able to take care of two, fresh, unstable, open-heart patients at the same time? Maybe it is unprofessional to discuss salary with a peer? Maybe I am abandoning patients if I refuse to accept a patient load that I think is unsafe? My nurse manager knows more than I do?

These questions paint a picture that illustrates the internalization of the abuser’s accusations, whether a lover or a health care institution. Nurses are asking themselves these questions every day while attempting to honor the ethics of care. The health care system blames the nurse and the nurse blames herself for the system’s behavior, giving credit to the institution’s desires and accusations, in the same way, that a battered woman does with her lover. Because I understand and see this victim-blaming and exploitation of nurses, I find it almost impossible to function in the field of nursing. 

It was difficult to understand the battered woman’s syndrome until feminists researched the phenomenon and made it clear how the abuse worked to keep women in its clutches. Nurse abuse will continue until the intricate mechanisms are brought to light. Under these circumstances, the ethics of care is complicit in perpetuating the abuse, despite the desperate need our clients have for our caring and despite the fact that nurses really want to care. Our concentration on caring blinds us to our own abuse. Nurses deny that they are not cared for at all. They frequently leave one horrible job, only to end up in another horrible job – like an abused woman who leaves one abuser and miraculously ends up with another. 

Solutions

  Warren (1992) questions the way we conduct ethics itself and challenges us to pose philosophical questions from various perspectives, not only from a doctor’s vantage point. She further suggests that ethicists leave their “philosophical armchairs” and go beyond asking what a Hispanic woman needs from ethics by actually going to the barrio and asking the women about their problems (Warren, 1992, p. 40). Warren (1992) realizes this kind of inquiry would involve a lot of listening but thinks this is what ethics has to do. 

We definitely need to find a way to incorporate diverse perspectives and values into nursing’s ethical framework – much knowledge and appreciable insights will be gained. Sisterhood, in actuality, is not global. A myriad of different perspectives can be found among nurses and women themselves. Our challenge is to holistically include contextual experience. 

I think nursing would be a good place to initiate Warren’s (1992) recommendation. There is no other way to correct historic non-listening. Listening to nurses would not only benefit the profession but would also provide valuable insights about caring for patients. The inclusion of nurse’s ethical issues would approach a true ethics of caring.

Warren (1992) discusses how those in academia relate to each other and suggests that this very discourse be dissected to bring out its moral dimension. The ethics game sometimes includes attempts to one-up each other; arguments are used as weapons that don’t resolve morally complicated issues. Ulterior motives and competition run the risk of harming others (Warren, 1992). The intellectual forest prevents one from seeing the trees. From my bedside perspective, it’s as if the academics are looking down at the forest, obviously not seeing the trees that I work in every day as a nurse.

    Warren (1992) recommends co-authorship of philosophical papers, especially those relating to relationship issues. Warren (1992) also suggests anonymous authorship to bypass reputation and concentrate on ideas. I think there would be much to be learned if a feminist philosopher and myself were to co-author a paper on nursing ethics, chocked full of practical data obtained from the trenches.

  Another suggestion Warren (1992) poses is to appeal to the entire reader’s personality, not just their intellect. We might inspire others by writing about people’s lives, encouraging them to express their ambivalence which could lead to self-knowledge. Feminist theory should not come from on high by “experts”, even feminist experts, it should be constructed from life experience (Warren, 1992, p. 42). No matter what the books tell us, we should trust our own judgment, listen to ourselves and regular folks. (Warren, 1992). “If knowledge is power, `life precedes theory’ is social revolution” (Warren, 1992, p. 42).

Warren (1992) claims to pose a radical question in asking whether our goal should be to find a small set of moral principles or values for everyone at all times in their lives. I don’t see this suggestion as radical. However, including non-traditional values might sound radical to traditional thinkers. 

Nursing could serve as a model of inclusion, it’s an ideal place for feminist ethics to become reality. Women must include themselves in moral matters – whether traditionalists like it or not. I imagine an ethical framework that is alive with the context of all our voices, allowing diverse values to breathe through it, freely and naturally.

Empowerment Ethics

All levels of nursing must find empowerment from its ethics, whether a nurse’s aid, staff nurse, manager, administrator or academic. Nursing must reject its hierarchal setup that mirrors male stratification models. True self esteem and personal power will not come from a stratification spot. If nurse’s aides are devalued, all of nursing is devalued. Men frequently find power in the layered system that places them at the top. Real power is the ability to empower all participants in health care to feel important, involved, appreciated, and cared for. Nursing ethics needs to be practical and available for each nurse to use for her patients and for herself. 

  Nursing Consciousness Raising

 Patriarchy ideology continues in health care because nurses are not aware of their internalized oppression. Miller (1991), in a quote from Ashley, says that nurses are not only the most conservative of conservatives, but are rarely feminist. Miller (1991) agrees with Ashley that this failure has led to nursing’s inability to liberate its education and practice. We must get beyond the internalization by deprogramming with feminism.

Nurses need to do their own ethics. Radical feminists think that we have to think for ourselves and not think in terms of what men have taught us to think. In the future, I would like to develop programs to raise nurses consciousness about feminist ethics. Hopefully, once the seeds of feminist consciousness are planted, methods will be developed and time would be allocated for nurses to become involved in the process of developing the profession’s ethics. 

