Speech – Flirting: An Anthropological Look

Taken From:

1983.  Givens, David B., Ph.D., Love Signals: How To Attract A Mate.  Pinnacle Books: New York.

Purdue University

Fundamentals of Speech (Public Speaking)

Com 114, November 1, 1988

Grade: 93%             

Teacher comments:  Good relationship with an audience, very nicely done

Flirting: An Anthropological Look

SPECIFIC PURPOSE STATEMENT

To inform the audience about courtship behaviors.

THESIS STATEMENT

Courtship behaviors are instinctive, initially nonverbal, and mandate conversation before touching.

BODY

I.       Courtship behaviors are instinctive.

         A.     Our brains are pre-wired with all the courtship cues that we need.

         B.      Thought and mating centers are on different neurological floors.

                  1.      Defies reason

                  2.      Nuclear physics and flirt

                  3.      Nonverbal cues better

         C.     Courtship is slow, cautious and gentle in all human groups. 

                  1.      Myth of caveman

                  2.      Wolf spider

II.  Courtship behaviors are initially nonverbal.

         A.     The main goal initially is to establish harmlessness.

                  1.      Stranger fear

                  2.      Shrug vs. military shoulders

                  3.      Head tilt

                  4.      Unfolding

                  5.      O.K. to scratch

                  6.      Casts

                  7.      Men armless and strong

         B.      There are signs we can look for to see if someone is attracted to us. 

                  1.      Pupil dilation and eye blink rate

                  2.      3 second gaze

                  3.      Forward lean

                  4.      Body alignment with reach out

                  5.      Smile closed or Jimmy Carter

                  6.      Female intuition

III.    Courtship behaviors mandate conversation before touching.

         A.     Conversation with a potential sex partner not only puts you on the line, it hangs you over the edge.

                  1.      Secret not to threaten

                  2.      Soft voice (cuddle response)

                  3.      Where is the bathroom

                  4.      Shared focus

                  5.      Share food (vulnerability)

                  6.      Be yourself

                  7.      Show meekness

         B.      Touching has deeper meaning than speech and leads to the end of courtship, which is intercourse.

                  1. First-touch accident

                  2.      Body extension

                  3.      Hugs (security and comfort)

                  4.      Females make love to get hugs and males give hugs to make love.

                  5.      Kissing childlike feelings

                  6.      Touch faces

                  7.      Prolonged kissing auto pilot

                  8.      Making love ends

Published by

trishandersonlcpc@yahoo.com

I've been a psychotherapist for over 20 years. I specialize in sexual abuse and other types of physical and emotional trauma. I've been inspired by the growth and courage I've witnessed in my clients. I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to do this work in the world. I'm now doing video counseling for those who reside in Illinois.

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