Patricia J. Anderson
Indiana University Northwest
Social Problems, Soc 163, Winter 1983
Grade: A (in class also)
Ideology and Myths: The Fuel of Woman Abuse
Wife abuse was first seen as a social problem by feminists in the late 1960s and early 1970s. By sharing their research and experience in helping battered women they are trying to pull society’s head out of the sand so that they can see what a devastating problem it is. In more than 14 years, these feminists have not yet succeeded in making wife abuse a commonly known and understood problem.
The problem affects Battered women, the batterers, their children and extended families, the police, (called in, in cases called domestic violence), the judicial system (offers little or no help to alleviate the problem), the clergy (who usually are confided in and in turn send the battered wife back to the batterer), and human liberation in general.
“A battered woman is one who is repeatedly subjected to any forceful physical or psychological behavior by a man in order to coerce her to do something he wants her to do without any concern for her rights. To be classified as such, a couple must go through the battering cycle at least twice”. 1
“It is estimated that 50-60% of all women will be battered victims at some point in their lives”. 1, 2
“The problem includes physical and psychological abuse; both types of violence exist in battering couples and cannot be separated”. 1
Myths
Many myths function that keeps wife abuse from being dealt with in a positive and helpful way by society; a few of the most common ones are:
ONLY A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THE POPULATION IS AFFECTED.
Like rape it is an unreported crime; it usually takes place at night, in the home, without witnesses. It is estimated that only 1/10 of cases are reported. Of 500 divorce suits filed in New York in 1976 – 57.4% listed physical abuse as the cause.
BATTERING OCCURS MORE OFTEN IN LOW-CLASS OR MINORITY WOMEN.
All socioeconomic classes, educational levels, income levels, cultures, and races are victims of wife abuse. Middle- and upper-class women are less likely to report it for fear of embarrassment and exposure of their batterer, who is a “pillar of the community”. A study in England revealed a high incidence among police, doctors, and service professionals (lawyers, executives, college professors, and elected officials).
BATTERED WOMEN ARE MASOCHISTIC OR DESIRE TO BE BEATEN.
Case histories show no provocation in the majority of cases at all, or the precipitating factor may be something like a dinner served 5 minutes late. Batterers lose control because of their own internal reasons; this myth robs responsibility from the male. Out of thousands of women’s stories not one showed any signs of masochism.
BATTERED WOMEN CAN ALWAYS LEAVE.
They do not have the freedom to leave; she knows that her man is capable of gross violence; he makes chillingly frightening threats about what he will do to her friends or family if she leaves – she believes him! Frequently she knows no one who will believe her. He keeps her isolated a great deal so that her sphere of helpers is minimal – usually she has nowhere to go.
Characteristics
Common characteristics of battered women and their batterers are quite revealing:
1. SHE: Has low self-esteem.
HE: Has low self-esteem.
2. SHE: Believes myths about wife abuse.
HE: Believes in myths about wife abuse.
3. SHE: Is a traditionalist, who strongly believes in family unity, and prescribed feminine stereotyped role in the family.
HE: Is a traditionalist, and believes in male supremacy and the stereotyped masculine role in the family.
4. SHE: Accepts responsibility for his actions.
HE: Blames others for his actions.
5. SHE: Suffers from guilt yet denies the terror and rage that she feels.
HE: Is pathologically jealous.
6. SHE: Presents a passive face to the world but has the strength to manipulate her environment enough to prevent increased violence and/or being killed.
HE: Presents a dual personality.
7. SHE: Has severe stress reactions, with psycho-physiological complaints.
HE: Has severe stress reactions, during which he uses wife battering to cope.
8. SHE: Uses sex to establish intimacy.
HE: Frequently uses sex as an act of aggression to enhance self-esteem in view of waning virility. May be bisexual.
9. SHE: Believes that no one will be able to help her resolve her problem except herself.
HE: Does not believe his violent behavior should have any negative consequence.
Some battered women grew up witnessing their mothers abused by their fathers; some were treated like fragile dolls by their fathers; these pampering fathers taught their daughters that they were incompetent and had to be dependent on a man – sex role stereotyping.
An overwhelming majority (if not all) of batterers were their father’s apprentices; fathers showed them how to beat up mom, and some even let their son get a few licks in early on mom too – for practice. Definitely a learned behavior.
The core of the problem lies in the ideology perpetuated by the traditional attitudes shared by the wife, the batterer, and society (police, courts, and clergy). He MUST dominate and keep his wife in line; she sees him as her ruler who has superhuman abilities.
During hospitalizations for fractured ribs or jaws (or both), she thinks to herself that he may have gone a little overboard, but the dinner WAS served 10 minutes late. The batterer dotes over his wife after the beating brings flowers and candy, tells her how much he loves her, and begs forgiveness.
The husband is not sanctioned for his violence by his wife or society. If police are called to an acute battering episode, they don’t see it as a crime, they merely tell him to calm down; they see domestic violence as a nuisance, but they don’t arrest the batterer or report it as a crime. The wife is too terrified of what would happen if she pressed charges: they usually have enormous trouble in proving it and judges are not interested in sticking their noses in either.
His wife forgives him although during the acute battering incident he does not stop even when she is obviously severely injured. The wife has no legal action with any teeth in it to prevent another beating; police will not remove him from the house, so she must leave if she wants to get away from him.
I went to Haven House, a battered women’s shelter, in Hammond, In. The psychologist who runs it is Joan Cmar who was happy to share information with me because one of the solutions to help battered women is to spread understanding of the problem through as many people as possible.