Nursing Ethics Committees

Nurses need their own ethics committees. Multidisciplinary ethics committees have not addressed the unique concerns of nurses; the focus and missions of nurses and physicians are different (Buchanan & Cook, 1992). A few dilemmas Buchanan and Cook (1992) suggest for nursing ethics committees are: withholding treatment, communication, the use of technology, inadequate resources, and working conditions that threaten safe practice. 

Most ethical dilemmas involve patient care that nurses assume most of the responsibility for, but nurses are outside of the decision-making process (Buchanan & Cook, 1992). When ethical dilemmas are unresolved it leads to frustration and conflict which leads to inefficient care, burn-out, and staff turnover. A nursing ethics committee could provide the forum for avoiding burn-out from passive administration of another’s orders, facilitating nurses discussion of their concerns and an opportunity to strategize about solutions. Nursing ethics committees could also benefit administration by fostering work satisfaction and motivation, thus lessening turnover which is cost-effective (Buchanan & Cook, 1992). 

The only thing I disagree with Buchanan and Cook (1992) about is they suggest that nurses should become knowledgeable about ethical principles and theories. I think nurses have to inform the theories and principles through their contextual, relational experiences. I think nursing ethics committees would be an ideal place to initiate feminist consciousness-raising and begin the deprogramming process. Nursing’s non-feminist, patriarchal values block their ability to challenge the health care system. 

Revolution

    One great solution already in progress is a new and different nursing journal called Revolution: Journal of Nurse Empowerment. Rounds (1993) quotes its publisher, Laura Gasparis Vonfrolio: 

Why should we be well-adjusted to a maladjusted situation?  Silence means consent. We must put a stop to passive obedience, self-effacing dedication, and loyalty to institutions. Nursing education must consist of finance and economics and be grounded in a historical perspective on sexism (Rounds, 1993, p. 38).

Rounds (1993) discussed a favorite term of Gasperis’s, “horizontal violence” which describes how a hospital pits nurses against each other with things like, “primary nursing”, “shared governance”, and “career ladders” (p. 38). 

Policy Making

Backer, Nikitas, Costello, Mason, McBride, and Vance (1993) say that nurses have the potential to transform public policy by instilling an ethic of caring into health policies; nurses with feminist values will bring new skills to the formation of policies and their implementation. Women have had to struggle to bring their voices to policy tables, but are beginning to realize that their work and values have been demeaned and devalued (Backer et al, 1993).

Devaluing has led to oppressed modes of behavior, such as shame, self-hatred, isolation, horizontal violence, and passivity. Patriarchy has perpetuated nursing’s attitude of second best, and of lacking faith in one’s self (Backer et al, 1993). 

By valuing our voices we can create a new world view that would value caring, integrating diverse values. Nurses need to reformulate work, relationships, and leadership from feminist values. The feminist model of caring encompasses values of wholeness, process, support, interconnectedness, equality, collaboration, and diversity, contrasting patriarchal values of individualism, inequality, and competition (Backer et al, 1993). 

Caring in nursing includes being responsive rather than judgmental and hierarchal, in a system that is not only disease management (Backer et al, 1993). It includes a range of nurturing, protective acts devoted to assessing and responding to patients and being involved at the macro (social values and policies) and micro (interpersonal processes and caring acts) levels. It involves a system that empowers nurses and patients in a “web of inclusion” model that affirms relationships (Backer et al, 1993, p. 73-74). Collaboration is encouraged and diversity and equality are highly valued. Improvisation combines familiar and unfamiliar components sensitive to context, process, and intuition, not excluding objective approaches (Backer et al, 1993).

The conflict of doing work that is not valued by society has taken its toll on nursing (Backer et al, 1993). Backer et al (1993) suggest that nurses suggest a redistribution of power among diverse voices, rather than taking power away. Nurses’ voices can be especially effective in policymaking because the ethics of care encompasses both instrumental (objective, rational) and expressive (affective values, belief components of an issue); feminist and traditional voices should be heard in policymaking (Backer et al, 1993).  

I think that persons actively involved in practicing nursing should be involved in formulating nursing’s ethics. Its origins should not only come from academia, administrators or even feminist philosophers. Our ethics must be informed from the bedside and from nursing’s unique diversity.

Conclusion

The idea of an ethics of caring looks nice on paper sounds nice in conversation, but the practical reality is that it sets up impossible expectations, and perpetuates the exploitation of nurses. 

Before nurses can make their voices heard they must first be made aware of the danger their caring poses in a male-dominated world that has devalued caring. We must raise the consciousness of nurses, deprogramming their internalized oppression. We must find ways to infuse nursing’s exhaustion with hope from feminism. Society has a stake in nurses not sacrificing themselves to care for others. At one time or another, each of us is likely to be dependent on nursing’s care. 

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Feeling Awkward? 12 Reassuring Lessons From Science In ‘Cringeworthy,’ Melissa Dahl Explains the Surprising Science of Awkwardness

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By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., expert on single people, author of Singled Out and other books. She’s an Academic Affiliate in Psychological & Brain Sciences, UCSB.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201802/feeling-awkward-12-reassuring-lessons-science