Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family
Generalizations
Dysfunction defined:
Physical/emotional abuse
Chronic physical illness
Alcoholism/substance abuse
Sexual Abuse
Inconsistent and unpredictable parenting
Chronic marital conflict
Typical Dysfunctional Parenting:
Denial
Avoidance
Rationalization
Projection of blame
Over-Control
Negativity
Ridicule/shaming
Anger and hostility
Role reversals
Chronic crises/unpredictable
Lack of positive reinforcement
Conditionality/non-Empathic
Dysfunctional Rules:
Don’t talk
Don’t trust
Don’t feel
Results of Dysfunction:
Depression
Anxiety disorders
Low self-esteem
Substance abuse
Fears of rejection
Self-defeating patterns
Negative relationships
Self-critical
Controlling
Difficulties with intimacy
Affectively blunted
Over-responsible
Perfectionistic
“All or Nothing” thinking
Hypervigilant
Not “Good Enough” or unlovable
Difficulties with spontaneity or fun
Positive Traits:
Heightening Sensitivity
Empathic
Inner Strength
Problem Solvers
Take less for Granted
Commitment to having a healthy family with compassion and caring
Overcoming Dysfunction:
Awareness of dysfunction
Support from healthy people
Open mindedness to change
Increasing flexibility
Positive Self-Talk
Recognition of feelings
Communication of feelings
Recognition of needs
Delegate responsibilities
Creating safety
Finding mentors
Work in therapy
Self-Worth & Good Enough
Parenting oneself