Month: November 2017

Wounded Boys Heroic Men

Wounded Boys Heroic Men: A Man’s Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse, by Daniel Jay Sonkin, PhD. (2011)

From Amazon.com: “Specifically written for men who have been physically, sexually, or psychologically abused, Wounded Boys, Heroic Men is a groundbreaking workbook for transformation. Insightful anecdotes provide relief, comfort, and hope while step-by-step instructions teach the methods by which abused men can escape the vicious cycle of abusing others. Dr. Sonkin carefully analyzes the feelings, attitudes, and behavior patterns necessary so that the healing process can take place. He describes how the abused can finally make peace with the abuser while finding inner peace. Equally important, the book will help friends and family members better understand the struggles these men face.”

When Parents Play Favorites

Source:

When Parents Play Favorites, Preferring one child over another

By Ilan Shrira, The Narcissus in All of Us. Ilan Shrira is a social psychologist at Lake Forest College.

Joshua D. Foster, Assistant Professor of Social Psychology at the University of South Alabama

Posted January 10, 2009

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-narcissus-in-all-us/200901/when-parents-play-favorites

Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches

Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches

(Crossing Press Feminist Series)

 by Audre Lorde. With Cheryl Clarke (Foreword) (2007)

Presenting the essential writings of black lesbian poet and feminist writer Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider celebrates an influential voice in twentieth-century literature.

In this charged collection of fifteen essays and speeches, Lorde takes on sexism, racism, ageism, homophobia, and class, and propounds social difference as a vehicle for action and change. Her prose is incisive, unflinching, and lyrical, reflecting struggle but ultimately offering messages of hope. This commemorative edition includes a new foreword by Lorde-scholar and poet Cheryl Clarke, who celebrates the ways in which Lorde’s philosophies resonate more than twenty years after they were first published.

These landmark writings are, in Lorde’s own words, a call to “never close our eyes to the terror, to the chaos which is Black which is creative which is female which is dark which is rejected which is messy which is…”

“[Lorde’s] works will be important to those truly interested in growing up sensitive, intelligent, and aware.”
—New York Times 

Above review from Amazon.com

Sex Object: A Memoir

Sex Object: A Memoir

February 28, 2017

By Jessica Valenti

New York Times Bestseller

“Sharp and prescient… The appeal of Valenti’s memoir lies in her ability to trace objectification through her own life, and to trace what was for a long time her own obliviousness to it…Sex Object is an antidote to the fun and flirty feminism of selfies and self-help.” – New Republic

Hailed by the Washington Post as “one of the most visible and successful feminists of her generation,” Jessica Valenti has been leading the national conversation on gender and politics for over a decade. Now, in a memoir that Publishers Weekly calls “bold and unflinching,” Valenti explores the toll that sexism takes on women’s lives, from the everyday to the existential. From subway gropings and imposter syndrome to sexual awakenings and motherhood, Sex Object reveals the painful, embarrassing, and sometimes illegal moments that shaped Valenti’s adolescence and young adulthood in New York City.

In the tradition of writers like Joan Didion and Mary Karr, Sex Object is a profoundly moving tour de force that is bound to shock those already familiar with Valenti’s work, and enthrall those who are just finding it.

Above review from Amazon.com

Why Won’t You Apologize?

Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

By Harriet Lerner PhD

October 10, 2017

“If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won’t You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer.” —Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong

“Harriet Lerner is one hell of a wise woman. She draws you in with deft and engaging prose, and then changes your life with her rigorous intelligence and her deeply human advice. I promise that you will never see ‘the apology’ in quite the same way.” —Esther Perel, MA, LMFT author of Mating in Captivity

Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language—I’m sorry—and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.

Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.

Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

Above description from Amazon.com

 

Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse

It Wasn’t Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion, by Beverly Engel, LMFT (2015).

Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault.

In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you’ll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences.

Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination.

This book is based on the author’s powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You’ll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you’ll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion—pride.

Summary above from Amazon.com