Category: Abuse

About Dysfunctional Families

Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family

Generalizations

Dysfunction defined:

Physical/emotional abuse

Chronic physical illness

Alcoholism/substance abuse

Sexual Abuse

Inconsistent and unpredictable parenting

Chronic marital conflict

Typical Dysfunctional Parenting:

Denial

Avoidance

Rationalization

Projection of blame

Over-Control

Negativity

Ridicule/shaming

Anger and hostility

Role reversals

Chronic crises/unpredictable

Lack of positive reinforcement

Conditionality/non-Empathic

Dysfunctional Rules:

Don’t talk

Don’t trust

Don’t feel

Results of Dysfunction:

Depression

Anxiety disorders

Low self-esteem

Substance abuse

Fears of rejection

Self-defeating patterns

Negative relationships

Self-critical

Controlling

Difficulties with intimacy

Affectively blunted

Over-responsible

Perfectionistic

“All or Nothing” thinking

Hypervigilant

Not “Good Enough” or unlovable

Difficulties with spontaneity or fun

Positive Traits:

Heightening Sensitivity

Empathic

Inner Strength

Problem Solvers

Take less for Granted

Commitment to having a healthy family with compassion and caring

Overcoming Dysfunction:

Awareness of dysfunction

Support from healthy people

Open mindedness to change

Increasing flexibility

Positive Self-Talk

Recognition of feelings

Communication of feelings

Recognition of needs

Delegate responsibilities

Creating safety

Finding mentors

Work in therapy

Self-Worth & Good Enough

Parenting oneself

Judith Lewis Herman, M.D. Quote

“Underlying the attack on psychotherapy, I believe, is a recognition of the potential power of any relationship of witnessing. The consulting room is a privileged space dedicated to memory. Within that space, survivors gain the freedom to know and tell their stories. Even the most private and confidential disclosure of past abuses increases the likelihood of eventual public disclosure. And public disclosure is something that perpetrators are determined to prevent. As in the case of more overtly political crimes, perpetrators will fight tenaciously to ensure that their abuses remain unseen, unacknowledged, and consigned to oblivion.

The dialectic of trauma is playing itself out once again. It is worth remembering that this is not the first time in history that those who have listened closely to trauma survivors have been subject to challenge. Nor will it be the last. In the past few years, many clinicians have had to learn to deal with the same tactics of harassment and intimidation that grassroots advocates for women, children and other oppressed groups have long endured. We, the bystanders, have had to look within ourselves to find some small portion of the courage that victims of violence must muster every day.

Some attacks have been downright silly; many have been quite ugly. Though frightening, these attacks are an implicit tribute to the power of the healing relationship. They remind us that creating a protected space where survivors can speak their truth is an act of liberation. They remind us that bearing witness, even within the confines of that sanctuary, is an act of solidarity. They remind us also that moral neutrality in the conflict between victim and perpetrator is not an option. Like all other bystanders, therapists are sometimes forced to take sides. Those who stand with the victim will inevitably have to face the perpetrator’s unmasked fury. For many of us, there can be no greater honor. p.246 – 247
Judith Lewis Herman, M.D. February, 1997”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery
from http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/psychotherapy?page=3

Why Adults Seek Treatment Quote

“The mental health system is filled with survivors of prolonged, repeated childhood trauma. This is true even though most people who have been abused in childhood never come to psychiatric attention. To the extent that these people recover, they do so on their own. While only a small minority of survivors, usually those with the most severe abuse histories, eventually become psychiatric patients, many or even most psychiatric patients are survivors of childhood abuse. The data on this point are beyond contention. On careful questioning, 50-60 percent of psychiatric inpatients and 40-60 percent of outpatients report childhood histories of physical or sexual abuse or both. In one study of psychiatric emergency room patients, 70 percent had abuse histories. Thus abuse in childhood appears to be one of the main factors that lead a person to seek psychiatric treatment as an adult.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, MD. Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence–From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

from http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/psychotherapy?page=2