Joan doesn’t hold much hope for the problem in Indiana. Since Reagan took office the federal funds that support the shelter have been cut drastically and she fears may be cut altogether. Donations are not enough to keep it open.
Right now Indiana offers no legal recourse or protection for the wife. The woman who manages to get out and get to the shelter can only bring what she can carry. The police will not go with her so that she may get her belongings. She faces starting life all over without clothes, money, or a place to live, (the head of the household all the money). 5
There is a bill now pending in the Indiana legislature that would allow women to press charges on their word alone and have the batterer arrested. A similar bill, when passed in Illinois, immediately brought out 1600 cases filed; only 2 batterers were prosecuted. 5
She says the police do respond quickly if a batterer attempts to cause trouble at the shelter, so she feels safe. 5
The police and officials of the courts are mostly male, they frequently share some of the traditional ideas about a man’s right to dominate his wife; they help support the problem by turning their heads and blaming the victim – why doesn’t she just get divorced? 5
When I asked Joan about the clergy’s helpfulness (all denominations) she became quite angry. She says they are the worst! Most priests and ministers are also male (churches are quite traditional and sexist). They instruct battered women to return home, be better women and keep the family together at all costs. An extremely high percentage of batterers also engage in incest and child abuse toward their daughters. The clergy still think the family should stay together! 5
She says there are no counselors in Northwest Indiana who are either knowledgeable about or trained to help violent men and their families. So even if the couple, by miracle, get into marriage counseling they have almost no possibility of ever having a violence-free relationship. Even in other parts of the country with expert counselors, almost no progress toward violence-free relationships – divorce is the only answer. If counseling were to work, the husband would need to give up a great deal of power, which is very unlikely. Also, unless the wife gets assertiveness training, she’s likely to marry another batterer. 5
A personal acquaintance of mine recently revealed that she is a battered wife. I was shocked because they own a very successful business and seem to be very nice people. She was beaten by her mother as a child; her husband and four of his brothers beat their wives just like their fathers did. This was my friend’s third abusive relationship.
I personally know a female anesthesiologist who is a victim of a battering husband. She had three babies in 30 months! Batterers don’t allow their wives to use birth control. The doctor lost her job because when she was called out on an emergency case the husband would sit at the nurse’s station in surgery and wait for her – he didn’t believe that some cases could take as long as they did. He ran into surgery one day to see if she left by the back door; this behavior let her secret out of the bag and the hospital couldn’t have him doing that again.
Society loses these women because they must gear every waking moment to seeing that life goes smoothly for their husbands so that they can avoid them getting upset and beating them again. Even if she works, he usually picks her up and takes her there; he doesn’t allow social relations with her coworkers. Most of the case histories that I have read reveal that whenever possible the men take their wives to work with them. (My personal acquaintance says that not only does she go to the business with him, but she can’t even grocery shop without him. To the outsider it looks like they are just so cozy).
Society as a whole is held captive to this pervasive ideology as long as it continues to invade the minds of the violent family’s children, thus ensuring another generation of oppressive batterers and their victims.
A great deal of money is spent and time wasted by the police having to go to “calm down” domestic violence.
Society loses these women because they must gear every waking moment to seeing that life goes smoothly for their husbands so that they can avoid them getting upset and beating them again. Even if she works, he usually picks her up and takes her there; he doesn’t allow social relations with her coworkers. Most of the case histories that I have read reveal that whenever possible the men take their wives to work with them. (My personal acquaintance says that not only does she go to the business with him, but she can’t even grocery shop without him. To the outsider it looks like they are just so cozy).
Solutions
-Continued and increased federal support for shelters.
-Laws to make wife abuse a crime. Mandatory 48-hour incarceration of batterers who have obviously beaten up their wives. This would involve police education and a change in attitudes to the problem. The batterer must be negatively sanctioned. Mandatory psychiatric help to those known to beat their wives.
-Hotlines for batterers, their children, and battered women. 2
-Educate educators about the problem and discuss its existence in schools; drug abuse is now taught in public schools. 2
-Nurses and doctors should be taught to ask suspected cases if someone did this to them; this may very well open the subject to the victim, and it tells her that you would believe her and take it seriously. Records could be used later in court to prosecute batterers. 2
-The clergy need an educational overhaul to bring the problem to light with them.
-Movies about the realities can be enlightening. An increase in men’s liberation would help. Hopefully, awareness could be stimulated to encourage men to express their feelings more openly. Machoism really hurts and traps them too, with the traditional stereotypes.
-We could teach our children to be more expressive, especially boys – let them cry! Children are taught about why the clouds do what they do – why not teach them the psychology of why people do what they do?
-I would like to see more men like Rosie Greer in the public eye.
-Radical feminism is not the answer. The equal rights amendment will not change people’s minds or hearts. Women will not be free until men are too. I hope to see a new social movement for Human Liberation; men will be allowed to knit and cry, and women will be elected president or become pipefitters if they choose.
While researching this subject I learned about myself – I am a feminist, but I think the ones that are too radical have discouraged its real growth.
Bibliography
1. Walker, Lenore E. (1979). The Battered Women. Harper & Row.
2. Davidson, Terry. (1978). Conjugal Crime. Hawthorn.
3. Roy, Maria. (1977). (Ed). Battered Women: A Psycho/sociological Study of Domestic Violence. Van Nostrand.
4. Personal acquaintance.
5. Cmar, Joan. Counselor – Haven House, Hammond, IN.
6. Personal friend, volunteer – Haven House, Hammond, IN.