Shame

Our powerful reactions to receiving criticism are linked to the innate emotions of shame and anger. Evolved for survival in primitive circumstances, these sometimes overwhelming reactions do not always serve us well in civilized situations. Extreme reactions to real or perceived criticism can lead to serious psychological illnesses such as depression, addiction and eating disorders. This book gives the reader an understanding of the evolutionary function of shame and anger and the destructive ways in which they can manifest themselves in criticism situations. To help with this problem, the author describes techniques as old as yoga and as new as neurofeedback for quieting powerful emotions and becoming more confident in the face of criticism. These techniques can be used by adults and taught to children to help avoid many of the painful and destructive emotional experiences that shape our self-image and often set the stage for depression and other emotional disorders.

The Survivor’s Guide to Sex

The Survivor’s Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse, by Staci Haines (1999)

From Amazon.com: “Move over abuse, and move in pleasure! The Survivor’s Guide to Sex is for all women—heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, partnered, and single—who want to delight in their own sexuality. Based on the author’s extensive training and experience in working with abuse survivors, The Survivor’s Guide to Sex offers a complete guide to sexual recovery:

* Pleasure and Desire—How to discover and fully own your desires on your own terms.
* Nonjudgmental support for all sexual styles and interests!
* Dissociation—Discover how you “checked out” to survive and how you can “check in” now for healing and your own sexual expression.
* Embodied Sex—No more grocery lists and wrestling matches with relics of the past! Learn how to be in your body during sex, present for yourself and your partners.
* Consent and Boundaries—The “yes,” “no,” and “maybe” of sex. How to say “yes” to your desires and develop boundaries to take care of yourself.
* Triggers—A sex life built around triggers becomes no sex life at all. Practical tools for healing through triggers while enjoying all the delights and complexities of a fully-embodied sex life.
* Sex Information—Chock full of sex-positive information on all aspects of sexual response, masturbation, and partner sex, tailored to the needs of survivors.
* Emotional Healing and Intimacy—Don’t settle for less than you want! Grant yourself permission to cultivate pleasure, sexual delight, and love.
* Plus Sex Guide Exercises, bibliography, resources, and index.”

Silent Rage: African American Boys and Sexual Abuse

Silent Rage: African American Boys and Sexual Abuse, by Dr. Gabrie’l J. Atchison, Jae Quinlan (Illustrator) (2010).

Silent Rage is an unprecedented exploration of Black boys and sexual abuse. Because being vulnerable is antithetical to cultural definitions of Black manhood, many boys choose to suffer in silence. The silence leads to self-destructive behaviors impacting families and communities. Based on a review of literature provided by therapists and Black male survivors, Silent Rage provides information, resources and hope for male survivors. In addition to survivors, partners and wives of survivors, parents and foster parents, social workers and students within Nursing, Social Work and African American Studies will find this book informative. Cover art “AKOBEN/PROTECT ME” by Jae Quinlan.